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Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. If I did, there would be no curse and Angel and Cordelia *would not* be moving to L.A. They belong to Joss, who loves to torture them, Mutant Enemy, and the WB. I’m just seeing what it’s like to be like Joss. I do own Ashleigh and Gary though.
Author’s Notes: I don’t own any of the characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. If I did, there would be no curse and Angel and Cordelia *would not* be moving to L.A. They belong to Joss, who loves to torture them, Mutant Enemy, and the WB. I’m just seeing what it’s like to be like Joss. I do own Ashleigh and Gary though.
Boy, is Angel gonna be surprised when he sees me, Buffy thought to herself as she made her way to Apartment 5D. That was the address he had given her, along with a spare key and an open invitation to go visit whenever she felt the need. Cordelia lived a floor beneath him and Buffy was staying at her place for the next few days.
It had been about two months since he had left Sunnydale for L.A. She hadn’t visited him yet, just ran up her mother’s phone bill talking to him for two hours each week. She had missed him so much but it had been surprisingly easier on her than she thought. She still loved him with all her heart and had remained faithful to him, even though he had told her he wanted her to date. She couldn’t, she loved him too much.
Stopping in front of his door, she pulled her keys out of her bag and fiddled with them until she found the right key. She put it in the lock and turned and was rewarded with a sharp click as it opened. She pulled the key out and turned the knob softly, trying to make as little noise as possible. Opening the door, she walked in slowly, looking around into the hardly lit apartment. She stepped over the threshold and turned to shut the door behind her when she heard a little giggle. Turning around to the source of the noise, she could only stare in shock.
Angel sat on his couch next to a gorgeous black haired girl.
Kissing her.
Buffy felt the air leave her lungs and her heart stop. She stood there as her heart broke and anger filled her. How dare he? She had been faithful to him, was it so much to ask that he return the gesture?
“Angel...” Buffy whispered in a yearning tone. He froze, removing his lips from the girl and turned around to face her. Shocked to see her, he jumped up and rushed over to where she had been. But she had taken off, running out the door and down the hall to the stairs before he reached his door.
“Buffy, wait. I can explain!” Angel shouted to her as he ran after her. She threw the stairwell door open and rushed down to the next floor, where she almost collided with an elderly man. Mumbling an apology as tears began cascading down her cheeks, she ran onto the fourth floor towards Cordelia’s apartment.
She realized she still had her keys in her hand and stood shaking in front of Cordy’s apartment before figuring out which was the key to it. She hastily opened the door and ran inside, shutting and locking it behind her. She slowly leaned against the door and slid down until she was sitting in a curled up ball, shaking with her sobs.
“Buffy? Is that you?” Cordelia called from her bedroom. Buffy didn’t bother to answer, she couldn’t have even if she tried. Images of Angel wrapped around that girl bombarded her mind as she fought to keep them out.
“Buff, hey, I was just gonna order some pizza. What do you want on it?” Cordelia asked as she walked out of her room. She saw Buffy crying on the floor and ran over to her friend. Putting a friendly hand on her shoulder, Cordelia asked, “Buffy? Oh God, what’s wrong? Is Angel okay?”
Buffy looked up at her and Cordelia winced. Her eyes were puffy and she looked completely devastated. She gave a short little sarcastic laugh that was completely humorless. Cordelia helped her stand and walked her into the living room and placed her on the couch before going into the adjourning kitchen and getting some tissues and a glass of water for her. Buffy took them and set them on the table as if she was in a trance.
“Buffy, what’s wrong?” Cordelia asked gently. “Was Angel not there or something? ‘Cause he should have been, he was supposed to be meeting Ashleigh there--”
“Oh, is that her name?” Buffy said hoarsely, angrily. “What, did they have a date or something?”
“Huh? No, not that I know of. They’re not together,” Cordelia replied. Buffy gave another short laugh.
“Really...well that’s not what I saw.”
“What?” Cordelia asked, suddenly confused. Sure, Ashleigh had the hots for Angel, she was always complaining about how he didn’t look at her at all, but he just wasn’t interested. He had told Cordelia that multiple times.
Buffy had stopped sobbing and hiccuped a few times as the tears continued to roll down her cheeks. She took a deep breath and put on a strong mask, locking away her emotions so she spoke in an even tone. “I went up there to see him and as I open the door he’s on the couch making out with some black haired chick. I whispered his name and he saw me and I bolted,” she stopped, then added, “I thought he was following me, but I guess he didn’t.”
