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Disclaimer: I own no one. They are all the property of Joss Whedon.
Author's Note: Aside from that, I suppose this story and the ones that will follow it require some explanation. As of the episode, “Expecting,” I have decided it might be fun to write down journal entries the way I imagine Cordelia would write them. There will be at least one to mark each episode of the series thus far, and will end whenever the Angel Series Finale airs. Hope you enjoy the look into Cordelia’s mind as much as I will enjoy writing about it.
On a side note, each entry will be subtitled with a quote from the episode of which it’s about. Enjoy:
“I Am Right Where I’m Supposed To Be, And Not Dying For Something To Eat!”
October 1, 1999
I’ve heard a lot of things about Los Angeles while I was growing up. People called it the City of Dreams... or is that City of Angels? Oh, well, I guess it doesn’t matter. In any case, I thought it was the perfect place to go to start an acting career, to realize my dreams. Little did I know that such aspirations were harder to come by than I thought.
I had come to LA with barely a cent to my name. All of my family’s fortune had been taken because Daddy had never figured out how to do his taxes correctly. The IRS claimed it all, leaving us with nothing. I needed the money, needed it fast, more than anyone else, I thought. But, in the big picture, I was just another starlet, one more girl who was just waiting around or going to auditions hoping for her big break. Believe me, reality proves it’s never that easy.
I was barely scraping by, with very few clothes and on the verge of starving save for food I began stealing from casting parties. That was where I met up with Angel for the first time since Sunnydale, believe it or not. It was the last place I would have placed him, but there he was. I didn’t know it then, but his arrival back in my life was a blessing in disguise.
Angel is many things, but the most salient point is that he’s a vampire, one of the very rare-- Okay, the ONLY good one out there. He came to LA for sort of the same reason I did, to build a new life, but in his case, also to get over his previous girlfriend, Vampire Slayer Buffy. Despite how it sounds, those two were quite attached to each other, but they still came close to killing one another several times from what I heard.
In any event, I was “discovered” the day after the casting party by one Russell Winters, the head of some corporation or other who supposedly had connections in the film industry. He sent a limo to bring me to his place and all during the ride, I was just so exalted, thinking to myself, “This is it, Cordelia! This is the big break you’ve been waiting for!”
It didn’t take me long after my arrival to guess Russell was a vampire who wanted me simply for a snack. You can’t live for three years in Sunnydale--Demon Central--and not know the signs. Still, it was kind of an insult and more than disappointing. As I fled from him, all I could think of furiously was that life was SUPPOSED to be NORMAL!!! I had come here to escape all knowledge of things lurking in the night! But you can’t do that, not when you’ve seen and experienced too much of it thus far. You can never run far or fast enough, not even from a bloodsucker who’s intent on making you a meal.
I had just reached the top of the staircase when Russell caught me, leaning closer to sink his fangs into my neck. I may not have been ready to die, but I was prepared for it then... God, how many times over the years have I been in a situation that demanded that thought?!
Oh, well, before I stray from the point too much... Russell was coming in for the kill when the lights suddenly went dead, halting both of us in our tracks. Before either of us could react, who should step from the darkened bedroom but Angel himself. I didn’t know what he was doing there or what his vendetta against Russell was, but I was no less than grateful to see him.
Angel put up a good fight, but it wasn’t enough, as Russell’s goons were quick to come running to their boss’s rescue. Angel got shot once or twice just trying to get me out safely, but escape we did. A getaway car was parked just outside the gate (or should I say, banged up from ramming into the gate in a failed attempt to open it), driven by a stranger whose name I later learned to be Doyle. We fled back to Angel’s new place of residence... though I’m not sure if the landlord actually knew he lived there. And if so, where does Angel keep the money to pay rent...? Oh, well, I’m digressing again. Best to learn to keep to the point.
I suppose, to avenge the murder of an aspiring actress named Tina as much as to protect me, Angel went after Russell again the following day, traveling via the city sewers to avoid the sun’s rays. Not much was said when Angel returned from this mission, but I got the sense that the world had one less vampire roaming around causing trouble.
While Angel was eliminating Russell from the picture, Doyle was filling me in on the whole story. It made me feel sorry for that girl, Tina. In the end, all she wanted was to escape LA and go home, wherever that was for her. But apparently, Russell didn’t let any of the starlets he took an interest in to get away that easily. Guess I’m the only lucky one.
As to Doyle, he’s a part of this ensemble as well. I don’t know too much about him apart from the fact that he has visions about people in trouble. But that applied to Tina, not me, which I can’t figure. We both needed rescuing, didn’t we? Well, I’ll have to ask Doyle someday how exactly it works, out of pure curiosity.
Anyway, the whole concept got me to thinking. Maybe this would prove to be something to tide me over financial-wise until the acting gig kicked in. And, the more I thought, the more I realized it could work. Doyle would have the visions, Angel would do the rescuing, and I’d assist by managing the office. Imagine that, our own little supernatural detective agency! I was quick to pitch the idea to LA’s resident friendly vampire, and much to my elation (and immense surprise), he actually agreed to the arrangement.
So, we’re all set. I start work effective immediately. And the first thing on my grocery list is food, food, and more food. And after that, clothing. I know things were dire at first, but sometimes the littlest twist of fate can turn it all around. I have a place to call my own, an old friend to back me up, and a fairly steady income to work with.
Honestly, what else could a girl ask for...?