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Disclaimer: All BtVS character belong to Joss Whedon, the WB, Fox, and Mutant Enemies. Not me.
Part 1
'What are they trying now?' I thought to myself as Michael's long, manicured fingers reached into my cage.
"Come here, Amy," Michael said soothingly. In response I forced the little rat body forward. He scooped me up and the world whirled suddenly as he set me down on a nice, warm blanket. I looked around quickly assessing what was happening. Willow sat across from me holding a blue candle tightly in her hands. Michael sat down next to her as he picked up a second candle. They stared at the white wicks of the candle. Suddenly a burst of light surrounded the candles and the wicks were lit.
'Well that's an interesting effect. I wonder what's going on,' I thought. The rat quickly tried to run from the fire, but I pressed all of my will against the rat's instincts forcing it to hold still. 'I hate this stupid rat. It's so stupid.'
"Antu harotu gesama, antu harotu gesama," Willow chanted.
"Sodo anivo gesama, sodo anivo gesama," Michael said softly.
I sat silently watching them. After both of them had repeated their mantras several times they stopped at the exact same moment.
"Hecate withdraw," they said simultaneously, and then they blew out their candles. I screeched in shock. My little rat body was wracked with terror and pain. I felt myself being hoisted into the air. I fell back to the floor with a crash as the spell faded.
"Oops," Willow said.
"Wow," Michael said.
"Ow," I mumbled. "Hey, I can talk!" I looked at the two of them. They were staring at me. "What?"
"Umm... I think we messed something up," Willow said, averting her eyes.
"No doubt about it. We totally screwed up," Michael said. He was staring.
"I feel kind of different. What did you two do to me?" I asked. "I'm also kind of cold here."
"Here," Willow said as she offered me a blanket. She averted her eyes once more. I wrapped the blanket tightly around myself without taking my eyes off the pair. For the first time in months I was standing at eye level with them on my own two legs. Michael was still staring at me while Willow was blushing bright red.
"A mirror. I kind of need to know what Michael is staring at. I'm about to be horrified aren't I?" I said to them.
"I think I'm going to die," Willow said softly as she moved the mirror on her closet door so I could see myself. "I am going to die right now." I looked at the visage staring back at me in the mirror.
He was handsome. He had dyed black hair and his wide eyes stared in shock at me. He was handsome in a sort of strange way. And he was rather slim.
"You made me into a guy?!" I sputtered loudly.
"I'm going to die," Willow repeated.
"Wow," Michael repeated. He was still staring.
"Could you stop staring," I said to him.
"I'm going to die," Willow continued forlornly.
"No you are not. You are going to fix this," I said snapping her out of her cycle.
"And since Amy is able to help it won't take nearly as long," Michael put in.
"I don't have anything that could deal with this," Willow said recovering. "We'll need to find someone who knows a lot more than any of us."
"You mean I'm going to be stuck like this?" I asked in horror.
"Just for a little while," Willow replied, more than just a little bit of guilt slipping into her voice.
"Besides, you look cute as a guy," Michael said slapping my ass after the statement. Willow was brought out of her guilt with a quick smile. I glared at him. He grinned.
"Keep your hands to yourself," I hissed at him.
"Come on, let's go see if Giles can help," Willow said, leaving the door open behind her as se strode out. I followed her with Michael coming after me.
"One thing," Michael said, "You have to do something about that walk."
"Two things actually. Willow, I need real clothes," I said.
"Oh, right. Too bad you're too big to wear Michael's stuff," Willow said.
"She could probably fit into some of Giles's stuff," Michael provided helpfully. I glared at him.
"I wouldn't make anyone wear Giles's stuff. Angel's stuff might be a little big, but that's better than too small," Willow said.
"But Angel's in L.A. remember Will?" Michael said.
"When did Angel go to L.A.?" I asked. I was confused.
"While you were a rat. He left some stuff in his old apartment, and Buffy moved it into the mansion," Willow replied.
"Umm... how are we getting there?" I asked.
"I'll call Oz," Willow said as she picked up the phone.
"What else happened while I was a rat? I only know what happened in Willow's room," I said to Michael.
"Well it turned out the mayor was a big snake thing and he tried to eat the graduating class," Michael said matter-of-factly.
"Oh, is that all?" I replied sarcastically.
"And Cordelia and Angel moved to L.A.," he continued.
