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Disclaimer: Unless I look like Joss to you, they’re not mine. There’s something he has that I don’t. No, it’s not that--well, actually that’s another--get your filthy minds out of the gutter. He has power and I don’t. Which is why he owns the characters and I don’t. They also belong to Mutant Enemy (which is owned by Joss) and Twentieth Century Fox. Okay?
Author’s Notes: This is the sequel to ‘One More Time.’ It’s dedicated to my fellow Buffy/Angel Extremists and Megg, Shannon, and Rose. They mainly requested it. You’ll want to read the other story first for this to make any sense at all. For those of you who forgot, Buffy was with Riley but then she left him and ran away with Angel for the night. This deals with the consequences. Feedback is always welcome, I’ll give you a present if you give it to me.
Buffy awoke slowly, leisurely. The slumber she had been in was the first sound one she’d had in months. She was aware of a body beneath her, it was cool and unmoving. The night’s events came slowly back to her and she shuddered when she thought of the raw emotions and intensity that had shaped their lovemaking. She still didn’t believe it had happened. The ache inside, the burning sensation was gone. Only peace remained.
She wormed her way out of Angel’s arms, careful not to wake the sleeping form. She opened the closet door quietly, taking a black silk shirt off the hanger and slipping it over her body. It hung down to her knees and the silk felt reassuring on her naked flesh. Buffy walked out of the bedroom into the small kitchen, her stomach demanding she find something to eat. The clock on the wall told her it was around three in the morning.
She rooted around the bare kitchen, settling on an apple and a bottle of water. She didn’t have much of a choice, seeing as how that was pretty much the only food in the small space. There was a window over the sink with heavy black blinds used for blocking out the sun covering it and Buffy pulled them up to reveal the city below. It was still raining buckets, and she knew that whenever it rained she would think back to this night, the night she had returned to her lover’s arms. The black of the night was cut through by the street lamps, making the rain appear mystical and haunting. A homeless person ambled down the street, drenched newspaper trying to protect his head from the cold water. Buffy stared at him as he turned the corner and walked out of her view.
A strong pair of arms encircled her waist and a pair of cool lips attached themselves to her neck. She leaned back into the broad, unyielding chest as he peppered kisses along her jugular vein. Buffy sighed, completely content. Everything felt so right. There was no sadness, no pain, no suffering. There was only love. She didn’t think about what would happen tomorrow when she went back to school and she didn’t think of what her friends would say. She instead concentrated on Angel and the wonderful feelings he was evoking.
“I didn’t mean to wake you,” she apologized softly as she took a bite of her apple and offered him some, all the while staring out at the rain. He detached his lips from her neck and gently took her wrist, guiding it to his mouth. He placed a soft kiss on it before taking a bite of the apple.
“I sensed you weren’t in my arms anymore and I came looking. Nice shirt,” he replied wryly. She smiled into the soft darkness of the kitchen.
“You should like it, it’s yours,” she said.
“Looks better on you,” he said, nuzzling her neck. She pressed into his body, causing him to tighten his hold on her. They stood in the kitchen as she finished her apple and took a swig of water, the only sound the patter of rain on the building and Buffy’s chewing and swallowing. They didn’t need words to express their emotions, they were evident throughout the room. It radiated love and hope and trust, and comforted the two souls within.
Buffy finished and threw her apple core in the garbage can as she allowed Angel to pull her back into the bedroom. The silk shirt was tossed on top of the damp clothing and once again souls joined as bodies did. They fell asleep clutching each other unconsciously, neither wanting to let the other go. They dreaded the time when Buffy would have to leave to go back to school, but fell into deep sleeps where no horrible thoughts dwelled. There was only the other, and love.
****************
“Angel...Angel, sweetie I have to go,” Buffy said softly, gently shaking the sleeping vampire. When that didn’t work she leaned down, her lips melding with his in a sweet kiss. His lips reacted even in sleep and he opened his eyes lazily to see his smiling love crouching over him.
“What?” he asked sleepily, his arms coming around to draw her closer.
“I said I have to go, I have a class at ten thirty. The bus I need to catch leaves in ten minutes,” Buffy said, gazing into his eyes.
“What time is it?” he asked. She broke his gaze and looked at her watch.
“Eight thirty,” she replied. He pulled her closer.
