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Disclaimer:I own none of the Buffy related characters. That includes Merrick! Also, the lyrics indicated by *** are from Shania Twain's "Come On Over" CD.&nbps; The song is "From This Moment" so I need to give her credit for my title as well.
Author's Notes: Everyone was focusing on the ending of Becoming and it suddenly struck me that tons of other things were revealed and were not written about. I think this is a much happier thing to dwell on. If you don't like it, I'm sorry. Thanks to my BETA Reader LadyRHood, what would I do without her? Gotta say thanks to Kelly, my one true Buffy obsessed friend.
As I pulled up to the school, I checked the address. Yep, Hemery High. What I was looking for I didn't know. I didn't even know why I was listening to Whistler; he's obviously a quack. But, something inside me told me to trust him and shut up. Ahh, this sun started to sting. Behind the darkened-windows of my Impala I was relatively safe from the suns fatal rays but not from the discomfort of indirect rays. I decided to give it five more minutes before I left.
Suddenly, I heard a bell ring. Following the bell, streams of students poured out of the school. That's when I saw her. I don't know how I knew she was the one I was supposed to look for; but I knew. Call it fate, call it a sixth sense, I called it love.
***From this moment life has begun
***From this moment you are the one
***Right beside you is where I belong
***From this moment on
Okay, so maybe it wasn't love at that precise moment, but it was close. She was talking to three girls, friends I guess. It must be great to have friends. I don't even remember having them. I deserved the loneliness though. This girl, it suddenly struck me that I don't even know her name, idly waits for someone or something when a man in a dark suit approaches her.
She looked so confused as he told Buffy, what a name, of her destiny. I almost laughed out loud as I heard her reply "I'm destiny free, really", but I didn't. Laughter is a pleasure I don't deserve. Her soon to be Watcher tells her to meet him in the graveyard. After a while, Merrick (her Watcher) got it through her thick skull to meet him in the graveyard. She'd show, the desire was in her, and so would I.
***From this moment I have been blessed
***I live only for your happiness
***And for your love I'd give my last breath
***From this moment on
I found a spot safe from her view and wait. She walked in with Merrick. I heard him try to explain about her destiny but all she did was pop her gum and look bored. Bored, that is, until a vamp rose behind her. The battle was over quickly, her skill rising when she needed it, although I almost felt sorry for the vamp. Being a slayer's first victim has got to be hard. The girl missed his heart first time round.
But the look she gave Merrick when he queried after her thoughts on the battle almost broke my heart. She looked so confused, so scared, so alone. If she only knew how her life was going to change. How she was going to be forced into a dangerous and scary role whether she wanted it or not. She needed someone. Someone who could take care of her, someone who could protect her and be a source of comfort.
With a shake, I realized I wanted to be that person.
***I do swear that I'll always be there
***I'd give anything and everything, and I will always care
***Through weakness and strength, happiness and sorrow
***I will love you with every beat of my heart
I followed her back to her house that night, just to make sure she was safe. Okay, that was a lame excuse. Why lie to myself? I followed her because I wanted to see her. I wanted to be with her. I wanted to love her.
I watched silently as her mother grilled her as to where she had been. She made up some excuse that obviously upset her mother. As her mother reprimanded her, I wanted so much to intervene. I want to tell her that her daughter was going through hell. That she was saving the world at great risk to herself. But, I wanted too much
Buffy moved into her bathroom, and my gaze followed her. Although her back was turned to me, I could still see her reflection. My heart cried out to her as I saw her beautiful face contort into teary eyes and a worn look. Why couldn't I shake this desire to be with her?
I almost ruined everything and went to her right then. That would have been a good idea. Scare her out of her wits. I couldn't see her anymore. I wasn't good enough for her. I looked down at myself and was disgusted by what I saw. I saw a dirty, good for nothing man who was in no way worthy of such a beautiful and strong creature. I hadn't really cared much about my appearance for a while. That was it! Care. She made me care. She made me feel. For 80 years I hadn't cared about anything. I could have died and wouldn't have noticed or been in the least bit sorry. But at that moment I would have. I wanted to be something she could love. Something that was close enough to the perfect creature she deserved. And I decided I would be. I made my way back to Whistler.
***From this moment as long as I live
***I will love you, I promise you this
***There is nothing I wouldn't give
***From this moment
***I will love you as long as I live
I wandered through the sewers that demons seem to be so fond of until I found him.
"She gonna have it tough, that Slayer" he said, not even offering a greeting, as if he knew what I was going to say, "She's just a kid. The world's full of big, bad things.
"I wanna help her" the words burst from my mouth before I could stop them, "I wanna become someone."
Some of my desperation must've come through in my voice because he eyed me curiously.
"God. Jeez, look at you. She must be prettier than the last Slayer."
I looked away. 'Pretty' wasn't a strong enough word to describe her. But it was not only her beauty. He continues on, his tone becoming stern.
"This isn't gonna be easy. The more you live in this world, the more you see how apart from it you really are. And this is dangerous work. Right now, you couldn't even go three rounds with a fruit fly!" his voice was just short of mocking.
Did he not think I knew this? I knew how hard it will be. And I was willing. But, I needed help. His help. I looked at him. God, he was going to make me ask him. Well, I could suffer anything for her. Even a little humiliation.
"I wanna learn from you Whistler." My voice filled with resolve.
"Alright"
There's just one thing we gotta clear up. My turn to humble him!
"But I don't want to dress like you"
Well what am I supposed to say? His cloths were ugly! I started walking, aware that Whistler was following me.
"Again, you're starting to annoy me. You're lucky we need you on our side."
What did he mean by that? Oh well, it's not important. What was important was becoming good enough for her. Good enough to love her. Could I dare hope, good enough to be loved?
***From this moment on ...