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1860
“What do you think?” Alyssa asked, twirling around. Emily made a little
sound. Alyssa stopped. “What is it? Does it not look right?”
“Oh no! It looks incredible! I just wish . . . I wish I looked like that!” Alyssa laughed softly.
“You are beautiful, and I would die for your hair! But truly, do you like the dress?” Alyssa asked.
“It is incredible! And it matches your eyes perfectly. Wherever did you get it?” Emily asked. Alyssa stilled and went quiet.
“Stephan bought it for me,” she said softly.
“Oh,” Emily said, then tried to change the subject. “I think you ought to get some flowers from your hair. Do you have any roses in the garden?”
“I’m not su—” Alyssa began, but was interrupted by Bridget’s entrance with a box.
“The master said to deliver these to you mum,” she said, bobbing a curtsey. Alyssa took the long box and opened it to reveal several long stemmed red roses and a few small buds perfect for hair.
“They’re lovely! And absolutely perfect!” Emily cried. She took one of the rosebuds and tucked it into Alyssa’s elaborate hair-do. “Perfect!” she pronounced. Alyssa nodded absently, more interested in the card. Why had Stephan sent her flowers? He was angry with her, wasn’t he? She opened the card and unfolded it carefully.
I’m sorry for the last weeks, it said. I hope you have a lovely time tonight. It was signed with his name. Alyssa smiled tremulously, happier than she would have thought possible at the knowledge that he had forgiven her.
“There!” Emily pronounced. “You look like a dream come true!” Alyssa smiled at her friend.
“I’d better go and make sure everything is ready. And thank Stephan for these. It really is lovely of him to send them,” Alyssa said.
“Yes, it’s very sweet. I thought he was angry with you?” Emily inquired.
“He was. He said he was sorry. It makes me feel better about having this ball tonight. If Stephan understands than it must be all right,” Alyssa told herself firmly.
“Of course it is! No, come on, we must make last minute preparations!” Emily said.
“What last minute preparations? You are a silly goose Emily Lord,” Alyssa said, laughing softly. They left her bedroom together and went down the spiral staircase.
“Edward!” Alyssa called to the butler. He stopped and turned to her, bowing slightly.
“Yes, madam?” he asked.
“Is everything ready?” she asked.
“Yes madam,” he said.
“Where is Mr. Murdock?”
“I have not seen him for some time madam, but I daresay he is around somewhere,” Edward said. Alyssa smiled at him, trying to control the leap of fear. Of course he was there. Where else would he be?
“I’m sure he is. Thank you Edward,” she said. He bowed and went on his way.
“I’ll go and see if Stephan is outside, arranging for all the carriages,” Alyssa said quickly. Emily nodded.
“Should I check upstairs?” she asked.
“Yes, thank you,” Alyssa said with a sigh of relief. Emily started off but Alyssa caught her arm. “If . . . If something is wrong, will you take care of the party until I get back?”
“Of course, but I’m sure everything is fine,” Emily said.
“Of course. Just in case. Thank you Em,” Alyssa said. Emily smiled at her and started back up the stairs. Alyssa turned and began outside. An avenue had been cleared for the carriages that would soon be arriving. Alyssa spotted their head driver and called to him.
“Have you seen Mr. Murdock?” she asked.
“ ‘e took a carriage out about a ‘alf an ‘our ago, mum. It just arrived back, but I don’t think ‘e was in it,” the man replied. Alyssa felt a chill go through her.
“Where is the carriage and the driver?” she asked.
“Around back, mum,” he said, looking concerned.
“Thank you,” she said quickly, then half ran around the back of the house to the small carriage house. She went quickly inside and found a young man getting out of the driver’s seat of one of the carriages.
“Where did you take Mr. Murdock?” she demanded. He blinked in suprise at seeing her there and at her question.
“L-lord Wellington’s,” he replied. Alyssa drew in a breath. She had known from the moment Edward said he hadn’t seen Stephan. She had know. Why couldn’t she had been wrong?
“Take me there,” she said quickly, climbing into the back of the carriage. The young man looked extremely startled but picked up the reins. “Quickly,” she said. He nodded and hurried out of the carriage house and onto the streets. Alyssa mentally screamed at him to go faster. She had to get there in time . . . had to stop Stephan. Why had he gone? Why would he be that desperate?
The answer came easily; because it was her job and she wasn’t doing it. He knew she wouldn’t—she was too selfish and stupid—and so he was risking her life to do her job. And if she couldn’t stop him, he would die, and that wouldn’t help anyone. He wasn’t good enough to fight even one of them, much less all three and their minions. She had to get there in time to save him.
Alyssa jumped out of the carriage the moment it stopped. She hesitated for a second before calling to the driver that he should go back to the house. It would be easier to have him stay, but he would be at risk and the last thing she was going to do was risk another person’s life for her own sake. He looked unhappy, but went as told. Alyssa ran up the large stairs into the big, dark house, clutching one of her stakes tightly.
She saw the first one before it saw her. It looked predatory, obviously not knowing who she was. Alyssa smiled sweetly at it and staked it before it could make a sound. It vanished into a pile of dust and Alyssa walked past, lifting her skirt above the vampire remains.
