Part 13

Things were never the same after Buffy's death.  All who knew her stopped getting together as much, completely ceased all the late-night research sessions they had held simply to help out their Slayer.  Stefanie could feel the ropes that held them all together loosening, but she was never given any reason to fret over it.

Then, one night, Cordelia invited everyone out to dinner without warning, taking them all to a chinese restaurant, even though she (and she presumed, Angel) would have no need or desire for the food.  At first, she merely engaged them all in idle conversation, then dropped the bombshell.

Cordelia leaned forward, crossing her arms over the table.  "There's actually a reason why I called you all here," she said, her tone bordering on the serious.  "I've been thinking a lot the past few days.  Ever since my parents moved away, I've barely kept in touch with them, and even ceased contact altogether around the time I was changed...  Buffy and you guys were basically the only things that were holding me here.  And now..." Cordelia paused, building her courage.  "The point is, I brought you guys here so I could say goodbye."

Cordelia went on quickly, not giving anyone a chance to demand why.  "I've made the decision to leave Sunnydale, maybe take up the vampire hunting crusade elsewhere," she added solemnly.  "I thought maybe I'd start in Europe, and go from there."  She bit her lip, looking around at the shocked faces of her friends.

It was Willow who spoke first.  "When... when will you be coming back?" she asked, a note of fear in her voice.

Cordelia paused.  "I don't plan on returning," she added.  "Or if I ever do go that way, it won't be in this lifetime... All that's happened... the earthquake, Sunnydale's being rebuilt from scratch, losing Buffy... Staying here, I feel, would never truly allow the wounds in me to heal.  There would always be something to cause them hurting all over again.  That's why I need to get away.  I need to gain some distance from this town in order to deal with it all."  She paused again.  "Otherwise, I'll go more crazy than I already have over this."

Angel leaned forward.  "You don't think it might help to talk to us about it?" he asked gently.  "We all suffered through it, Cordy, so..."

Cordelia's eyes briefly flared with anger.  "Yeah, but it's not your fault Buffy died, is it?!" she blurted out.  A pause, then, "I wish to God that I had just defied her wishes, and stayed in the cavern with her that night!  I could have saved her!  My staying there could have made all the difference!"

"You don't know that," Stefanie replied numbly.  "On the other hand... you could have died right along with her... It's not your fault."

Cordelia shook her head.  "Well, I guess we'll never know, will we?" she responded bitterly.  "We're stuck here, and we can't change a damn thing in the past!" Cordelia remained silent as the waiter arrived with their check, then added, "And my decision to leave can't be altered either.  I've already made up my mind, and I'll be departing by boat two nights from now."

The rest of them merely remained silent, although none of them could blame Cordelia for feeling the way she did.  It was a common thought shared among the group, and it was only a matter of time before it drove one or more of them away.

Stefanie and Angel arrived at the docks in time to see Cordelia off on her journey.  They both wished her well, expressing out loud the hope that they would get a chance to see her again someday. Then, the conceited Slayerette, once such a vital part of their lives, was gone just like that...

***

Less than two months later, Stefanie's graduation from Sunnydale High took place (she and all the other surviving students had been given their assignments to do at home due to the school's destruction).  She was never more proud as she was at moment, excepting the instant she had first held Risa in her arms.  However, it was soon followed by another sad event.

Giles and Jenny expressed their desire to leave town two days after the ceremony.  Giles had offered by way of explanation that it was time he returned to the place where he had grown up and that he had been thinking of doing so since his decision to retire.  However, Stefanie knew that his sorrow over losing his Slayer played a big part in it.

Stefanie accompanied them to the airport to see them off, waiting with them in the terminal in silence for the longest time.  Then, at last, she said, "I wish you guys weren't leaving."

Jenny turned to look at her, as Giles had gone off to buy some refreshments.  The elder woman fought back a few tears, reaching over to stroke Stefanie's hair.  "It's better this way," she said.  "Giles needs to get away for much the same reason Cordelia did... Because there's too much of Buffy in Sunnydale.  He keeps having memories of her triggered by almost every place he goes."  Jenny bowed her head.  "And me... I think getting away might help alleviate some of the guilt I feel."

Stefanie looked up in surprise, then moved to place her sleepy daughter in her stoller.  "What do you mean?  You weren't even there when Buffy died.  You couldn't have..."

"Maybe I wasn't there, but I all but wished for this to happen."  Jenny paused, then looked up at Stefanie.  "That conversation we had about Giles, how I said I would like a few years with him to myself... God, I didn't mean I wanted Buffy to die to achieve that!"

Stefanie bit her lip, feeling a lump in her throat.  "Jenny, you didn't know.  No one can blame you for that."

Jenny shook her head, her eyes haunted.  "That doesn't help any.  Not after the nightmares I've been having."  A pause, then, "They're always the same.  Every so often, I'll dream that Buffy is blaming me for what happened to her, or that Giles is leaving me for the same reason."  She looked away briefly.  "It's just too much to deal with right now, Steffi."

Just then, Giles returned with three soft drinks, nachos, and a hot dog, putting an end to the conversation between the two women.  A half hour later, after some time spent in more idle chatter, his and Jenny's flight number was announced.  Stefanie walked them to the gate, hugging both goodbye.  As a parting remark, Giles promised to keep in touch.  Then, he and Jenny walked down the terminal gate to the plane and soon disappeared from Stefanie's sight forever.

A few more weeks passed quietly, uneventfully, and it seemed to Stefanie that there would be no more upheavals in her life.  But, she was quickly proved wrong, when, in the dead of night, Angel came to see her at her new pad (her rent being supplied by Giles until she got on her feet), with an earful of news for her, and the decision he had come to regarding his future and Ivory's...

Part 14
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