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Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story, only the plot. If I did own them the would be happy in my own little world.
Author's Notes: This story is the next part in an unnamed series if you have any name suggestions please email me. To understand this story it would help to read An Angel's love, Telling Everyone, and Understanding, Forgiveness and Horror. I realize that some of the reactions are not really how they would react. Also I so not know correct medical terms or how this type of injury would really heal but it fits the story and I like it this way.
I sit on the hard hospital bench; my whole body feels numb. Angel is in the emergency room fighting for his newly regained life. Every time that I close my eyes I see him lying in the ground covered in blood. My mom had called Giles and the rest of the gang as soon as we got to the hospital. I have just gotten my Angel back; I don't want to lose him again. I can vaguely hear voices around me. I am so afraid that I will hear one of the voices say that Angel is dead. No, I can't think like that, Angel will live. If I lose him I will die. Xander and Willow walk over to me. I look up to them and I can see in their eyes that they are unsure if Angel will make it. "Buffy, is there anything that I can get for you?" Willow asked softly. "Make Angel live through this." "What happened?" Giles asks me. I'm surprised that they even ask; I thought that my mom would have told them. "I met Angel in the cemetery, mom came with me. I was late and Angel was worried, I could see that in his eyes. Some vampires came and attacked. He killed two and I killed two, then the last vampire had a gun." The tears I have been trying to hold back came spilling down my face. "Then what happened?" Giles asked. "You know how Angel is. He jumped in front of me so that I wouldn't get hurt. It should be me in there not him." My mom wraps her arms around me. I don't feel as safe as I do when I am with Angel. "Buffy, I am sure that Angel would rather it be him than you." Xander said in an attempt to make me feel better. "Xander, I don't think that that will make her feel any better." Giles said. "Sweetie, why don't you try and get some sleep." Mom suggested. "How am going to sleep knowing that Angel is in there because of me?" "Buffy, I know that he was trying to save you but how is him being in there your fault?" Xander asked. "I had a dream last night that Angel was staked when we were hunting vampires. I didn't tell him because I knew that he would say that it was just a dream. If I would have told him then maybe he would have stayed home tonight and we wouldn't be here worrying about him." "Buffy, you know that even if you told Angel about the dream he would not have listened." Giles was right as always but I know that it is my fault I can feel it in my heart; so I just change the subject to something no one can argue. "Giles, can you go see what is going on?" I asked him, tears flowing freely down my face. "Of course. I will be right back." He walks off to try and find someone to tell us what was going on in that room. We all sit in the waiting room, in silence, waiting for Giles to return. When he does I know immediately that it is not good news. "What did they say?" I try to prepare myself for the worst. "The doctor that I talked to said that the gunshots missed vital organs but he has some internal bleeding and they need to take him up to surgery. He has a 25% chance of surviving the surgery. If he survives that then he will taken up to the ICU for recovery." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Angel's chances were not good for making it through the operation. "So all his has to do is make it through the operation and then he will be ok, right?" I asked Giles in a shaky voice. "I don't know the answer to that Buffy. We just have to wait and see what happens." I feel like my whole world is collapsing down on top of me. Losing Angel is not an option; my heart will not let that happen. Everyone is deathly silent. "Buffy, why don't you try and rest. Angel wouldn't want you to make yourself sick from worry." My mom said. "I will try." I lay down on the hard cold bench realizing that she is right. Angel never wanted me to get hurt, that is why we was going to leave and that is why he jumped in front of me to save me. When I think of all the times that he has saved me I realize how much he has done for me. I pretend that I am lying in Angel's arms so that the nightmares stay away. My eyes feel so heavy that I soon fall asleep.
Suddenly I hear my mom calling my name, trying to wake me up. She shatters all my dreams that this reality was just a nightmare. "How long have I been asleep?" I ask my mom groggily. "A few hours." "Is Angel still in surgery?" I ask fearful that they will tell me that I have lost him forever. "The nurse came out a few minutes ago and was going to tell us what was going on, but she got called off." My mom answered. So many awful thoughts ran through my head, all I could think of was that the nurse had to go help Angel. Just then the doctor walked into the waiting area. My heart skipped a beat when I saw him. All I wanted was for Angel to wrap his arms around me and tell me it was ok but he can't do that right now. "Is Angel all right?" I ask the doctor afraid of his answer. I can see that the gang looks afraid too. The doctor pushes his glasses up his face and straightens the stethoscope that hangs around his neck before he answers me. "Angel suffered severe trauma to his upper body and had major internal bleeding." My whole body was paralyzed waiting for the answer to my question is he all right? After what seemed like forever the doctor continued. "Amazingly he has made it through the surgery and is in the ICU. I am not certain that he will make it through the night but if he does then his chances of surviving are greater." I feel wonderful knowing that my Angel should remain with me. "May I go see him?" I ask the wonderful doctor who has fixed my Angel. "I don't see why not but before you do I must warn you that he is hooked up to several machines and that there is a tube down his throat helping him to breathe. Are you sure that you want to see him like this?" "I am sure that I want to see him. Can you take me to him?" "Follow me." I walk with the doctor for what seems like a long time. My mom and the rest of the gang offered to come with me but I thought that it would be better to Angel myself. Finally we get to the room that the doctor told me is Angel's. "Thank you for showing me here and thanks for saving his life." "Your welcome. Page me if you need anything." The doctor walks away. I slowly open the door afraid of what I might see. I look at the hospital bed and I see my Angel lying there so many machines hooked up to him. He looks so weak and helpless. I have never seen him like this before; he is even paler than he was when he was a vampire. I can feel