"You just love telling me these things little by little don't you?" I replied.
"Of course." He grinned impishly.
"When the mayor became a big snake how many people did he get?"
"Well, he only managed to kill a dozen people. The entire senior class became a formidable fighting force allowing most of them to stay alive. And Buffy burned the school library down."
"Well, at least we didn't have to make a volcano emerge beneath the school like they had to the last time one of those things emerged," Willow said defending Buffy.
"The last time?" I asked.
"Oh, yeah, they show up every few hundred years and try to Ascend, but someone always stops them," Willow replied. She said it like it was a perfectly normal thing, but of course for people like us, it is. 'Oz should be here soon. He doesn't live very far away."
"Oz here," Oz said opening the door. Willow jumped into his arms as he entered the room. They shared a quick kiss and then looked back at the rest of us. "Who's he?" He gestured at me.
"Umm... well we kind of messed up," Willow said slightly embarrassed.
"That's Amy," Michael said with a grin.
"I don't find it as amusing as he does," I said, elbowing Michael sharply in the ribs.
"Hmm... maybe you two should've practiced a little before you tried that spell on her," Oz said in his normal monotonous tone. Willow became flush with embarrassment.
"I certainly wish they had," I said glaring at Michael. He refused to act properly chastised. Instead he just grinned at me.
"I'm sure this is going to be a wonderful learning experience for you," Michael said mockingly as the four of us filed out and headed towards Oz's van. I punched him halfheartedly.
After a quick side trip to the mansion to get some slightly large clothing for myself we ended up at Giles's home.
"Hey, Giles!" Willow shouted at the door.
"What? Willow," Giles said as he opened the door. "Who's that?" He pointed at me.
"Hi, Giles," I said brushing past him and inviting myself to a seat on his couch.
"That's Amy," Oz said as Michael walked in after me.
"Willow, what did you do?" Giles said scornfully as Willow and Oz sat down.
"Well, at least she's a human again," Willow moaned piteously. Michael rolled his eyes. I was forced to hit him again.
"And you aren't in the least bit sorry," I growled at him.
"Did you bring the spellbook you used?" Giles asked as he set down a tray with tea and biscuits on it.
"Right here," Michael said holding up the book.
"I just thought of something," I began, "What did you tell my Dad?"
"Umm... that you were staying with your Mom for a little while," Willow replied. She looked at me pleadingly.
"Of course no one knows where my Mom is," I continued her statement.
"Leaving him without a way to contact you," Michael finished.
"I guess I'll be staying with my Mom until you figure out how to change me back," I said.
"That would be best," Giles said. "Now about the spell. What exactly was done?"
"We lit the candles exactly as the book required," Michael began.
"I said the words 'Antu harotu gesama' twenty times," Willow said.
"Then I said 'Sodo anivo gesama' nineteen times," Michael continued.
"Then both of us said 'Hecate withdraw' and blew out the candles," Willow finished. Giles looked over the page of the book.
"It appears that you did exactly as the spell required, but what was the spell meant to do?" Giles replied.
"What do you mean 'meant to do'," I said rising from the chair and grabbing the book from Giles. "This says that the spell was meant to change a man into a mongoose!" I glared at Willow and Michael. "This spell was not meant to be used on me!"
"Well we were using the principle that spells reverse themselves when used twice on the same person, and we hoped it would reverse itself if worded properly," Michael said.
"But this specifically says that this is to be used on a man! I wasn't a man before this, dammit!" I yelled. Willow slid further into her chair pressing even closer to Oz. Michael pulled back a little finally acting a little guilty.
"Amy!" Giles yelled silencing me. "Sit down and calm yourself. I'm sure we can fix this." I quickly did as I was told and listened to him. "Now, Willow if you performed the spell a second time what do you think would happen?"
Willow pulled herself up a little regaining her composure, "I think that it would probably just turn her into a mongoose, but she would still be male."
"Do we have any spells that could turn me directly into a woman?" I asked.
"Not even you have that much Power," Michael replied. "There's a spell, but even a full coven, which we don't have, couldn't do it."
"Which means we need a high mage," I said. "Where the hell am I going to get a high mage?"
"San Fransisco," Willow replied. "I hear that 'Frisco has one of the largest congregations of high mages on earth."
"Which means there are maybe five of them," I said sadly. "In the entire city."
