|
|
Buffy slept, her dreams filled with images of the past. Suddenly, there was a bright light, and she opened her eyes groggily to see Angel standing before her. She’d had dreams like this before, every night since that morning...
Wordlessly, she threw back the covers and swung her legs around to the side of the bed. She stood and walked slowly toward him.
All the while, Angel just stared at her, his eyes never leaving her body. She looked up at him, and he bent his head down, just as she tilted hers up, their lips meeting in a tender kiss, full of love and forgiveness. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he pulled her closer, gently encircling her waist.
They broke off, and she gazed up into his big brown eyes. She tried to speak, but he pressed a finger to her lips, silencing her.
“Running doesn’t solve anything. They need you here.”
“But it’s so hard,” Buffy cried in despair, tears falling once again.
“It has to be hard. That’s just the way life is. It’s a challenge, and if you leave now you’ll never forgive yourself.”
“I miss you,” she whispered, staring into his eyes. Reaching down, she wrapped her fingers around his, their Claddagh rings touching. She still wore hers, with the heart pointing toward her, indicating to the world that her heart was taken. She would always wear it.
Taking her other hand, she stroked the side of his face slowly, memorizing every curve, just as she had done...
“I love you,” she whispered, aching to hear him echo her words. She looked down and saw that he had begun to fade slowly away. Desperately, she clung to him, not wanting to let him go, but he continued to fade from view. With a whisper, he was gone, and she cried out his name, her voice full of despair, lost hope, love, and a yearning that tore apart her soul.
She awoke with a start, and it took her a moment to remember everything that had happened the night before...the fight...running away...her dream. As she glanced longingly around the room, looking for a trace, any trace of him, the air seemed to stir. I love you, the air said, and Buffy smiled as she realized it was Angel’s voice that had uttered those three words.
“ANGEL!!!”
Walking slowly down to the basement, the Slayerettes, Joyce, and Giles heard the cry, the heart-wrenching cry that had escaped Buffy’s lips as she dreamt of her lost love. Her pace quickening, Willow got to the door first and examined the lock. Motioning the others to be quiet, she turned the knob and the door opened silently.
Proceeding forward, she entered the apartment and looked around for Buffy. Not seeing her in the living room, she cautiously stepped over to the doorway leading to Angel’s bedroom. Everyone else was right behind her. Peering into the room, she saw Buffy lying in Angel’s bed, the covers drawn up to her chin, curled in a little ball.
With a start, Buffy jumped up as she saw Willow and the rest of the Scooby Gang in the doorway. She flinched as if she had been struck.
“What do you want?” she croaked, her voice void of emotion. Her eyes were red-rimmed and puffy, her makeup was running down her face in two black lines. It completely broke Giles’s heart to see his Slayer like this, broken down. She had always been the strong one, masking her feelings and getting the job done. But that Buffy had been replaced by this one, and the change had occurred that May morning when she had sent Angel to hell.
“Buffy...we...we want to help you,” Willow said, her voice filled with compassion.
“There’s nothing you can do.”
“But there is,” Xander said, stepping forward. Buffy shot daggers at him with her eyes. “Listen to me, will you?”
“Oh, so now you wanna talk, huh? What, you just weren’t feeling chatty that morning?” she interrupted, her voice bitter.
“We can be your friends,” Xander continued, ignoring her comments, ignoring how much they stung. “You need us, Buff. You know you do. You may have lost Angel, but you still have us. You’ll always have us.”
“He’s right,” Cordeila said, surprising everyone for the three hundredth time that night. “I’m sorry there isn’t more that we can do. But you gotta face facts. Angel: gone. Us,” she indicated everyone present with a sweep of her manicured hand, “here. You do the math.”
Tears streaming down her face, she realized what they were saying. They had forgiven her for running away, which she suspected had something to do with all that she had told them. But that didn’t matter. They were still able to forgive her for all that she had put them through, intentionally and unintentionally, and that meant so much to her.
“Really?” Buffy asked, her voice totally drained. They all nodded, and she slowly smiled. Going over, she hugged Cordelia first.
“Ya know,” she said quietly, “I kinda like this new and improved Cordy.”
“Don’t get too used to it,” Cordelia warned, “I have a reputation to protect.” Everyone laughed, for the first time since last May, they really laughed. Moving on, she went and hugged Oz.
“Thank you. Thanks for taking care of Will while I was gone. Well, except for the nine or ten days that you had an intense urge to go out and maul people,” she teased.
Next she turned to her mother. “Mom, I’m so sorry,” she said, burying her face in her mother’s shoulder. Joyce wrapped her arms around her daughter, who had so much strength and courage and had suffered so much. “I’m sorry I disappointed you.”
“Oh, Buffy. You didn’t disappoint me. We all make mistakes. It’s one of the great joys of living. You’ve made me so proud...and if you ever need any help, I’m here for you with love and support.”
Mother and child held each other for a minute, crying. Then Buffy broke away and turned to Giles.
“I’m sorry.”
“There’s no need to apologize. You did what you had to do. Something that...traumatizing...it needs time to heal,” Giles said as he hugged his Slayer.
“Heal?” Buffy laughed, a sad laugh. “I’ll never heal.”
“Give it time,” Giles replied wisely, and Buffy nodded.
Taking a step out the door of the bedroom, she stood before Willow. Silently, the best friends looked at one another and Willow held out her arms. Buffy hugged her, hard, grateful that she was there. Pulling back, she teased, “So what exactly have you been conjuring up lately, Will?”
“Oh, nothing much,” Willow said, blushing.
“I think I may need to stop at one of those year-round Halloween stores and buy you some witch necessities--black hat, broom, hey, even a fake wart for you nose!!!”
“Ha, ha, very funny. Just make sure the store’s owner won’t turn me into an actual bad witch!” Willow said, making everyone laugh again.
Buffy’s face grew solemn, and she walked back into the bedroom where Xander stood. Facing him, she stared at him. She forgave him for not telling her. True, it hadn’t been his decision to make, but Buffy could see where he was coming from (even though she knew he had done it because of jealousy). She liked to think that he did it for everyone’s own good, like he had claimed.
Reaching up, she pulled him into a forgiving hug, and Xander’s face relaxed as he realized she was forgiving him. Pulling her close, they continued to hug, and a feeling of relief swept through the entire room.
Buffy was back.
Letting go, she turned and walked back over to the bed. She quickly made it, then led everyone out of the bedroom. She walked to the door and examined the lock. “We should replace the lock, so no one can break in.”
Giles nodded, and followed Buffy out of the apartment, followed by the rest of the Slayerettes, out into the early morning sunlight. As they stepped out, the sun cleansed their wounds, which made the task of healing begin, all except for the wound that Buffy had, which was because of Angel.
She didn’t want it to heal, it was a way for him to stay that much more alive within her. She smiled at her friends, and they walked through the sunlight.
Together.
And from the depths of hell, an Angel, fallen, redeemed, and fallen again, smiled up at them. The Slayer and her Slayerettes had survived another challenge. Their friendship was vital to the Slayer, it had kept Buffy alive, their faith in her had helped her through the toughest times.
Buffy needed her friends to be there for her, to lean on for support, to tell her she wasn’t alone in the fight against evil.
They were there for her, and always would be.