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"I think it’s going perfectly," Kathryn purred, her arms winding sinuously around Angelus’s neck. He turned his head to bare his fangs at her and she laughed, grabbing his hair and pulling his head back to seize his mouth in a passionate kiss. She slid around him, into his lap, her short black satin satin robe slipping open to reveal her creamy thighs.
"You have to talk to him again," Angelus replied, tilting her head back to reveal her white neck. The bite marks were easily visible. "You better cover those up." She sat up, annoyed, the top of the robe slipping open further to reveal the fact she wasn’t wearing anything beneath it. He laughed at her expression.
"I know what to do!" she snapped. "I’m not an idiot like Buffy." His eyes darkened and he gripped her chin.
"What did I say about Buffy?" he demanded. She glared at him; though she now possessed vampire strength as well, he was still much older, and much stronger than she was.
"I won’t insult your precious little Slayer anymore," she spat, her hazel eyes–the same as Buffy’s and so incredibly different–giving off sparks. Angelus smiled.
"Good. Now that that’s settled…we have time before we go get the boy," he informed her, tightening his grip. Kathryn’s expression changed to one of delight as he let her push him down on the bed. She straddled his thighs, grinning wickedly.
"Can I be on top this time?" she asked with a little girl voice.
"Wiggle a bit and we’ll see," he replied. Kathryn laughed and threw back her head and did just that.
*******************
"Angel, where are you going?" Drusilla asked with a pout as Angelus and Kathryn walked toward the door. Angel glanced at the vampire he had driven insane with slight annoyance and shook her off gently.
"Out. We’llbe back later. I’ll bring you something to eat, all right?" he asked. She frowned.
"But I want to come wit–Ooooh!" she exclaimed, interupting herself and faltering. She moaned and Angelus arched his eyebrows at Spike, who came up quickly, looking worried.
"Dru, what is it pet?" he asked softly. She didn’t look up.
"The air," she moaned. "It worries. Someone…an old enemy is seeking help…help to destroy our happy home. Ooooh!" Angelus threw Spike a look, but the blond vampire was busy helping Drusilla up. Angelus patted her head.
"Don’t worry about it Dru. Our happy home’s just getting bigger, that’s all. We’ll see you later." Drusilla looked up, hurt and confused and Kathryn smirked at her, following Angelus out the door.
*******************
"You don’t look so good," Kathryn murmured, twining her hand into Sebastien’s curls as she came up behind him. He looked up at her, his eyes dull, and managed a smile, the mirror of her own.
"I’m all right," he said. She laughed and he noticed she wasn’t wearing her cross. How odd, she always wore it. And now that she’d decided to go all out, it was even more surprising that it was missing. "Have you come here to toast your victory? I suppose that’s where you’ve been." Kathryn slid into the seat beside him.
"Yes, that’s where I’ve been. I’ve come to toast a different victory though." Sebastien frowned at the triumphant note in her voice.
"What are you babbling about Kathryn?" he asked in a bored tone.
"I don’t babble Sebastien. I think you’re confusing me with someone else," she replied sharply, earning an odd look. Why should Kathryn be angry with Buffy? Her cousin hadn’t done anything to her.
Oh God, Buffy. He had hated hurting her, even though it was no worse than what he’d done to other girls. Much better, come to think of it.
"Sorry sweet sister," Sebastien muttered. "Are you going to get to the point?" Kathryn laughed again, a silvery, sharp sound.
"Oh yes. Very soon. You see, Sebastien, I really have won this time. I’ve made you do precisely what I wanted you to. And now that you’ve broken her heart, it’s a bit late to tell her that you were mistaken, you do love her after all. Such a pity," Kathryn purred. Sebastien watched her, what she had just said sinking in. Was he wrong? Had he let Kathryn dupe him? Did he love Buffy after all?
He thought of her carefree, sweet smile, of the sunny blond of her hair. He thought of her cute, funny comments and the look on her face when he told her he didn’t love her. He thought of her eyes, innocent and yet knowing, kind and hurt and beautiful. Kathryn’s eyes, as they could have been, in another world, another life.
It all came back to Kathryn.
Sebastien leapt to his feet. "Where are you going?" Kathryn asked in a small, plaintive voice, laughter hidden in her tone. Her hand trailed at his. He ripped his away, though for a moment her fingers tightened and he was surprised at their strength.
"Stay away from me!" he snarled, running away, out of the club, out into the night. For just one moment he had glimpsed something, some kind of truth, and it had scared him as nothing ever had. He ran from it, from her, telling himself he had to find Buffy before it was too late. Kathryn sat alone, and laughed, and then stood to continue with her plans.
*******************
Buffy was putting on her jacket and gathering weapons in a bag when there was a knock on the door. She winced and threw the bag underneath her bed quickly, stripping off the jacket and throwing it onto the bed. "Come in." The door opened and Joyce entered, looking slightly concerned.
"Sebastien wanted you to have this," she said, glancing around the room. Buffy started at the name and felt a stab in her gut as the memories washed over her again. She stared at the small book and the letter. What was it?
"Thank you," she said softly. Joyce nodded and walked over to the leather jacket, sprawled across the foot of the bed.