"Dang," Oz said in standard Oz monotone.
"I guess that means I'm going to 'Frisco," I said getting up.
"Not alone," Willow said rising to stand up next to me.
"Now, I can't let to young ladies go into the big city all by yourselves," Michael said standing up as well.
"I'm in," Oz said.
"And how shall I explain your absences?" Giles asked.
"Talk to Buffy and Xander. They'll think of something," Willow replied.
"Let's go," I said. The four of us walked out of Giles's home and boarded Oz's van.
"So once we're in 'Frisco where are we going to stay?" Michael asked me. He lay sprawled in the back while I sat in the middle seat. Willow sat in the passenger seat and Oz drove.
"Umm... find an apartment?" I answered, completely unsure.
"Which would require money. Do you have money?" Michael prodded.
"I was a rat for six months."
"Maybe we could get some cash selling Wicca stuff," Willow suggested.
"I've got some cash from the band we could use," Oz provided helpfully.
"How much?" I asked. He quoted an incredible sum.
"Wow," Michael said.
"I think we could get a really nice apartment with that," Willow said grinning.
"I think we could stay for a year on that," Michael said. He grinned even bigger than Willow.
"Hopefully we won't have to stay for a whole year," I said.
"So this means we're set?" Oz asked. He continued to speak monotonously.
"We're set," I answered happily.
"Look at this place," Willow exclaimed in wonder. She spun about the huge space of the main room. She grabbed a hold of Oz and danced him around the room. He smiled which on anyone else would have been a little thing, but Oz was smiling. The pair whirled around the room giddily. Michael grinned and flopped down on the couch.
" 'Comes furnished' is a wonderful thing," he said happily as he lay sprawled on the couch. I hurried into the first door.
"This kitchen is huge!" I shouted as I ran back into the main room. I ran into the next room. "The bathroom is bigger than Oz's van!" I ran on to the next room. "That bedroom is Oz and Willow's!" I ran on to the next one. "That one's Michael's!" I continued to the next one. "Never mind! This one's Michael's!"
"Why does she get to decide?" Michael asked from the couch.
"Because you aren't moving from that couch," I said mockingly.
"You know you've gotten bitchy since you became a guy," he observed. I punched him. "And abusive."
"Umm... Why are Oz and I in the same room?" Willow asked with a raised eyebrow. Michael and I collapsed in laughter.
"Is your strange sense of morality violated by rooming together?" I asked through giggles.
"Well no, but I would have liked to have been consulted," Willow muttered in reply.
"I'll sleep on the couch if you want," Oz offered in standard deadpan.
"Oh, no! That's okay. You don't have to do that," Willow replied quickly. I fell back into uncontrollable giggles, and Michael fell off the couch.
I lay awake in my bed listening to the silence. A sudden thud sounded in Oz and Willow's room. I laughed softly to myself.
"Okay, so what's the plan?" Michael asked over the table. Oz sat across from him with Willow on his knee. The two of them were being giddy, and it turned out Michael was a morning person. I was lost in my contemplation of the evils of life before ten o'clock while my tea brewed.
"Plan?" Willow asked cheerily. I growled softly. Having a deep voice was an advantage when one was growling.
"Umm... To find a high-mage? You remember why we came to San Fransisco don't you, Will?" Michael replied. I growled again at the sound of his voice wishing that my tea would finish so I could have some caffeine.
"Maybe we could continue this conversation when Amy has some caffeine in his system," Oz said. I made an appreciative grunt. My tea finally finished and I poured myself a cup. I sat at the table and drank the tea quickly.
"Plan," Michael insisted as I abandoned my reverie of the horrors of mornings. I stared at him over my teacup. Everyone turned to look at me.
"What? I'm supposed to make a plan?" I replied indignantly.
"Well, we were kind of hoping you would know where to start," Willow said. She was being very perky. It was so bizarre.
"Where to start? Nightclub. I don't know which one yet," I replied. "I'll try and figure that out, okay?"
"Sounds good to me," Oz said, almost sounding like he meant it.
"Wait, how are going to find out which club?" Michael asked.
"Searching circle," I replied leaving the table.
"Spell time!" Willow shouted joyfully.
"You're way too perky at nine in the morning, Willow," I replied unhappily. "Especially after last night's athletics." Willow blushed a deep scarlet.
