Expecting


By: Ivory

Disclaimer: I don't own them.

Author's Notes: I own no one.  They are all the property of Joss Whedon.  Aside from that, I suppose this story and the ones that will follow it require some explanation.  As of the latest episode, “Expecting,” I have decided it might be fun to write down journal entries the way I imagine Cordelia would write them.  There will be at least one to mark each episode of the series thus far, and will end whenever the Angel Series Finale airs.  Hope you enjoy the look into Cordelia’s mind as much as I will enjoy writing about it.

On a side note, each entry will be subtitled with a quote from the episode of which it’s about.  Enjoy:

“I Have Two People That I Trust Absolutely With My Life.”

January 12, 2000

I often wonder why I’m still surprised by things that go on in this town.  You’d think after everything I’d seen, in Sunnydale AND in Los Angeles, that NOTHING could catch me off guard!  But we’d both be proved wrong, as I learned from what happened the morning after a hot date.

I was getting ready for said date at the office--again.  The only difference this time was that a few girlfriends (and I’m using the term lightly) were coming to get me to meet this guy somewhere.  Thus, neither Angel nor Wesley would have the opportunity to embarrass me That part of the evening went smoothly, except for me having a vision at the last minute, which the guys tried valiantly to cover up.  Imagine my mild surprise upon my recovery that Serena (one of my friends) actually thought Angel and Wesley were GAY; gotta wonder what they said to give her that impression.

Anyway... it was my third date with Wilson Christopher, fashion photographer, but I could tell right off that this one was more intimate than the first two.  I told Wilson all about myself... well, excluding the parts where I work for a vampire, of course.  Afterwards, I invited him back to my place, all set for a romantic evening.  Only problem was, any attempt on my part to set the mood was foiled by Dennis, my phantom roommate.  Fortunately, Wilson bought my explanation of faulty wiring, after which I chewed out Dennis in private... or at least I hope he was there and that I wasn’t talking to an empty room.

Nevertheless, Wilson and I did end up spending the night together, which was really nice and sweet.  When I woke up the next morning, I found that my late evening did have a few consequences.  Wilson was gone, I was two hours late for work...and oh yeah, I was EIGHT MONTHS PREGNANT!

I don’t know how long I lay there freaking out or trying to convince myself this wasn’t real, but eventually, Angel and Wesley came by to check up on me.  And I could tell from the start that they were just as freaked by it.  I don't think I've ever seen Angel truly scared before... okay, maybe during that whole ordeal where he thought he was committing those murders that Penn was responsible for, but... I could tell that this was enough to do the trick.  I have to commend him for doing his best to hide that emotion from me, to try to be strong for me.  But I'm also glad that he cares enough to be afraid for my well being.

Angel took charge immediately by asking me to dial Wilson’s number, saying he’d talk to him, but there was no answer.  Afterwards, the guys assured me that they’d figure this out and left me alone for a time to deal with the reality of it.  The really sweet part is that Dennis, despite being annoying most of the time, can also be really considerate.  I guess the sight of seeing me lying in bed crying my eyes out made him ditch the Get-On-My-Nerves attitude.  I didn't think my ghostly roommate had it in him to be a comforting presence, but I'll be sure to remember it next time he starts getting on my bad side.

After a while, Wesley came back in with some clothes he had bought from the mall, prepared to take me to the hospital for an ultrasound (Angel was out trying to track down Wilson for answers).  Normally, I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing an outfit like the one he picked out, pregnant or otherwise, but I didn’t much care at that point.  In any event, the really scary part was that the ultrasound revealed that whatever I was carrying was NOT HUMAN.

Returning to the office with Wesley, I tried my best to cope with this fact, even grasping at straws by saying that since Doyle and Angel were, in part, demons that maybe it would be okay.  It wasn’t in my plans to raise a demon baby (or rather, seven, which was apparent when they started TALKING to me), but I was almost prepared to tackle that challenge.

Some time later, after getting some rest, I came upon Wesley studying a picture of the impregnating Hacksaw demon.  It was grotesque, that’s for sure, now that I think about it.  But my attitude at that point was quite different.  When Wesley let it slip that he and Angel could prevent what was happening to me, I actually knocked him unconscious and ran out.  As Angel would explain later, this demon had some psychic connection with its unborn spawn, which it was using to sustain them and control me.  I know what you’re thinking, (This is the guy I went out with?) but it turns out that this demon and Wilson were two separate beings; the latter was just acting as a sort of surrogate, as were some of Wilson’s buddies.

I made it all the way to the sewers some distance away, where I met up with Serena and a number of other girls in the same predicament.  We were all forced to prepare for some birthing ceremony or other, which included settling into a pool of filth (yuck) for the main event.  Fortunately, Angel and Wesley arrived on the scene at the same time as the Hacksaw, and they managed to slay it with the help of a canister of liquid nitrogen and Wesley’s sharp shooting abilities.  Good thing, because that demon was HUGE!  And fortunately, killing it simultaneously terminated the pregnancies all around.

I guess I surprised the guys by returning to work revitalized just two days later.  Maybe other girls would want more time to recover, but I’m stronger than that.  I’m practically made of steel, which keeps getting more and more solid by every ordeal I go through.  Good thing Wilson didn’t know that, or that I have two people behind me who will move heaven and earth to keep me safe.  And did I mention that giving birth to those demons was an experience I wasn’t likely to survive?  When you think about it, I was very lucky.

And I might never admit it to Angel or Wesley, but this whole ordeal may have awakened my maternal instincts in more ways than one.  For the first time, I'm actually questioning what kind of mother I'd be, should that day ever come.  Maybe I should take it into serious consideration, based on the fact that unexpected pregnancies, demonic or otherwise, can happen anytime.

The only point I'm still unclear about (and God, do I wish this was a demon thing and not me) was why my hunger pangs drove me to raid Angel's blood supply!  Ick!

THE END

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