“Buffy, he doesn’t know you’re here. I didn’t tell him you were coming,” Cordelia told her, her mind still reeling from what she had just learned. “There must be a perfectly good reason for why they were kissing,” she said rationally.
“Yeah, let me guess. He wanted to find out what flavor chapstick she had on, right?” she said bitterly. Cordelia sighed. She couldn’t be her normal tact- less self right now, Buffy needed her and she was one of the closest friends she had ever had.
“Buff, look. I’m sure Angel will be able to explain. I’ll go get him and--”
“No. I don’t want to see him right now. I need some major thinking time before I even can look at him. Please, Cordy, don’t get him,” she said pleadingly.
“Okay, I won’t. Can I at least go up and tell him you’re with me? So he doesn’t go looking through the entire city for you and worrying and wondering how he can fix it if he can’t find you?” she asked. Buffy thought for a long moment, then nodded.
“Yeah, I guess,” she looked Cordelia in the eye. “I just don’t know if this can ever be fixed.”
She pulled Buffy in for a quick hug before leaving instructions for her to order a pizza. Cordelia left the apartment, still worried about her friend, and went to find Angel. She walked up the stairs fuming. She put her key in Angel’s door and opened it to find a heated argument between Angel and Ashleigh going on.
“Oh, come on. You wanted it. You know you do. If you didn’t, why were you kissing me back?” Ashleigh asked. Cordelia cleared her throat and they both looked up to see her standing there.
“Where is she?” Angel asked, rushing up to her. She just looked at him long and hard.
“Before I tell you anything, I need to know exactly what happened,” she said. Angel looked at her with pleading eyes. “And don’t give me your crap right now Angel, I need to know what happened and what she saw. More importantly, I need to know why she saw it.”
Ashleigh stood in the center of the room with a smirk on her face. She reminded Cordelia of her old self, the snobby, self centered bitch she used to be. That had all changed when she had gone to L.A. and she had come to the realization that she wasn’t as cool as she had thought she was. She had had a very hard time making friends, finally finding Angel and working for him. She had moved into the same building as him just for convenience and befriended Ashleigh, secretly trying to change her.
Angel gave a heavy sigh, motioning Cordelia in and closing and locking the door behind her. She took a seat on the couch and Angel sat across from her in his recliner. Ashleigh tried to perch herself on his lap, but he pushed her away. She gave him a look and sat down next to Cordelia on the sofa.
“I’m waiting,” she said in an icy tone, looking at Ashleigh. Ashleigh gave her an innocent look and rolled her eyes.
“Okay, geez Cor, don’t get your panties all twisted. I came to see if Angel wanted to go out with me to that club I took you to last week. I walked in to see him staring at this picture of the blond who came here before. He told me he didn’t want to, but I finally convinced him,” she said as she stuck a piece of gum into her mouth and started to chew. “So we were just about to go out when I suddenly felt faint,” she said with a smirk, showing Cordelia that it had all been an act. “I sat down and he sat with me, making sure I was okay and everything. Then I leaned over and kissed him. He kissed back and that girl walked in and found us, totally flipped and ran out. She ruined it.”
Cordelia just looked at her as she blew a huge bubble. She glanced over at Angel, who was staring at the wall, a guilty expression on his face. He looked anxiously at her.
“Where is she?” he asked in a low, painful voice.
“She’s at my place, she’s staying with me for the next few days. And don’t even think about going to see her,” she added as Angel began to rise. “She really doesn’t want to see you right now. With good reason. So, is there anything else you’d like to add to that story, Angel?”
Angel fidgeted slightly under her gaze. He sighed heavily. “No, that’s pretty much it.”
“Can you tell me why on Earth you kissed her back?” Cordelia asked suddenly, jerking her head in the direction of Ashleigh. She heard a large pop from behind her as Ashleigh blew a bubble.
“I...I don’t know,” Angel said, hanging his head in shame.
“Oh, I see. Well, when you figure it out,” she said as she rose, “Give me a call. In the meantime, don’t bother coming down until tomorrow. She said she wants you to come at one,” she lied. She wanted Angel to have to go down in the sunlight to make him suffer. She had changed, but not that much.
He paled a little, if that was possible, then nodded. “But how will I get there if the sun is out?” he asked.