"Why are we using my room," Michael asked for the hundredth time.
"Because there's no bed. Just the futon," Willow replied also for the hundredth time.
"I think we've covered that," Oz said from his seat on the futon.
"To say the least," I muttered softly. I took another sip of my tea. "Do we have any chalk?"
"Right here," Willow answered. She was still being cheerful. The tea didn't have enough caffeine in it to make me able to deal with cheerful. She handed me a large stick of sidewalk chalk. I blinked several times fascinated by the idea that she kept sidewalk chalk in her pocket.
"Thanks, Will," I said shaking off the idea. I drew a circle in the carpet.
"Will I be allowed to clean my floor when we're done?" Michael asked. I had the urge to hit him. I got that urge a lot recently.
***
"So what was that supposed to do?" Willow asked dubiously.
"Yeah, I'm a little in the dark about that," Oz said. I growled softly to myself.
"Did it just not work or was there something wrong?" Michael pestered. I really wanted to knock the smirk right off his face.
"It did work," I growled. "I have their names. I just don't know how to find them."
"I thought we were looking for a nightclub to meet them at," Willow said. Her brow furrowed.
"We were. That didn't happen," I growled unhappily.
"Because...?" Oz asked noncommittally.
"I don't know," I replied walking out of the room.
"What do you mean you don't know?" Michael said, "I thought you were supposed to be kick-ass Wicca chick." I spun around and glared barely able to keep myself from giving him a black eye.
"Don't Michael. Don't," I said turning back around. I walked out of the apartment.
"Amy! Get back here!" Willow yelled. People stared at her. And at me.
"We should probably give her a different name," Michael said quietly. I stomped back into the apartment. I growled angrily at Michael before he could comment.
"Michael, quietness," Oz said. Michael sat down on the couch and kept his mouth shut. Oz sat on the arm of Willow's chair. I glared angrily at them.
"I realize your having troubles dealing with your new hormones, but Amy you aren't going to storm off," Willow said with her resolve face on. "Tell us exactly what you learned from the circle."
"Their names are James Alberson, Kristina Halberd, Callista Hengen, Harry Johnson, and Max Browne. Their phone numbers are unlisted. That's all I know," I said.
"Well, that's a start," Oz replied.
"One last thing, Michael's right, we need a name to call you. Amy just doesn't work if we're going out in public," Willow said. "Does anyone have any ideas?"
"I do, but Amy would probably hit me," Michael said cheerfully. I glared at him.
"Quietness," Oz repeated.
"What's wrong with Amy?" I asked incredulously. They stared at me as if I was a raving lunatic. Then I remembered that I was a big burly guy and realized I must seem like a raving lunatic.
"Do you really-" Michael began.
"Quietness," Oz interrupted.
"Amy, it will get a little too much attention," Willow said, "if people here us call you 'Amy' it will be a little out of place."
"Okay, point taken. I need a name," I said.
"How about Jason?" Willow suggested.
"Not cool enough to pull off Jason," Oz replied.
"David?" Michael suggested.
"Duchovny," I replied.
"Randolph?" Willow suggested. Oz raised his eyebrow at her.
"No way, Will," Michael said.
"How about Alex?" Oz suggested.
"That's Xander's name," Willow replied.
"Okay, that's a no. Maybe we should get a baby name book," Michael said.
"There has to be something simpler," Willow said.
"I'm thinking Seth," Oz said.
I glared at him in reply.
"Tony?" Michael suggested.
"Do I look like an Italian?" I replied.
"Point taken," Michael said.
"Mark?" Willow said from within the phonebook.
"McGrath," I answered.
"Craig?" she asked.
"Isn't that a last name?" I replied.
"How about Byron?" she said.
"That's a name?" I asked.
"Hey, there's a Damien!" she exclaimed. She looked up to see the rest of us staring at her. "Well, I think it's neat. That movie was really creepy."
"Whatever, Will," Oz said patting her leg.
"Okay, moving on. Dean?" Willow continued.
"Of a college," I answered grimacing.
"You are really picky. Clyde?"
"Clydesdale."
"Rick?"
"You got a lotta 'splaining to do."
"Leo?"
"DiCrappio."
"Peter?"
"Pumpkin Eater."
"William?"
"Prince in Europe."
"Clifford?"
"The big red dog."
"Aaron?"
"I don't have a reference to mock that with."