“Take a cab and stay here with me,” he said softly in her ear. She smiled but shook her head.
“If I don’t leave now I don’t think I’ll be able to at all. I have to shower and change, unless you want me wearing your clothes to class all day,” she told him, gesturing at her attire. The red silk shirt and big black pants seemed to drown her small body. He grinned sleepily and suppressed a yawn.
“Good point. I’ll drive down to Sunnydale at sunset, okay?” he asked as he shifted to make himself more comfortable. “I miss not holding you already.”
“I’m already counting the minutes. I’ll leave the address on the table,” she whispered, catching his mouth in a passionate kiss. Her hands cupped his cheeks and she drew away to stare at him again. The love she saw in his eyes was what would get her through the long, grueling day ahead, she knew. Her small hands caressed the smooth skin, touching his chin, forehead, nose. His eyes slid shut and she gently kissed each eyelid.
“I love you,” she whispered as he drifted off.
“I love you too, more than you’ll ever know,” he mumbled back. She waited until he had fallen asleep before removing her hands from him and standing up. She gathered her wet clothes up and put them in the bathroom, letting them dry. She walked into the bedroom again and laughed silently as she stole one more look at her beloved. Angel had taken one of the pillows and wrapped his arms around it, holding it close to him.
“It’s only temporary, love. It’s only temporary,” she said softly as she left the apartment. She stood in front of the elevator doors, waiting for them to open. When they did, Cordelia Chase stared back at her. Buffy blushed and tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear.
“Hi, Cordy,” she said as she stepped into the elevator.
“Hi yourself. You finally come to your senses and realized you were miserable without him?” she asked as the doors closed and the elevator began to move.
“Yeah, I left him sleeping,” Buffy said sheepishly. The elevator slid to a halt and the doors opened. “I gotta go, I have a class. I’ll see you soon?” Buffy said as she exited. Cordelia nodded and flashed her a smile.
“Tell Xander I said hi,” she said as the doors closed and she was gone, leaving Buffy to wonder at her words.
Buffy stepped out into the sunshine, carefully avoiding the puddles. She felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders and another one had been placed on. It was less heavy, but it wouldn’t be lifted until she had confronted all her friends. And Riley.
The bus ride to campus was rather dull, Buffy rehearsed in her head what she would tell them. She felt so alive, more alive than she had in months. The prospect of living with Angel and waking in his arms every day sent bursts of joy through her body. She felt loved again, she felt whole.
Buffy sprinted to the apartment she shared with Willow, knocking impatiently when she remembered her keys were at Angel’s. Oz opened the door and let her in without a word. Willow shrieked when she saw Buffy, dropping her spoon and rushing up to her. Buffy just gazed at her, eyes bursting with bliss and love.
“I want details!” she squealed. Buffy smiled.
“I’ll be more than happy to give them after I shower. Class is at ten thirty, right?” she asked as she moved down the hallway to her room.
“Eleven,” Willow told her.
“You mean I could’ve stayed longer? Damnit,” she said as she picked out a blue sweater that had three-quarter sleeves and a v-neck and a pair of black flairs. She showered quickly and dressed. Her hair up in a French twist and her makeup freshly applied, she walked back into the spacious kitchen and popped a bagel in the toaster.
“Okay, spill. Last I saw, you and Angel played some tonsil hockey and ran off into the rain. It was like a scene out of the movies, it was so romantic!” Willow said. Buffy laughed at her eagerness and Oz cracked a smile.
“I don’t know what came over me, Will, I just saw him and couldn’t help it. I needed him, I needed to know that he still loved me. So I went, I didn’t care about anything. Were you guys mad?” she asked worriedly.
“As in Oz and I? Of course not. Xander sat sputtering like an idiot and Riley just stared,” Willow said, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. Buffy shifted in her chair.
“How’s he doing?” Buffy asked.
“He was really quiet the rest of the time, I think he was in shock. He looked so hurt, I...sorry,” she said quickly. Buffy gave her a strange look.
“Did I miss something? What’re you sorry for?” she asked. Willow squirmed.
“I just...I don’t think what you did was right, Buffy,” Willow said, not meeting her best friend’s gaze. Buffy stared at her. Her mouth opened but no sound came out.