“Well, the elevator doesn’t exactly have windows, now does it? And our apartments are on the darker side of the building, so you’ll be able to get down there without being fried. Oh, and Ashleigh,” she said, directing her attention to the girl. “Maybe you should be there too. I can’t wait to see Buffy kick your ass.”
As she spoke she had moved to the door and opened it. She turned and walked out, waving over her shoulder in a careless manner without turning around. Angel rose and jerked Ashleigh by the hand. He threw her out of the apartment.
“Make sure you’re there,” he snarled at her before closing the door in her face. She just stood there, stunned, for a moment. She would be there and she would give this Buffy girl a piece of her mind.
Buffy sat, listlessly changing the channels until the doorbell rang. She climbed heavily to her feet and walked over to the door, peeking out as she unlocked it.
“Did you order a cheese pie?” the delivery boy asked. Buffy nodded and smiled thinly at him. She would have flirted with him, had she not been so depressed. She handed him the money and he handed over the pizza. She thanked him and closed the door.
She walked over and set the pizza on the counter. Cordy’s apartment was set up so that when you first walked in, you walked into the living room/dining room. The kitchen was seperated for the two by a counter shapped in an L. There was a TV, a couch, an easy chair, and a coffee table in the living room. The dining room table was set on the side, perpendicular to the couch. Cordelia’s office and the place where Buffy was sleeping was off to the side of the kitchen. Cordelia’s room was down the hall from the front door and the bathroom connected her room with Buffy’s. It was a cozy little place, Buffy realized as she looked around, well lit and very well decorated. She smiled lightly.
Nothing but the best for Cordelia Chase, Buffy thought as she went into the kitchen and pulled out two plates and two glasses from the cabinet. She set them on the counter and went over to the refrigerator, reaching in and pulling out two cans of Diet Pepsi.
Buffy heard a key in the lock and looked up to see Cordelia enter. She smiled at her and carried the plates, glasses, cans of soda, and pizza over to the table. Cordelia sat down opposite of her and reached for a slice.
“So, how’d it go?” Buffy asked, looking intently at her pizza.
“He’s dropping by tomorrow at one. He wanted to bolt right down here and I’m guessing do some major groveling, but I told him not to. And I told Ashleigh to come too so you can kick her ass,” Cordelia told her as she took a sip of her soda. Buffy didn’t say another word about him as they finished eating and wrapped up the extra slices.
They went and sat on the couch and began to catch each other up on everything while MTV played in the background. Buffy told Cordelia about how Willow and Xander were, glad that they had all made their peace at graduation. Cordelia told her about her part time job at a major boutique and promised Buffy they’d go see it and buy some new clothes. They talked about their college plans and about Cordelia’s new sort-of boyfriend.
“Oh, he’s great, his name’s Gary. He’s sweet and funny and cute. Oh, did I mention he’s a film director? He wants me to star in his next movie!” Cordelia squealed. Buffy laughed, she could picture it.
“I’ll come visit you on the set,” Buffy said.
“You guys will all come visit me!! Maybe I could even get you a part in it. That would totally rock,” Cordelia replied. She then asked about Giles and the slaying and how everything was back home.
As the night wore on, they got deeper and deeper into their conversation. Cordelia confessed how much she missed Sunnydale and everyone there. She told Buffy about her tough time getting settle in L.A. and how glad she had been when she had begun working for Angel.
That was the only time his name was mentioned, Buffy would always steer the subject away from him. She just couldn’t talk about it, it was too painful. Finally, at about two in the morning they crashed. They hugged good night and went off to change for bed.
“Cordy, I really like this new you,” Buffy said as she applied her moisturizer to her face.
“You know, so do I. I look at Ashleigh now and can’t believe I was ever that shallow,” she said, then mentally kicked herself for being so stupid. Buffy’s eyes clouded for a second before she blinked.
“Yeah, I know. I said the same thing to Willow when I first met you,” Buffy laughed and Cordelia joined her. They said good night and went into their separate rooms.
Buffy looked around the room that served as Cordelia’s office. There was a computer in it and a bunch of file cabinets and shelves. Buffy really had no idea what they were for. She snuggled deeper under the thin blanket, realizing fall was definitely coming. Her thoughts drifted to Angel and tears sprung to her eyes. She wiped them away and shut her mind down, forcing herself into a restless sleep. She just prayed she wouldn’t dream of him.
In his apartment, Angel tossed and turned. He was scared. Scared he would lose her. He hadn’t meant to kiss Ashleigh, he felt absolutely no attraction towards her. He groaned and rolled over. Dawn was approaching, he could feel it creeping towards the darkness of his apartment.