"Does that make it an okay name?"
"No, but I can't think of a good reason against it."
"So now she's Aaron?" Michael asked.
"Now I'm Aaron," I answered.
***
"Why do we always use my floor?" Michael asked from his perch on his bed.
"That's why I gave you this room," I answered. I etched a circle in chalk on the floor.
"You really are bitchy since you became a guy," Michael muttered sullenly.
"Could you two stop for five minutes?" Willow asked incredulously. Michael and I glared in response.
"And what about you two?" I asked, equally incredulous. Oz just looked at me while Willow blushed profusely.
"That was a little below the belt," Oz commented.
"I told you she was bitchy," Michael said.
"And it was fairly focused below the belt," I said conversationally.
"Amy! Michael! Stop it!" Willow said scoldingly, completely exasperated.
"Did that help at all?" Willow asked.
"New stuff," I mumbled. "Ow."
"I'll make tea and coffee," Oz said. He walked into the kitchen leaving the three of us in the main room.
"So tell, Miss Know-All-See-All," Michael said.
"Don't make me hurt you," I replied, glaring balefully at him.
"Ooh, I'm so-" Michael started.
"Can't you two be civil for five minutes?" Willow interrupted.
"Does that mean it's quiet time?" Michael asked.
"Yes," Oz said calmly from the kitchen.
"Nightclub. I don't know the name. I can find it though," I mumbled.
"Who are we looking for and how are we going to find them?" Willow asked.
"We're looking for one of the guys. I don't know which one," I replied.
"And we are finding him how?" Oz asked insistently.
"Umm... Well, with bait," I said. I looked at Michael and gave him my best puppy-dog look. Willow and Oz looked over at Michael as well.
"No way in all the nine hells," Michael replied.
"Pleeeeeeeaaaaaaassssssssse?????" I begged. "I'll never hit you again."
"Promise?" he asked.
"Promise," I replied evenly.
"Will I have to wear a dress?" he asked. The expression on his face was wonderful. I wished I had had a camera.
"I hate you," Michael said.
"You look perfect!" I exclaimed. He glared at me. He actually looked good wearing that long, black dress. The fact that we had put black lipstick and eyeshadow on hadn't bothered him because he wore that anyway. It had been when Willow and I had shown him how to shave his legs and then put that dress on him that he totally freaked out. After that every five minutes he informed me that he hated me. I was enjoying this.
"Am I going to have to 'dress up'?" Oz asked after seeing what Willow and I had done to Michael. He looked kind of worried.
"Just wear something dark," I replied. "And are your nails black this week?"
"Well yes," Oz replied. His brow was furrowed.
"Then just remain attached to Willow," I said.
"Why?" he asked.
"So no one starts hitting on you," I explained. At that statement Willow wrapped her arm around his possessively. "And Willow, I'm going to do something about that."
"What?" she asked. She seemed confused.
"The outfit," I said as I dragged her out of the room.
When we reentered the room Michael's jaw dropped. Oz fell off of his chair.
"I win!" I exclaimed happily.
"You look incredible," Oz mumbled as he got off the floor.
"I told you so," I whispered to Willow as I shoved her towards Oz. They caught each other and started to kiss.
"How did you...?" Michael mumbled.
"Soft makeup is so Willow," I replied. "And she has a great figure, but she always hides it under sweaters and overalls."
"You're good," Michael said.
"I win!" I exclaimed again.
"Are you ready yet?" Michael shouted at Willow and I.
"Not yet!" Willow shouted back. I continued to lace the large black boots.
"Do I need makeup?" I asked for the billionth time.
"You want makeup? Here," she replied. She began to apply the light peach eyeshadow on me.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"You have dark circles under your eyes," she replied.
"Fix it!" I shouted.
"There. It's fixed," she replied.
"Thank you," I said happily as I looked at myself in the mirror. "Wow. I look hot."
"I know," Willow replied. "That's really weird."
"Are you ready yet?" Michael shouted again.
"I'm ready!" I yelled as I rushed out of the bathroom.
"Finally," Michael muttered.
"Michael, go flirt," I said, pushing him out of the booth.
"I don't want to," he whined.
"I'll snap you into eighty-seven different pieces if you don't," I growled.
"You promised not to hit me," Michael whined.
"I promised not to hit you if you did this for me," I growled, louder this time.
