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Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this poem or the situation. They belong to Joss Whedon, the WB, Fox, Mutant Enemy, etc.
Author's Notes: This is from Buffy's PoV after Becoming 2.
“Nothing else to lose”
I said.
How could I have been
That stupid?
Because I had everything to lose
Everything
And everything to gain
If things had been different.
I had Angel
Even if I didn’t know it
Even though I thought he was lost
Long ago.
He wasn’t.
I had Angel to lose
And I had myself
Because I was in his eyes
His mouth
His heart
And I lost him.
Did I lose myself?
I told him
I had me left
And it was true
Then.
And now?
When my name went into Hell on his lips?
When I watched my friends
And didn’t call out?
When I left my home
And I don’t know if I’ll ever go back?
Do I have myself?
Or am I all the things
I lost?
Everything.
I lost everything.
Or maybe not.
Because they’re all gone
Everything
Even him
But I’m here
Right?
I’m running
And I’m lost
Caught in a
Black hole
Where people used to be.
But I’m me.
Nothing to lose
But him.
But me.
And maybe,
Just maybe,
I didn’t lose everything
After all.