“How can you say that?” Buffy asked, astonished. Oz got up quietly and went to the couch, giving the two girls privacy.
“Well, you had Riley and you were happy with him and--”
“Happy? I was happy with Riley? Okay, where was I when you came to that conclusion?” Buffy demanded. Willow swallowed and twisted her hands in her lap. “Did I look happy with him?”
“No...” Willow said uncertainly.
“So how can you say that?”
“What I meant was that I don’t think it was fair to him,” Willow said hastily. “He really cared about you and you just blew him off for Angel, a guy who’s probably really evil right about now.”
“The curse is permanent,” she said automatically. “And I know it wasn’t fair to him, but I can’t help how I feel. Riley wasn’t what I wanted. Angel is.”
“I totally understand, Buffy. I just don’t like what you did to him,” Willow replied.
“Neither do I,” she cried, throwing her hands up. “I feel terrible about it. But it happened and there’s nothing I can do. It was so right, Will,” she whispered suddenly. “It was so amazing and perfect and beautiful. If you were in my shoes, wouldn’t you have done the same thing if it had been Oz?”
Willow hesitated. The truth was she *would* do the exact same thing the Buffy had. She knew how sad Buffy had been these past few months and for the first time since they had graduated high school she looked alive again. A smile spread on her face.
“Yeah, I would have. In a second. I’m sorry, Buffy, I shouldn’t have said that to you. I’m glad you’re back to being yourself,” Willow said, reaching over to hug her friend close. Buffy returned the hug gladly.
“Thanks, Will. It means a lot to me,” she said as her bagel popped. She stood and walked to the toaster, taking the hot food out and smearing butter on it. “So now that you approve, I have a favor to ask.”
“Ask away,” Willow told her. Buffy gave her a smile and bit into her bagel.
“Okay, well...I want Angel to live with us. Here,” she said. Willow sat in shock for a second, then shook her head slightly to recover. “He can help us out with rent and stuff, which’ll be good because my cash flow is drying up,” Buffy went on quickly when she saw Willow’s uncertainty. Willow sat pondering for several seconds, then looked up at Buffy with a smile.
“We get a new roomie? Cool!” she cried. Buffy gave her a relieved look.
“It’s really okay with you?” she asked worriedly. Willow nodded enthusiastically.
“One hundred percent okay. It’ll be worth it to see you happy again,” Willow replied warmly. Buffy laughed and gave her friend another hug. A knock at the door interrupted them. Buffy jumped up, grabbing her bagel as she did so, and walked to open it. Xander stood, looking surprised to see her. Anger quickly replaced the surprise and Buffy sighed as she stepped aside to let him in. She shut the door and took a bite of her bagel as she walked back to the table.
“Hiya, Xander,” she said, breaking the silence.
“‘Hiya’? That’s all I get? I thought you would’ve raced to see me and ran off into the rain with me. Oh, wait, no, you only do that with Angel,” he said bitterly. Buffy took a deep breath, forcing the anger that surged up back down.
“Yep, I’m a one-vampire woman,” she replied evenly. Xander glared at her.
“Why?” was all he asked. One word, a million meanings.
“Why did I go with him or why wasn’t it you?” she retorted. Xander’s glare turned to a gape. “I love him. It’s as simple as that.”
“But he left you. He let you move on, he abandoned you! How do you know he won’t do it again?” he demanded.
“Because I trust him.”
“How can you?”
“I don’t question my feelings, Xander. They tell me to trust him, so I do. Why is this so hard for you to accept?” Buffy asked, trying to keep her voice low. It wasn’t working.
“He gave you the chance to have a normal life. And you were having one and enjoying it, and all of a sudden he ruins it! Is his logic like one that only vampires understand?” Xander replied.
“No, it’s one a man can understand,” she said. A flash of hurt crossed her best friend’s face. “Look, Xander. I don’t know why this is such a big deal. I love Angel. I always have and I always will. Why can’t you accept that?”
“Because I don’t want to,” Xander sighed. “When he broke up with you, I wanted you to pick me. Instead you found Riley. I was just waiting for you to realize that I still love you.”
Buffy sat in silence for several moments, digesting everything he had just said. She looked him in the eye as she spoke. “Xander...I’m sorry. You know I don’t feel the same though.”