"Yes," he said quickly. He walked over to the bar trying not to seem like a freak. I looked over at Willow and Oz. They were making out. For the fourth time since we got to the bar. I sighed unhappily. I wallowed in my own self-pity.
"Aaron. Aaron. Amy!" Willow whispered at me. I hadn't noticed that she and Oz had regained their ability to speak before that moment.
"Huh?" I asked dumbly.
"That guy is staring at you!" she whispered excitedly.
"Willow we're in a gay bar, why would any-" I broke off realizing how big an idiot I seemed like. "But he thinks I'm a-"
"Amy, you are Aaron. We don't know how long you are going to be like this. Enjoy yourself!" Willow said, kicking me. "Now go over there!"
"But Will!" I protested.
She glared at me with her resolve face on. I looked over at the guy she had pointed out. He had long, brown hair that was held in a loose tail. He had stunning blue eyes, and he was staring at me. He was gorgeous. It took an effort to keep myself from drooling. When our eyes met he looked away quickly.
"Why can't I get guys like that to look at me when I'm normal?" I asked.
"Do you want someone to answer that question?" Oz asked.
"Not really," I replied.
"Well? Are you going to talk to him or are you going to sit here?" Willow asked. She began to kick me.
"Are you going to kick me for the rest of the night if I don't go over there?" I asked her.
"Well, yeah!" she replied. Her foot was in a very solid boot. If I sat here for any longer I would have a huge bruise.
"I'll go," I agreed finally. "Geez! Your pushy." She grinned happily as Oz buried his face in her hair to restrain giggles. I stood up from the table and walked over to the guy. It took all my will to not fall flat on my face as I walked over to the guy.
"Hi," he said softly.
"Hi," I said, barely audible. I was beyond nervous. I was amazed by the fact my body wasn't shaking wildly.
"I'm Quentin," he said.
"I'm Aaron," I replied.
"Hi," he said again.
"I think we established that," I replied.
"Yeah," he said.
"Is this the uncomfortable silence?" I asked.
"Umm... Yeah," he replied.
"Do you want to dance?" I asked.
"Umm... Okay," he said. I pulled him off of his bar stool and onto the dance floor.
I lost focus. The music took control. When the music stopped I found myself clinging to him, the two of us entangled in a very sexual way. It was rather disturbing. Especially since everyone in the bar was staring at us. And my shirt was torn open in a way that if I had been looking at it would have been really sexy, but as it was I was incredibly embarrassed. Both of us were blushing bright red.
"We aren't going to be able to just slip away, are we?" I whispered in his ear.
"I don't really think so," he whispered back. "Let's try anyway."
He led me off the dance floor, and we sat down across from Oz and Willow. They were staring at us.
"That was unusual," Oz said.
"And fairly unexpected," Willow said.
"Be nice," I growled at them.
"I'm always nice," Willow said. Oz whispered something in her ear. "Well, not always, but normally."
"Are you going to introduce us?" Oz asked.
"Right-oh, this is Quentin. And these are Oz and Willow," I said gesturing at each individual as I stated they're name.
"Hi," Quentin said.
"Hi," Willow replied. She smiled happily and vigorously shook his hand.
"Hey," Oz said.
Conversation was actually rather interesting. After a few minutes Quentin stopped being so shy. He and Oz became engrossed in a conversation about music. It turned out Quentin played bass.
"What do you think?" I whispered to Willow.
"Of what part? Him in general, the dance floor specifically, or this conversation?" she replied. I felt myself blush at the mention of the dance floor.
"All three," I replied.
"Reverse order: conversation is currently dull, but he has Oz's attention, dance floor was... impressive, and in general he... fits you," Willow said. "I don't really know how to explain that in real terms."
"Will, we're Wicca," I stated. "I know exactly what you mean."
"You know you're going to have to tell him if Michael finds a high mage," she said. "I don't just mean just the recently, I mean everything. But here's the biggie, what will you do if Michael doesn't find a high mage?"
"I guess I'll just settle into a life as a young gay man," I replied. "I would rather go back to being a straight young woman though."
"Even if it meant no more Quentin?" she asked. I paused for a moment.
"I don't know," I replied. "I just met him."
"But you feel it, don't you?" she pressed. "Do you feel how right he is? If you don't, you're being really blind."
"You're right," I said with a sigh.
