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Buffy sat on her bed for awhile after she hung up with Willow. She was in shock. Angel's soul was permanent. They could be together. No more temptation. No fear of Angelus returning.
But would Angel still want to be with her? Did he still want her to have a normal life? To have the kids and the white picket fence? Or would he finally submit to their love?
Buffy would just have to go ask him. She changed into some slaying clothes, grabbed a couple of stakes, and quietly left through her window.
She walked back to the park from the night before. She figured if she waited long enough, he would appear. So she sat down on a bench to wait for him.
Where do we go from here
Why do we stand in silence waiting for
The other to make a move?
yes, we do
An hour later, she sensed him in the park. He quietly walked over to her bench, and sat down. For a few minutes they sat in silence. Angel was the one to break it when he asked her, "How is he?"
Stirred out of her thoughts, Buffy slowly replied, "Oh… Riley. Well… He's staying in LA for the summer. We broke up."
"I'm sorry." Angel apologized.
Buffy shook her head. "No, it's okay. Riley and I weren't meant to be. He was a nice guy, but a little boring. At times he reminded me of Giles. And Giles is someone I wouldn't want to date." She smiled back at Angel.
Angel chuckled. "Don't tell Giles that."
"Oh, no. I would never tell him. I like Giles for who he is, I just don't want to date him." Buffy replied. "And plus, he had that annoying trait of Xander's- not wanting to let me fight for myself." Buffy grinned at Angel, remembering the previous night.
Angel laughed. "He didn't know what was going on. But Xander does. We can excuse Riley for his mistake."
"I guess." Buffy sighed. She turned to face him. "How have you been?"
"Fine."
"Ok. Let's not get too excited here!" Buffy exclaimed, teasingly.
"It's just that… I missed you. I know you have moved on. I'm glad. That's what I wanted you to do." Angel confessed.
Buffy smiled. "I missed you too. A lot in fact. And well, I'm free now. I found out, again, that normal relationships and me don't mix."
"You can make them work, Buffy. It just takes time." Angel pointed out.
"I don't have the luxury of time on my side.&nbps; Besides, slaying interrupts everything. I can't have a relationship with guys who don't know. And I don't want to tell them. I don't want to kill them." Buffy shot back.
Angel sighed. "Buffy…"
"Your soul is permanent." Buffy blurted out.
And how do I feel right now?
Stepping out of my private world into
Something that scares me so you know
Angel turned sharply to look at Buffy. Shock was clearly showing in his eyes. "Permanent?" He dared to ask.
Buffy nodded happily. Her eyes sparkled. She desperately wanted Angel to see this as a chance to get back together again. Angel hung his head in his hands, and closed his eyes for a moment.
"Since when? How? I don't get it." Angel looked up at her puzzled.
"Willow found out that Miss Calendar took out the clause. The spell that she performed on you had no happiness clause." Buffy explained.
Silence once again took over. The only sounds of life in the park were of Mother Nature. Buffy started worrying that Angel still didn't want to be with her. Why wasn't he happy? Wasn't this what he wanted? This had been the only thing stopping them before.
"We can make it work, Angel." Buffy whispered. Tears ran down her face, and she hastily wiped them away. She wanted it to work desperately. For months after he had left last summer, she had cried herself to sleep. At that time she had thought that Angel was the only one. When she met Riley and started going out with him, she thought she could do it. She could move on. But now, again, she realized that Angel was the only one. The two of them were meant to be together. They were the only ones for each other. If only he could realize it too.
It feels like I'm falling
Deeper into the unknown
I'm losing the fight to stay alone
And I'm falling
"But…" Angel started.
"But what, Angel? But what about the kids? Is that it? Well, I have come to the conclusion that we don't live in the best environment to raise kids. They would probably end up at the shrink." Buffy mimicked in a high pitched voice, "My mommy is a slayer. She kills vampires."
"As for the sunlight, I could care less. I have told you before, and I will tell you again. ALL I WANT IS YOU." Buffy said sternly.
Angel sighed. He turned Buffy's face towards him, and softly caressed her skin. He brushed away the remaining tears, and tucked some loose strands of hair behind her ear. "It's going to be hard."
"But we can do it. We've made it this far. We can do it again. Nothing can stop us. No clause, and certainly not Xander." That got a chuckle out of Angel. Buffy smiled.
"I never stopped loving you. I just wanted you to have another chance at a normal life." Angel confessed to Buffy. He carefully looked in her eyes to see her reaction.
"Well, I never stopped loving you, either. And I did have another chance at a normal life and I found out I don't want it. Not that it is normal…" Buffy mumbled then grinned. "But I can't change that. Not that I want to either. If my life were normal, I wouldn't have met you." She leaned over to Angel, and kissed him on the cheek.
Angel kissed back, and soon they were going at it as if they had never split up. In fact, it was pretty reminiscent of the times when Buffy had been on patrol before he had changed. Buffy held onto him desperately. They put their whole hearts and souls in it. The time away had made them hold onto each other tighter.&nsbp; They didn't want to lose each other again.