“Yeah, I know,” he replied, deflated. “I’m sorry too, I should be supportive of your decision. Angel’s probably better for you than Riley. Was it just me or was he getting really annoying?” he asked as he grabbed her bagel away and took a bite.
“You noticed that too, huh?” Buffy replied, causing the group to laugh. “Hey, before I forget, Xand, I saw Cordy this morning. She says hi. It sounded like she wants you to call her,” Buffy said. Xander’s face turned hopeful.
“Really?”
“Yeah. C’mon, we have to go,” Buffy said, glancing at her watch as she popped the final bite in her mouth
“Right, college. Isn’t thirteen years of school enough? Of course not, they make us suffer through four more,” Xander grumbled as they all stood.
“It’s a conspiracy against the youth of America. They want to turn us into professionals,” Oz spoke up. The others nodded.
“So Buffy, when’re you gonna talk to Riley?” Willow asked as they walked to the elevator. Buffy shrugged.
“Probably tonight,” Buffy replied as she stepped into the elevator.
“Are you gonna tell him Angel’s moving in?” she inquired.
“Whoa, wait a sec. You *never* said anything about him moving in,” Xander threatened. Buffy smiled.
“Did I forget to mention that?”
********************
Buffy saw Riley sitting in the cafeteria later that day. She approached carefully, really not wanting to make a scene in front of everyone. He looked up dully as he saw her strolling up to him. She reached his table but didn’t sit.
“Riley, we...we need to talk,” she said softly, feeling horrible when she saw the look in his eyes. He nodded slowly.
“We do,” he agreed.
“Okay, now that that’s established...say around six at my place?” she asked.
“Sure. I’ll be there,” he replied. She gave him a half smile.
“Great. See you then,” she said before turning and walking away.
*******************
“Buffy, there’s a message from your mom on the machine...she said it was urgent that you call her,” Willow called when Buffy got home from the campus library. She had a paper due the following Monday.
“Okay,” she called back as she walked into her bedroom and dropped her bag on the bed. Reaching for her portable, she pressed speed dial and chewed on her lip, waiting for her mother to answer.
“Hello?” Joyce Summers asked as she picked up.
“Mom, it’s me,” Buffy said, picking up her nail file to work on her nails while she talked.
“Buffy, hi. How’s school?”
“Fine, but I doubt that’s why you called,” she replied.
“I had an interesting visitor last night--”
“Was it a demon?” Buffy asked, sitting up straight.
“No, no, it was your boyfriend Riley. He was very upset about something but he wouldn’t tell me what was wrong. I was just curious, that’s all. How are things between you two?” her mother asked casually. Buffy groaned.
“It’s interesting you asked, Mom...I have a funny story to tell you,” she said, stalling. “You remember Angel, don’t you?”
“Of course I do. Why are you bringing him up? What does he have to do with you and Riley?”
“Well, um...something happened last night...between Angel and me,” Buffy said, waiting. There was only silence on the other line. “Mom? You still there?”
“I’m still here,” her mother replied tightly.
“Okay, so what do you think?”
“What exactly happened, Buffy?” Joyce asked. Buffy shivered at the tone of her voice. She sounded angry.
“Well, we were eating at this cafe and I saw him walking down the street and I couldn’t help myself. I left my friends and ran off with him. We ended up at his apartment,” Buffy responded. Another pause.
“Did you have sex with him?”
The question she really hadn’t wanted to answer.
“No.”
A sigh of relief came from the other phone. “Thank God, Buffy--”
“We made love, Mom. We didn’t have sex, we made love,” Buffy told her.
“What about Riley? Did you even take into consideration his feelings?” Joyce demanded.
“No, I didn’t. I should’ve, but I didn’t. I was being selfish, Mom, I thought you’d be able to relate to that,” Buffy retorted, her anger rising.
“How dare you? I can’t believe that you went off and slept with your ex-boyfriend when you had one who was perfect for you sitting there.”
“You might have thought he was perfect, but there were plenty of flaws,” Buffy said.
“Flaws? He could give you children, he could walk in the--”
“Sunlight, he could be a Superbowl champ. Yadda, yadda, yadda. I’ve heard it all before, Mom. I didn’t love him,” Buffy said, shifting on her bed and switching the phone to her other ear.
“And I suppose you still love Angel?” Joyce asked. Buffy nodded, even though her mother couldn’t see.