" 'Dingoes Ate My Baby'? And your name is Oz?" Quentin said. "And no one else sees the weirdness?"
All of us gave him a strange look.
***
After Willow and Oz had left, Quentin and I went back to his apartment. Neither of us had drank any alcohol all night, but we were still feeling kind of woozy. The world was all whirly, and we were giggling like maniacs. In his apartment we had tea and talked. Before I really knew what was happening it was three in the morning.
"You look tired," Quentin said.
"I'm not normally awake this late," I replied grinning.
"You mean this early," he corrected me. "I should probably take you home."
"Probably," I said.
"Then we should probably get off the couch," he said.
"Probably," I repeated. He pulled me up. I wrapped my arms around him delicately. He smiled. I pulled him closer to me. He kissed me. I felt like I was going to faint.
"Well?" he asked.
"Huh?" I had been reduced to monosyllables.
"I haven't done that for a while," he said. "I was wondering if you liked it."
"Uh," I said.
"Happy thoughts?" he asked. I nodded idiotically. "I really should take you home."
"Yeah," I agreed, slightly sad. The two of us walked out, holding hands.
He kissed me again and left. I fumbled in my pocket for the key. I unlocked the door and stumbled into the apartment. Willow and Oz were sitting on the couch, asleep. I scooped up Willow and laid her on their bed. I went back to get Oz, but he had stumbled in behind me. He flopped onto the bed. I smiled as they wrapped around each other. They were adorable.
I closed the door behind me and walked into my own room. Despite the fact that I had only lived in the room a short time it was somehow comforting. I collapsed on the bed and drifted into sleep.
"Mon petit rouge," Oz said. We were sitting in the Bronze. It was weird.
"Jambo!" Buffy said from behind me. I noticed I was female again as I turned to look at her. Willow was standing next to her. She had a spider monkey sitting on her shoulder.
"Etherea novalis," Quentin's voice resounded through the Bronze. I spun around again. Quentin and Oz were on the stage.
"Etherea novalis," Buffy and Willow said. The monkey started throwing peanuts at me.
"I hate symbolism," I growled as I sat up in bed. I looked over at the little clock next to my bed. It said it was three o'clock in the afternoon. I growled and got out of bed.
Willow and Oz sat in the kitchen. Willow handed me a cup of tea.
"Where's Michael?" I asked.
"Refusing to leave his room," Willow said.
"He left with the wrong guy," Oz explained.
"He's very unhappy," Willow continued.
"Is that my fault?" I asked incredulously.
"No," Oz said.
"Tell us what happened with Quentin," Willow said excitedly.
"We talked," I replied.
"And? Come on, girl, tell me about the smoochies," Willow prodded.
"He kissed me," I whispered. I felt my body go numb just thinking about it.
"He was that good?" Willow asked, bringing me out of my reverie.
"Even better," I said, smiling.
"All right! It took long enough for you to find someone!" Willow exclaimed. Oz continued sitting passively.
"The oddest circumstances lead to passion," Oz said softly. He and Willow shared a look. I blushed remembering when Willow's shirt had covered my cage. They had been noisy. It had taken a lot of effort to keep the rat from completely freaking out.
"I nearly forgot to tell you. I had a creepy dream. Mildly prophetic I think," I said. "Oz said 'Mon petit rouge.' Then Buffy said 'Jambo.' Willow had a spider monkey that threw peanuts. And then everyone said 'Etherea novalis.' It was pretty weird."
" 'Mon petit rouge' means 'My little red' in French," Oz said.
"And 'Jambo' means 'Hello' in umm... an African language," Willow said.
"And 'Etherea novalis' means... Actually I have no idea what that means," Oz said.
" 'Etherea novalis' is part of the spell to change Amy back," Willow explained.
"Which means?" I asked.
"One thing, when you say everyone who do you mean?" Oz asked.
"Buffy, you two, and... Quentin," I said.
"Okay so Buffy's coming," Willow said.
"And Quentin's going to be part of the spell to change you back," Oz finished.
"I don't really know how you got to that conclusion," I said.
"We don't really know," they said simultaneously.
"You guys are so weird," I commented.
"I'm going to kill you when you're a girl again," Michael growled as he came out of his bedroom.
"That's nice," I said.
"You're giddy! You met someone, you bitch!" he shouted. I grinned happily.
"He kissed me," I said happily.