It was Buffy who pulled off. "I need to go back to the house. I don't want anyone checking up on me to see that I'm gone." Angel nodded. "When will I see you again?"
Angel thought a moment, then replied, "I'll come down to Sunnydale in a few days. There are a few things I need to tie up." Buffy smiled. She kissed him one last time, before leaping off the bench.
"I love you." Buffy waved, then jogged out of the park.
"I love you, too." Angel whispered. He looked around the park, wondering what he had just done. Was he crazy? He shook his head. No. He was in love, and was finally doing the right thing. They belonged to each other, and they were both in misery without each other. Who cared what other people thought? This was their life, not anyone else's! After all they had been through they deserved it.
Angel slowly stood up, looked to where Buffy had left, and smiled. She was the joy of his life. And now he had his soul for good. A phrase came to mind, 'Love is eternal.' It certainly was, love was eternal.&nsbp; He and Buffy could make it.
Maybe I don't want to know
Maybe I want to feel for you
Maybe I don't want to know
Maybe I want to feel for you
Maybe I don't want to know
Maybe I want to feel for you
Riley dropped Buffy off at her house the next morning. As they pulled up to her house, Buffy noticed Willow's car parked on the street. She smiled to herself. Willow must be curious to see how her meeting with Angel had gone.&nsbp; She just hoped that she hadn't said anything to her mother yet. But she was glad that Willow was there for that purpose. It was going to be hard to break it to her mother that she was back with Angel. She knew that her mother never liked Angel, even after she had explained that he had his soul again.
Buffy waved to Riley as he pulled away from her house. Although she was a little sad about the break up, she knew it had been bound to happen. She shifted her duffel bag on her shoulder, and walked up to the front door. Apparently, Willow was anxiously waiting Buffy's return, for she opened the door right when Buffy stepped up to it.
"Buffy!" Willow exclaimed.
"Willow!" Buffy teasingly exclaimed back. They hugged.
"How did it go?" Willow whispered, not wanting Buffy's mom to overhear.
Buffy shook her head. "I'll tell you guys at the same time. My mom needs to know." Willow nodded. She stood back to let her into the house. Buffy's mom walked out of the kitchen.
"Buffy! How was your weekend?" She asked, wiping her hands on a towel.
"Fine." Buffy answered, dumping her bag on the floor. Her mom's eyebrows arched in question. "Fine? That's it?"
"Mom, Willow, sit down. We need to talk." Her mom looked at her puzzled, but did as she was asked.
Once seated, Buffy just came out with it, "Riley and I broke up." Joyce's jaw dropped a little. "Why? What was wrong with him?" Inwardly, she was cringing at her words. She knew her daughter didn't like how she wanted her to have a good, human boyfriend. Anyone was better than Angel, in her opinion. She had liked Riley, too.
"He reminded me too much of Giles." Buffy answered, wanting to start slowly with the explanations. She knew it was a pitiful excuse, but she couldn't just come out with 'I still love Angel!'
Willow choked on her tea that she had been sipping. Her eyes bulged at Buffy. Buffy had never mentioned this to her. Reminded her of Giles? Well yes, he was bookish, but he wasn't Giles entirely. And what about Angel?
"That's it?" Joyce asked again. "That's not much of an excuse. Riley was a nice guy."
"Sure, he was a nice guy. But he also took me to a park Saturday night, and when vampires appeared, he wouldn't listen to me and leave. I realized that I couldn't protect him forever. The whole year, I was always worried about his safety. And I worried about how he would react if he had found out about me. I don't want that anymore." Buffy took a deep breath and looked at her mom and Willow. Willow was smiling. She knew what she was about to say. Her mom was shocked. Well, shocked is a harsh term compared to the shock when she had found out the Buffy was a Slayer.
"Angel appeared that night at the park, and he helped me with the vampires." Joyce's expression of shock quickly turned to anger. "I finally realized that I can't live a normal life. I can't have a normal boyfriend. Angel and I were meant to be together. We talked the next night and he is coming back to Sunnydale. We're getting back together." Buffy sighed. There, she'd let it all out. Her mom now knew about Angel.
Joyce blew up. "Why are you doing this, Buffy? Why? He is not good enough for you! I can't believe this! You deserve better!"
Buffy wasn't happy to hear her mother like this, but she wasn't about to let her stop her from seeing Angel. "You want to know why?! Well, it's because I love him! As I told him, I don't want kids. I don't exactly live in an ideal situation to raise kids. They would probably end messed up! And I know you try to ignore it, but I can't. I'm a slayer. Slayers don't live long. I'm not about to desert my kids. Face it, Mom. I'm going to die. I'm not going to live to a ripe old age. I want to live my life right now the way I want to, and I want to live with Angel."
"I will not allow you to!" Joyce yelled at Buffy.