“With all my heart. ’m not looking for your blessing here or anything. I just think you should know that Angel is moving in here and Riley and I are officially over,” Buffy said. “There goes my chance at a normal life. Damn.”
She snapped her fingers, which she knew her mother could hear. Her sarcastic tone was not lost on her mother, who replied with fury in her voice.
“Buffy, you’re my daughter and I forbid you to see Angel.”
“Mom, I hate to tell you this--actually, I don't--but I’m almost nineteen. What you say doesn’t affect me. Legally. I’m an adult now and I can make my own decisions. decide I want to be with Angel,” Buffy told her mother, her decision weighing on her words. There was silence for a long time on the other line. The door bell interrupted Buffy and she glanced at her watch to see it was six. “I’d love to stay and argue this more, Mom, but Riley’s here and I have to go break up with him. I’ll talk to you later.”
Cutting her mother’s reply off, Buffy replaced the phone in it’s cradle and stood up. She noticed her nail file had been flung across the room and was sticking out of the wall.
“Oops,” Buffy said as she carefully removed it and placed it on her dresser. Willow had let Riley in and he stood in the foyer nervously. Buffy noticed that Willow and Oz had disappeared, which she was thankful for. She didn’t need an audience for this one.
“Hi, Riley,” she said as she led him into the small living room. “Do you want a soda or something?” she asked. He shook his head as he sat on the couch. Buffy plopped herself down in the recliner facing him. “I guess I owe you an explanation, huh?”
“An explanation would be a good thing right about now.”
“Okay, well...I told you about Angel, right?” she asked. He nodded.
“Ex-boyfriend, broke up with you before the prom, wanted you to have a better life,” Riley said.
“Well I never stopped loving him. I know I shouldn’t have led you on and I really did like you in the beginning. My feelings faded when I realized I still loved Angel with all my heart. Last night...all my pain and heartbreak took over and I just had to see that he still loved me. Horrible excuse, huh?” she grinned sheepishly. Riley sighed.
“I know nothing I say or do will change your mind, but I love you Buffy. I wanted to tell you for so long, I was going to tell you last night.”
“I’m sorry, Riley,” she said sincerely. “But I don’t feel the same way.”
“I know,” he said, looking her in the eye. She was happier than he had ever seen, and he knew he would never have been able to evoke that look from her. He stood and pulled her to her feet. “One more hug?”
She smiled and obliged, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Thanks for understanding,” she whispered.
“Not much else I can do,” he replied. She nodded and together they walked to the door. Buffy opened it to find Angel standing in front of it, his hand ready to knock. She gave him a look of pure love.
“Angel, this is Riley. Riley, this is Angel,” she introduced the two. The two men regarded each other coolly. Riley stuck his hand out and Angel took it.
“I’ll see you around, Buffy. Suddenly I get the feeling I’m intruding,” Riley said as he gave her a goodbye kiss on the cheek. She nodded and smiled, her eyes straying to the man she loved. Riley took that as his cue to leave.
Buffy and Angel stood staring at each other for a long time. Finally she pulled the flaps of his jacket to bring him close to her and reached up for a kiss.
“I missed you,” she whispered as she pulled him inside and shut the door.
“So, this is the place, huh?” Angel asked, taking a look around. Buffy nodded, beaming. He wrapped his arms around her body, holding her close to him as she gave him a quick tour, ending up in her bedroom. They were lying on her bed kissing softly when she broke off.
“Angel, there’s still some stuff we need to talk about,” she told him. He nodded and pulled her close. “First, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive you for leaving.”
“I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive myself. I didn’t want to, Buffy, I swear. I thought in the long run it would have been better for you,” Angel told her, kissing her forehead gently. She felt so comfortable in his arms, like all her problems just melted away when he was near.
“My feelings for you will never change. You’re scared, I know,” she whispered, gazing into his eyes. “So am I. But we can make this work. Because we love each other so much.”
“I know, Buffy, I know. I’m planning on sticking around for a *long* time. If I ever try and leave again, knock me out and chain me to the bed until I snap out of it,” he told her, smiling. She grinned wickedly.
“That has potential,” she said, capturing his lips in another kiss. Hearts healed as mouths met and for the first time in two years things were where they should be.