the tears falling down my face as I walk over to the bed. I sit down on the stool that is next to the bed. I raise my hand up to his face and wipe a piece of hair out of his closed eyes. If it weren't for the machines I would just think that he was sleeping peacefully. I take his hand and I rub my fingers along his, the way that he always does to me. "Angel, I hope that you can hear me. You have to live. I can't lose you now; not after everything that we have been through. I love you too much to lose you like this." Tears are falling down my face and on to his hand. My heart feels like it is about to break from not knowing if he is going to live or not. I know that Angel would rather it be him hurt than me but this waiting is killing me. I feel as if all my energy has been wiped out. "I never realized how much you mean to me Angel. Seeing you like this makes me realize that I need you more than words can say. I keep replaying in my head what happened and it doesn't make sense. You should have let me get shot because I heal faster than you do and then I wouldn't be here worrying about you. Please wake up. Open your eyes and let me know that you will be ok." I lay my head on his hand and cry on him. I can't believe that I don't have him to comfort me. I hear the door open and in walks the doctor. "Miss. I just wanted to let you know that he most likely will not wake up tonight so that you can go home and get some rest." "No I want to be here if he does wake up." "If you say so. I will be outside if you need me." The doctor left and in walks Giles. "Buffy, how is he?" Giles asked me. I walk over to him. "I don't know. I don't want to lose him." Giles looks uncomfortable but he gives me a father like hug. "Buffy, the spell should have left him with some of his vampire healing powers. Hopefully he will wake up tonight or in the morning." "Do you think that he will?" I ask Giles, aware that I sound like a little child. "I think that he will, especially if you are here talking to him." "Thanks, Giles." "I am going to go tell your mom and everyone that they can try and rest that you are ok." "Sounds good. I am going to talk to Angel. I just hope that he does wake up because I feel like I am talking to myself." Giles laughed and left. I sat back down next to Angel and thought about everything that we have been through. I thought about all the times he has saved me, our kisses in the graveyard and the night he lost his soul. I know that he still hurts thinking about the time that he lost his soul. "Angel, I want you to remember that I love you and I want you to forget everything that you did when you lost your soul. That wasn't you that hurt people. You are incapable of hurting people. Please try and let yourself be completely happy, no more brooding." I look down at his face and I wish that he would open his eyes so that I could see his beautiful brown eyes. I bring his hand up to my face and gently kiss it. I lay his hand back down and close my eyes wishing that one-day we would get married and everything. Suddenly I feel a hand gently caressing my face; my eyes fly open. I look at his face and his eyes are open. I feel like my heart is going to burst with joy. He looks like he is trying to talk and he has a confused look in his eyes. "Angel, I am going to get the doctor, don't try to talk. I love you." He tries to turn his head to follow me out of the room with his eyes but he can't with all the tubes he is attached to. I walk out of the room and my mom and everyone is around me. I can tell that they are all afraid that I left the room because he is going to die. "Where is the doctor?" I ask them breathlessly. "I'm right here, is something wrong?" the doctor asks, coming out of no where. "He is awake and trying to talk you have to get that thing out of his mouth." I tell them the words coming out in a hurry. Everyone rushes into Angel's room. They all look like I am crazy and that Angel being awake was all in my mind. I look over at him and his eyes are closed again. "I'm not crazy he was awake when I left." "Are you sure that you didn't fall asleep and dreamt it?" the doctor asks me gently. I walk over to Angel's bed and whisper in his ear that I love him and to wake up. His eyes open up again and my heart sours. "Told you." I say to everyone in the room. The doctor looks shocked. He walks over to Angel and takes the tube out of his mouth. Angel starts coughing uncontrollably. The doctor gets him some water and the coughing stops. Everyone leaves the room so that Angel and I are alone. "I can't believe that I almost lost you." I tell Angel softly. "You wouldn't have lost me. I told you that I would never leave unless you asked me too." "I was so afraid. Why did you jump in front of me?" Tears start falling again. "I couldn't let you get hurt. I saw the vampire with that gun and my heart stopped. I don't want anything to happen to you. I'm sorry that I frightened you. I love you." He brings his hand up to my face and wipes my tears away. "Do you hurt any where?" "Not really. I just feel like I was ran over by a truck but I will be fine." Angel replies a little smile on his face. "I am so sorry this is all my fault." I notice that Angel looks confused again. "How is this your fault Buffy? I don't remember seeing you with a gun." I smile even though my whole body is tired from worry. "I had a dream that you were staked and I didn't tell you because you would have said that it was just a dream but it wasn't just a dream. I almost lost you and if I would have told you then maybe we wouldn't be here." I tell Angel all of this very fast expecting him to hate me. "Buffy, this isn't your fault. Even if you would have told me you know that I would have went slaying with you anyway. I love you too much to let you go off and slay by yourself. If I wouldn't have went with you then you might be laying here in this bed and I couldn't handle that. I don't mind being here knowing that I was protecting you. Although I must say that gunshots hurt more when you are human." That last part got a smile out of me. "Thank you for saving me." I tell him, yawning as I do. He starts to laugh. "You look exhausted, lay down here with me and go to sleep." The idea of sleeping with him sounds wonderful but what if I hurt him. As if he had read my mind he says, "You will not hurt me, I promise." I want so badly to lie in his arms that I stand up and gently lay down beside him. "Are you sure that I am not hurting you?" I ask. "You would be hurting me more if you were still sitting on that stool." He smiles at me and closes his eyes. I realize that the real reason he wanted me to sleep was so that he could sleep too. I know that Angel will need lots of recovery time but right now all I can think of is how lucky I am to have him with me still. "I love you." I tell his sleeping self. Then I lay my head down on his shoulder and fall asleep. I can feel his arms around me and I feel so safe knowing that I will not lose him now.