Buffy was seething by now. "What's to say that you can? I'm nineteen. I can live my life however I want to. You can't stop me."
"Stop it! Stop it now, both of you!" Willow screamed over Buffy and Joyce. Both of them quieted down and looked over at Willow.
Willow turned to look Joyce in the face. "Ms. Summers, I know you may not think this is my place to interfere, but I feel the need to explain Buffy's situation."
Joyce calmed down, but her voice was curt, "What needs to be explained? Buffy deserves better."
Willow shook her head, and looked her straight in the eye. "You don't understand them. But more importantly you don't understand Buffy." Joyce looked at her, upset. "You may know now that she is the Slayer, but you still don't know what she feels, deals with everyday, and how she lives. Buffy was called to her destiny at a young age; at the age when she shouldn't have to deal with vampires and demons. And at a time when you weren't there to support her."
Joyce looked at her puzzled. "I know that you and Buffy's father were having a hard time." Willow answered Joyce's questioning look.
"You try to understand what Buffy is going through, but neither you nor anyone of us will ever be able to understand how she felt at that time, or any time since. She has been alone in this for four years. Yes, she has had friends to help her, but it's not the same. We can't help her fight. We will never feel the pressure, the pain, or the heartbreak. She has accepted her destiny, the one that was thrown at her. She has accepted the early death and all that comes with that package. That she will never be able to marry, have a family, and grow old, she has accepted. But you have not. You think she can do it, but she can't."
Willow paused and looked over at Buffy whose eyes were threatening to spill tears. She nodded at Willow and weakly smiled, showing her that she appreciated what she was doing. "As for Angel, he has been the only one to understand her. He may not be the slayer, but he too was thrown a life that he did not deserve or want. He understands the pressure, pain and heartbreak. Angel was there to help Buffy those couple of years. In each other, they found a friend and a soulmate; someone to help each other in their battles, and to give a shoulder to lay on. They comfort each other in a way that no one else can. Most importantly they found someone to love. Their love is so deep and true that you nor anybody else can understand."
Willow took a deep breath before continuing. She didn't know how she was going to take it. Of course, she was unsure how Joyce felt about what she had said so far. "Ms. Summers, whether you like it or not, Angel is the reason why Buffy is still alive. He can protect her unlike you or I, and he will do anything for her."
"Angel may be a vampire and older than her, but that is where the differences end. He may not be able to walk in the sun or give her children, but he can give her companionship, love, and understanding. He gives her the life that we cannot; a life of happiness in the middle of darkness." Willow finished her speech and glanced briefly at Buffy and her mother. Tears had come to both sets of eyes.
"I'm sorry." Joyce softly whispered toward Buffy. "I do try to understand you, but I can't. I thought it was for the best. I told Angel to leave." Buffy looked up at her mom sharply. "But I regret it now." Joyce quickly replied to the stare. "Even though I was happy you had Riley, I noticed, although I tried to push it out of my mind, I noticed that you were never happy. You were always a little sad. I guess I pushed you too much into a life that you didn't want. It's just that… I just never understood. I guess Willow is right. Angel is the right one for you. I'm glad he can give you everything I cannot. And I'm glad that he can protect you. I've always wanted, needed to protect my baby. But this last year, I have found that I couldn't."
Joyce looked up at Buffy with a somber face, "Please forgive me. For splitting you two up, and for not being the best mother." Her eyes pleaded with Buffy.
Buffy tears soon multiplied as she went over to her mother on the other couch, and hugged her. "It's okay. I'm sorry, too." Joyce nodded, and carefully cradled Buffy's head in her lap. She gently brushed hair off of Buffy's face, and kissed her on her forehead. "I love you sweetheart. I don't want to lose you."
"Neither do I." A muffled sob came from Buffy.
Willow smiled at the two. She quietly stood up, picked up her things and left the house. She wanted to give them some time alone. They needed to get everything out in the open and fix their problems. And she knew they would this time.
Buffy visited Giles that afternoon. He asked her how her weekend went, and she proceeded to tell him the story. Luckily, he was more understanding than her mom had been in the beginning. He had since accepted Angel after he had come back. He also knew it was for Buffy's happiness and wellbeing.
Xander on the other hand, was a little miffed to say the least when he heard the news. But amazingly, he too accepted Angel's return. He knew, as well, that it was for Buffy's happiness. He gave her his blessing, if you could call it that. It was more of mild acceptance. After Riley had shown up on the scene, he had finally given up his chase of Buffy and accepted their friendship as all it would be.
Oz was fine since Willow was fine with it. That's all there is to say about his reaction. He knew Willow had always wanted her best friend to be happy, and for her relationship with Angel to work.
So everything was set up for Angel's return to Sunnydale. Everyone was happy or at least, accepting of the situation.
Except for maybe some of the vampires, but they don't count.
Falling deeper into the unknown
I'm losing the fight to stay alone
And I'm falling
Falling for you