The hallways was half-lit and smoky. Alyssa smothered a cough and kept going, checking every door. She didn’t see and more vampires. And then she found the ballroom.
She was too late. Almost.
“Oh God!” she cried, wanting to look away but unable to move. It was her fault . . .she could have saved him. She should have saved him.
“Ah, you’re here. We had begun to despair,” Angelus said, stepping out from behind Stephan.
“I was running a bit late,” she replied automatically, a part of her suprised she still had a voice.
“Alyssa,” a voice rasped. She looked at him; began to cry. How could he still speak? “Behind you.” She turned—William was there.
“Good evening love,” he said, giving her a mock bow.
“Hello William. If you call me that again I will rip off your favorite part and stuff it down little Drusilla’s throat—I’m sure it’s been there before,” Alyssa said acidly, shocking even herself.
“No, I’m afraid you won’t do that. Because anything you do to my friends I do to your Watcher-boy here. And I’m sure he wouldn’t like that a bit, would you Stephan?” Alyssa turned halfway to see Stephan while keeping an eye on William.
“Stephan I—” she began, but he cut her off.
“I don’t matter. Do what needs to be done. But, Alyssa—I must tell you—”
“Time’s up. Well, go ahead Miss Richards. Be a good little Slayer and do as your Watcher says. Actually, I’m rather glad he said that. I want to hear him scream,” Angelus purred. Alyssa stood frozen, caught between trying to save Stephan and trying to kill vampires.
“What’s wrong love?” William asked behind her. “Undecided?” That did it. Alyssa began to turn, grabbing a stake. And then she heard the words.
“I love you Alyssa,” he rasped. Alyssa’s heart broke into a thousand pieces and reformed knowing something it hadn’t before. She loved him too.
“Stephan! I love you!” Alyssa cried, turning back, William forgotten. Everything forgotten except the man she loved.
“How very sweet,” Angelus said mockingly. “Too bad you’re both going to die.” He reached forward and tightened one hand around Stephan’s neck, the face that had haunted Alyssa’s dreams so many times changing to the one that fed her nightmares.
“No!” Alyssa screamed, starting towards them as Angelus bent his head to Stephan’s neck. At the same time Stephan’s eyes moved past Alyssa and he took screamed—only it was a warning this time.
“Behind you!” he screamed. Alyssa turned, and somehow her reflexes managed to fend off William’s attack. But it didn’t do any good. Because at that moment Angelus had released the Watcher—he was only second best, after all—and brought down his first Slayer. He turned her in time to see Drusilla drain the blood from Stephan before he slit her throat.
When he was done eating he dropped her body to the floor and turned to Drusilla, who was clapping her hands with delight.
“Shall we dance, my dear?” he asked. Dru came to him at once, and joining hands they waltzed across the floor, stepping fastidiously over the dead bodies.
<“Angel!” she cried, reaching out to him.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I am so sorry.” She shook her head, trying to reach him but being pulled away by some force she could not see.
“It doesn’t matter. When will I see you again?”
“In the next life we will be together,” he promised, and then there was a wrench and even his soul was gone. But he was right, they would meet again, even if it wasn’t for a hundred and thirty seven years.>
1998
“Mom, would it be all right if I took a quick walk?” Buffy called into the
kitchen. “I’ll be back soon.”
“If you need to, go ahead,” Joyce said. Buffy called her thanks and grabbed a cardigan on the way out the door. She’d just gotten home a few hours ago, and Willow, Giles and Oz had just left. She wasn’t even unpacked. But there was something she needed to do.
It was dusk, just after sunset, when all the colors had faded and everything was a sort of blue-gray. She shivered and wrapped her arms around herself, even though it wasn’t cold. Giles told her what had happened to that poor girl . . . It was too horrible to think about. At least, if she added in the fact that it was Angel that had done it. Well, not Angel. Angelus. And that brought her thoughts to something even worse.
Angel hadn’t come with her.
She could understand his reasons. She would probably have made the same choice, but somehow logic wasn’t helping. Somehow she felt like he hadn’t come because deep inside he couldn’t forgive her, didn’t want to be with her after all.
Stop it, she told herself. You know that’s not true! And she did know it. He had forgiven her. He just couldn’t come back to Sunnydale. Not yet. Not even to be with her.
But that wasn’t what this walk was about. Which she remembered abruptly as she approached a house she hadn’t seen in a long time. She hesitated a second before turning up the walk. She could stop now. She could go home. Maybe it would be easier that way. But Buffy wasn’t really one to take the easy way out. She went up to the door and knocked on it.
He looked just like he always did when he answered the door. Of course he did; Xander would never change.
“What do you want?” he asked when he saw who it was.
“To talk,” she said.
“Why should I talk to you?” he asked, beginning to close the door in her face. “You wouldn’t talk to me.” She put her hand out and stopped the door cold, not budging no matter how hard he pushed.
“Two reasons,” she said. “One, you’re never going to be able to close the door if I don’t want you to, and Two, you were in the wrong in the first place and, yes, I might have overreacted—might have—but it was *your* bad and you owe me a little time at least.”
