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Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy, Angel, Giles, or any other characters. They are the property of Joss Whedon. The story, however, comes straight from my head, and it takes place four years after Buffy's initial move to Sunnydale. Enjoy.
Part 1
She lay curled up in a fetal position on the bed in her mother's room, hugging herself tightly and wishing she could make all the pain go away. Her eyes were bloodshot with all the tears she had shed, and she imagined her hair was a mess. But she didn't care.
The day had been unbearable, and Buffy still didn't know how she had gotten through it without collapsing. Perhaps it was because her friends had been there, and she didn't know how to be weak in front of them.
Now she was all alone, and there was no need to put up a brave front. She had come in here more than three hours ago to vent some of her grief, only it appeared that it wasn't going away anytime soon.
This is probably what every girl fears, Buffy thought. Losing a parent is the worst.
Her mother had died a mere two days ago, the victim of the vampires that stalked Sunnydale. Joyce Summers had just closed her art gallery for the night and was walking to her car when it happened. An unknown vampire had taken her life.
Buffy pounded the pillow with her fist at the memory, a loud sob escaping her throat. "It's not fair!" she screamed. "She had nothing to do with my life! She didn't deserve to die like this!"
When the last of her shouts died in the air, Buffy became aware that someone was standing in the doorway, looking in on her. The hair on the back of her neck prickled, and she knew there was only one person who could have that effect on her.
However, she didn't want to deal with even him just now. Without turning, without so much as a glance his way, she said, "Go away, Angel."
He didn't, simply stood there watching her in silence a few moments. It hurt him to see her like this. Awkwardly, Angel said, "Giles called and told me what happened... Buffy, I'm so sorry."
She shut her eyes tightly, willing him to leave her in peace. Angel must have picked up on these vibes, but he did the exact opposite. He walked closer and lay one hand on her arm. "Buffy," he started.
That alone was enough to unhinge her. She sat up in a fury, pressing her hands to his chest to shove him away. A moment later, Buffy was up and had him pinned to the wall, an intense amount of anguish and resentment showing in her eyes.
"Just stop, okay?!?" Buffy screamed at him, all sorts of irrational thoughts coming to her. "You have no business being here! You can't bring her back!"
Angel looked down at her calmly. "I would if it were even remotely possible," he said quietly. "Don't you know by now that it affects me when something bad happens to you?" He paused, his dark eyes flooding with tears. "You mean the world to me, Buffy."
Buffy didn't want to listen to any of that, simply wanted to stay mad at him. Just for the reason that another of his kind had stolen the most important person in her life. But, there was something about the situation, either in the gentleness of his voice or the look on his face, that made her drop all her defenses.
Caught up in a flurry of emotion, Buffy reached up and pulled his face towards her, kissing him passionately on the lips. She could feel him moving to pull away, but she didn't let him. She couldn't let him.
Angel soon gave in to her demands, swept up in the same passion that she felt. The kiss seemed to last a lifetime and yet only a few minutes.
When it was over, he and Buffy stared at each other in silence, then she whispered, "I didn't mean what I said. I'm glad you came, Angel."
He managed a sad smile, the same one he had worn years ago during their farewell kiss at the Bronze. "Everyone else had a chance to offer their condolences. It was only right that I get to do the same," he said, not sure why he felt a need to explain.
Buffy nodded absently, not caring about the reasons. Suddenly, all that mattered was the fact that the love of her life was here now, exactly when she needed him the most.
The flurry of events that followed were initiated when Buffy casually asked him to stay. The next thing she knew, it was hours later, and she was awakening to find herself and Angel in bed together.
Buffy blushed when she recalled just what had occurred between ten o'clock and now. With a goofy grin, she turned to the vampire beside her, laying one arm across his bare chest. Angel went to stroking her blonde hair, giving her a kiss on the forehead. "How do you feel?" he asked her gently.
Buffy paused, aware that every inch of her body was glowing. "Incredible," she said with a slight giggle. "You sure know how to cheer me up."
Angel smiled slightly, then froze when he saw the two tiny bite marks on her neck. He couldn't remember having bitten her during... But the telltale signs were there nonetheless.
He got up abruptly, feeling sick. Buffy looked at him a moment in fear, then automatically began to feel her throat with one hand.
Tears sprang to her eyes, her senses numb as she watched him dress. Finally, Buffy pushed herself off the bed wrapped in a sheet, and went to him, a sure sign he hadn't taken enough to do her harm. "Angel," she whispered, voice filled with sorrow.
He refused to look at her, too ashamed at what he'd done. After all the years of fighting his true nature, to give in on a night spent with her... It was too much for him to take. "We shouldn't have done this," he said, breaking her heart and his own with those words. "And it can't happen again... God, what if I had killed you?"
"But you didn't," Buffy said softly. "I'm still here, Angel." She paused, then reached out to turn his face towards hers, but he only expanded the distance between them. "Don't leave me. Not now," she begged. "I love you."
Those words made Angel freeze in his tracks, and he simply held his shirt in his hands in preparation to put it on. He was silent for a long moment, then, without turning, he said, "We come from two different worlds, Buffy. It's not wise for us to pursue a relationship, and we both know it."
She paused, her emotions in turmoil as she glanced around the room. Finally, anger descended on her and she grabbed a pillow of all things, throwing it at him roughly. "Fine!" she screamed. "Just go ahead and run then! You've gotten good at it over the years we've known each other, so one more time shouldn't matter, should it?!?"
Her angry remarks cut into him, bringing tears to his own eyes which he didn't let her see. Numbly, Angel finished getting dressed and simply walked out, aware that she had sunk to the floor in a fit of sobs.
All the way back to his apartment, Angel didn't allow himself to think over what had transpired. But he knew that he had done the opposite of what he had set out to do. He had only meant to comfort Buffy, and instead made her feel worse. His conscience plagued him to no end over it.
Only now in his loft, more than two miles out of her hearing range, he finally found the courage to say what he couldn't in her presence. "I love you too, Buffy... And that's why I can't be around you," he whispered to the empty room...