"Whore," he growled.
"How did you do?" I asked.
"Not only was he the wrong guy, he was The Wrong Guy," he growled. "I'm not really comfortable wearing dresses. I'm less comfortable when a creepy guy sticks his hand up the dress." I giggled. "You may think it's funny, but I'm going to die if I have to do that after we leave Frisco."
"No worries. Once we find a high mage we're going home, and you'll never have to wear a dress again," I assured him.
"I better not," he growled. I giggled again. "So, tell me about this guy who kissed you."
"His name is Quentin, and he is damn gorgeous," I said. "Oz likes him 'cause he plays bass. Willow likes him 'cause we fit together."
"Like Willow and Oz fit together?" he asked.
"That's what she said," I said with a grin.
"You're going to be like this for a while aren't you?" he asked.
"Hopefully," I replied.
We had spent two weeks in San Fransisco, and still we hadn't found a high mage. Then Buffy showed up.
"Wait! Who's Quentin?" Buffy asked. "What page are we on? I am so behind!"
"Quentin's the guy Amy met at the gay bar," Willow said. She grinned inanely.
"Will says they fit. I don't know what that means," Oz said. Buffy's brow furrowed in confusion.
"It's a Wicca thing," I explained. "Example: Willow and Oz fit. And they're really noisy in the middle of the night." Oz sat passively while Willow blushed a deep scarlet.
"Really noisy," Michael added with a grin. Buffy's jaw dropped.
"Are you two serious?" Buffy asked.
"You should see what happens when Oz gets panicky," I said. Willow's color got even darker. Oz continued being passive.
"You saw that?" he asked.
"At least Willow's sweater landed over my cage," I said. Buffy fell off her chair.
"When did this happen? Why didn't you tell me, Wills?" Buffy asked.
"Graduation," Oz said.
"Umm..." Willow replied. "Would 'I didn't want to tell you' work?"
"Not really," Buffy said.
"It felt nice being secret," Willow said. "Besides you and Xander didn't tell me."
"I told you!" Buffy said defensively.
"After Angel had obviously lost his soul!" Willow accused.
"And why is it my fault Xander didn't tell you? He didn't tell me either!" Buffy continued.
"Well, I can't really blame you for that, but I haven't lost my temper in three months!" Willow yelled.
"Lie," I said.
"What?" Willow asked. Her temper tantrum had disappeared the moment I spoke.
"Just last month you ranted for three straight hours about how big a moron Xander was being," I said.
"You heard that?" Willow asked.
"I lived in your room for the past six months, Willow," I said.
"Oh, yeah. I keep forgetting about that," Willow said as she sat back down.
"You then spent six hours playing some computer game online, killing monster things," I continued. She blushed.
"That's how I deal with angry feelings," she explained.
"We were talking about Quentin," Oz reminded us. "He plays bass too."
"And he's gorgeous," I added softly.
"She likes him a lot," Willow said.
"I can tell," Buffy said with a grin.
We were walking to the bar when I realized something.
"You never told us why you came," I said to Buffy.
"Well, no. I didn't think it really mattered," Buffy replied.
"It's just that you've got responsibilities and stuff," I said.
"Well, I'm kinda being selfish," Buffy admitted. "I thought that if a high mage could help you maybe one could help Angel. So I could be with him." She looked like she felt guilty about it.
"One probably could, but it'll cost you," I said.
"Cost? How are you gonna pay?" she asked.
"Umm... a piece of myself," I answered.
"Huh?"
"A piece of my very essence," I explained. "It's the only thing I have to give."
"What do you mean 'the only thing you have to give'? I thought you were like a complete kick-ass Wicca."
"I am, but guess how much a high mage wouldn't care. Compared to one of them I'm not even an initiate."
"But you've got raw power, right? That's how you do that stuff."
"That's my essence. That's what I have to give."
"Oh. Won't that hurt?"
"A little."
"That bites."
"Yeah."
***
"Who's this?" Quentin asked as he sat down.
"That's Buffy. This is Quentin," I said.
"Hi," they said simultaneously.
***
I didn't quite understand what was going on but Buffy and Quentin were having a staring contest. The rest of us were confused. Then Buffy looked at me.
"Tell him," she commanded.
"Tell him what?" I asked, completely bewildered.
"Tell him everything," she said. "From start to finish.
Including about me."