“All right,” Xander said grudgingly, opening the door again. Buffy took a deep breath.
“Okay, I want you to know how hard it is for me to say this, and if you won’t do your part, I want you to know that everything I’m about to say will be void, but here goes. I’m sorry. It wasn’t right for you to lie to me, and it wasn’t okay, but I’m sure you had your reasons—I’m sure you even thought they were good reasons—and . . . and it probably wouldn’t have made much difference anyway. I’ve thought about it, and I tried very hard to keep Angel—Angelus—from pulling that sword out of Acathla. I doubt it would have helped me to know that he might be changed back. In fact, if I couldn’t stop him, I would probably feel guiltier. So I’m sorry I said all those horrible things to you and I hope you’ll forgive me and . . . and be friends again. Your turn,” Buffy said.
“I’m sorry too,” Xander said quietly. “And I’m not good at apologies. I was trying to help. I didn’t think it would turn out like this. I thought you would just kill him and it would be over and you could get on with your life. I didn’t think . . . I’m sorry.”
“You should have thought, Xander, but I can forgive that. I know you were doing what you thought was best. It was just . . . it hurt so much, and when I found out that one of the people I count on most had . . . it was really hard. That’s why I got so mad,” Buffy explained.
“I understand. How did you . . . What made you come around?”
“I thought about what Angel would say, what he would do, and the only thing I could think was that he would forgive you and if he could how could I not? And you’re on of my best friends. I don’t have that many people that I really care about . . . that know my secrets and are really dedicated to helping. I need that. I need you. When I got home today and you weren’t there with Willow and Giles it just felt . . . wrong. You’re part of us, and I didn’t want to feel that something was missing forever because of something none of us can change. It happened and it’s over now, and my future is here. I need you for that Xander,” Buffy said, tears springing to her eyes.
“I need you too Buffy,” Xander said. She stepped forward and he hugged her tightly. After a minute he pulled away and smiled. “After all, who else can deck me in under thirty seconds?” Buffy smiled and hugged him quickly, then glanced up.
“I have to go, I told my mom I was only going on a short walk. I’ll see you though,” she said.
“Definitely,” Xander assured her. Buffy smiled and squeezed his hand, then turned and walked towards home.
“Hell,” he told her. She made a little sound.
“But in life—”
“I told you, my scars are on my soul,” he said.
“But they are only scars? Or will be at least. They will heal?” she asked, a
pleading note in her voice.
“Yes. They will heal. Around you, anything would heal,” he said, caressing
her cheek.
“We are together again,” she said softly.
“Yes. I told you we would be.”
“But you wouldn’t come home,” she said.
“Just wait. I will come. We will be together. I promise. It is time. We
deserve a little happiness. Buffy.”
“My True Name,” she whispered. “I have waited for so long.”
“Your True Name. And your True Form. Do you think there is a reason they
come in the lifetimes of most pain?” he asked.
“The most strength as well, I think,” Buffy said softly. “Do you think,
after all this, we will have a normal life, as normal people? I could have a
job, and we could have children and grandchildren and a fiftieth
anniversary. Do you think it will be allowed?”
“You are a Slayer,” he pointed out.
“For so many lifetimes I have lost count,” she agreed. “Does not that
deserve reward?”
“Yes,” he breathed. “Yes, it does. And I think we will have it. Together.
But for now we take what we can.”
“As long as I’m with you, anything is wonderful,” she said.
“I know the feeling,” he replied, and kissed her deeply. She put her arms
around his neck and kissed him back, and there was only joy for once in
their kiss. After a moment he drew away.
“Go back now. I will see you there. And here, someday, and in our next
life,” Angel said softly.
“Must I go?” she murmured. He nodded. “I love you,” she whispered, kissed
him again, and then began to drew away. Before they were even apart they
both faded away and were gone.>
Buffy murmured something and moved, stretching softly. She opened her eyes
and suddenly sat up, grabbing a the stake she kept on her bedside table.
There was someone—or something—at the window. And then he moved and the
light of the moon feel across her face and she knew. Joy burst over her like
sunshine after a storm. She ran to the window and threw it open, kissing him
before he had a chance to say anything. He kissed her back, deeply and
hungrily. Finally she drew away to catch her breath, but only a little.
“You came,” she whispered, a laugh of joy in her voice and her words.
“I came. I realized that living without you was not living at all. It was
living without color, without sunlight.” She opened her mouth to speak, to
protest that he had lived without sunlight for many years. He silenced her
with a finger to her lips and kept talking. “You are my sunlight,” he said.
“I love you Angel,” she whispered. “Forever.”
“Forever. I love you,” he whispered as his mouth brushed hers. And they
kissed there, in the light of the moon, not caring about what had come
before or what would come after, only that they were together and would
always be so, no matter what distance separated them. Through all the times,
through all the lives. Forever.
Okay, so only Stephan is actually mine...but I couldn't very well have said
that at the beginning could I? it would take away all the fun of recognizing
familiar characters! E-mail me and tell what you think!