"You should clean up your room," she scolded. Buffy nearly smiled, and nodded dutifully. Joyce gave her a look and a small sigh. "I’ll be downstairs if you need me." Buffy nodded again and waited until the door was closed and her mother’s footsteps faded away. She sat down on the bed and slowly reached for the letter. She picked it up and ever-so-gently ripped open the top. It was one page . . . the writing wasn’t even that long. But what it said . . .
She bit her lip as he said he was sorry. Tears began to well in her eyes when he said it was a mistake, he was sorry and he did love her. He did love her. And to try and prove the truth to her, to be totally and completely honest, he had given her his journal.
Buffy set aside the letter gently and opened the book. It was thick, and when she opened it, she had never been so shocked. Well, at first she wasn’t, there was writing about Kathryn, about how much he hated her and all the terrible things she had done. But also, there was writing about how much he wanted her. Buffy blinked in shock and turned the next page, and saw another girl’s name, and then another, and she kept turning and turning and saw all the girls. And at the end, there was her and Kathryn again, facing each other. There was Kathryn, looking sexy and cruel, and on the next page, was Buffy, from a polaroid, smiling and laughing. The words around her were different: Beautiful, innocent, honest, carefree. Buffy laughed bitterly at that one. If he only knew. Carefree indeed. But it was better than bitch, cruel, crack addict and the other things that surrounded Kathryn’s picture.
Rather than read what he had actually written about her, Buffy turned back to the first page, to where his actual journal was, what he had actually written. All these women, girls really . . . had he told them he loved them and then changed his mind the next day, just like that? Only one way to tell now. Only one way to know. For a moment, just a moment, Buffy hesitated, and then bent her head to read, forgetting Angelus, forgetting her destiny, needing only to know the truth.
*******************
When Buffy turned the last page, it took her a moment to realize it was over. That was all he had written. It seemed…right. Part of her believed him, believed that Kathryn had manipulated him and that he really did love her. She wanted to believe that, wanted to be loved. She wanted it not to be her fault.
Like she wanted Angel to be hers again, but that could never happen.
She rose and walked to the window, wiping futiley at the tears on her face, the first in days, even with all that had happened. She stopped, and stared, because he was there, standing there, watching for her so intently, his face a mask of agony and hope. She caught his eyes and saw so deep a remorse there that it almost hurt. Part of her wanted to run to him and smooth that away, tell him it was all right, of course she forgave him. Part of her was still back in the small dark place she’d gone when he hurt her. Part of her wondered if even he knew the truth, felt as though there was something in his journal, something she should understand, and just didn’t quite, as if it were just beyond her reach, and his. Part of her noticed that he was no longer alone.
Kathryn appeared out of the shadows, making Buffy’s eyes narrow. She looked gorgeous and slutty and everything Sebastien had described. But there was something more. She grabbed her stepbrother’s arm and for a moment his eyes broke from Buffy’s face. He said something short and angry to her and pulled away and Buffy frowned at what she saw in his eyes. Something…she had not imagined what she read in his journal. Even if he didn’t know it, there was more to this than Kathryn manipulating Sebastien, then Sebastien loving Buffy.
Kathryn held him firmly, her mouth curving in a mocking smile. Her green eyes lifted to meet identical, worried, confused ones watching from the window. And Kathryn smiled, and with one easy tug pulled Sebastien after her. Buffy’s frown deepened. His dark eyes lifted to meet hers and he cried her name . . . that she could just hear. He tried to pull away again but Kathryn wouldn’t release him. Whatever he had done, Buffy wasn’t about to let her callous bitch of a cousin pull him away when she needed to talk to him most. The Slayer swung a leg out of the window and stopped. Because another form had materialized out of the darkness.
All became horribly clear as Angelus caught her eyes, grinning evilly. He put a hand on Sebastien’s shoulder. The young man looked confused, and angry, and his eyes kept returning to Buffy’s. Angelus said something to Kathryn and as Sebastien’s eyes grew wider with horror, they took his arms and led him away. Buffy couldn’t move, frozen with terror. The three dissapeared into darkness and she was free again.
"Sebastien!" she cried, not caring who heard her. She swung the other leg out and jumped to the pine tree beside her window, shimmying down easily and then dropping to the ground. If Angelus killed Sebastien before she even had a chance to know what she felt, or what he did, truly…Buffy’s stomach clenched at the thought. No, she had to stop him. She had to stop him forever, not just from this one thing. She had to stop Angelus, and there was only one way to do that.
Buffy took off at a run.
*******************
"I just have one thing to do," Jenny Calendar said, her eyes intent on the computer screen. On the phone, Rupert Giles sighed.
"All right," he murmured. "Will I see you later?"
"I hope so," she replied, a little catch in her voice. She knew it was dangerous, what she was planning to do. She could almost see his frown.
"Jenny–"
"Don’t worry about it Rupert. I’ll see you. Good night," the teacher said quickly.
"Good night," Giles said, the frown still in his voice. She sighed and hung up the phone, then focused back on her work, sparing but a moment to glance at the orb that sat on the computer desk. Who knew how much time she had left?