“Angel!”
He jumped when he heard her cry his name, realizing she was sleeping a floor beneath him. His heightened sense of hearing was the only thing that made him hear it. He wiped tears from his eyes hastily and wondered what he was going to do.
The next morning Buffy woke up around eleven. She went into the shower and didn’t emerge from the bathroom until around 11:45, dressed and makeup perfect. Cordelia glanced up from her spot on the counter and grinned. Buffy was going to show Ashleigh a thing or two today, she could feel it.
“Sleep well?” she asked, writing a sum on a check and reaching for her coffee cup.
“Oh, just great, considering all I dreamed about was him and that girl,” Buffy replied as she poured herself a cup of coffee and spooned some sugar into it.
“I have bagels and cereal,” Cordelia said, indicating to them. Buffy walked over to the fridge and pulled the bag of bagels down. She chose a sesame one and popped it into the toaster while she poured herself some Cocoa Puffs. She grinned at Cordelia.
“I never knew you ate Cocoa Puffs,” she said. Cordelia looked up and smiled.
“Yeah, well, a girl’s gotta have her secrets,” she replied. Buffy waited for her bagel to be done, then smeared butter on it and carried it to the counter. She pulled out the other stool and ate her breakfast while watching TV.
The girls talked some more, mostly about what they thought would happen, and then Buffy excused herself. She walked into her room and made the bed. She opened the blinds and sat down on the futon, pulling her legs up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. She closed her eyes and basked in the sunlight that was hitting her back. She could hear the TV droning on in the background, some guy was trying to sell a pasta maker. She tuned him out and thought about what she would say, what she would do. The time passed quickly as she thought, and before she knew it there was a soft knock on the door to her room.
“Come in,” she said without opening her eyes. He entered slowly keeping to the shadows. He gazed at her, sitting in the sunlight. She looked so peaceful with her eyes closed, he realized this was the first time he had ever seen her in the sunlight. It played off her golden hair lightly and all he wanted to do was run to her, get down on his knees and beg for her forgiveness. But he couldn’t.
And she knew it.
She slowly opened her eyes and saw him standing as far away from the sun as possible. His eyes were on her and he had guilt and sorrow in them. Her eyes were a mask, they held no trace of emotion in them. She looked away for a moment and then back at him.
“Why?” was all she asked. The tears she had been trying to suppress began slipping down her cheeks, but she made no move to wipe them away. He knew he had to answer her, but it was so hard.
“I...” he croaked. He cleared his throat and tried again. “I have no excuse for my action, Buffy. I don’t know why I kissed her, I don’t even like her like that. I’m so sorry I hurt you...” he trailed off, looking away.
“It doesn’t matter how sorry you are, Angel. What matters is that it happened. Has there been anyone else?” she asked, angry and heartbroken at the same time. He looked at her, then quickly looked away.
“No,” he whispered.
“Well, I guess I should be glad about that,” she replied bitterly, then took a deep breath. She couldn’t keep her mask up for very long, it was starting to crumble. She couldn’t show him how vulnerable it made her, how hurt she was.
“Buffy, can I just explain?” he asked quietly. She looked at his face, seeing how hurt he was. He felt her eyes on him and looked back at her, searching. She nodded slightly.
“Ashleigh came over and wanted me to go to this club with her. I didn’t want to go at first, but I finally gave in. As we were leaving, she suddenly wobbled and looked like she was going to faint. I took her over to the couch and made her sit down. She leaned over and kissed me and I was so surprised I kissed back. Then you walked in and saw us,” he paused and took a deep breath. “I’ve had a lot of time to think about it, and the only explanation I can come up with is that I kissed her back...because I missed you.”
Buffy sat quietly for a moment, thinking about what she should say. A million things whirled around in her mind. “Didn’t Noel say that to Felicity once?” she asked.
“Huh?” he looked confused.
“Oh, sorry, pop culture reference. Look, Angel, I need to know if it will happen again,” she told him firmly. He answered immediately.
“No. It won’t.”
She stood and slowly closed the blinds so he could stop cowering in the corner. “Are you sure?” she asked in a small voice as she dropped the facade she had been holding. “Because I’m scared it will, Angel,” she whispered as he walked over to her and enveloped her in a hug. She clung to him tightly, then looked back up at him. “I’m scared you’ll find someone and you’ll love them more than you love me.”
He just gazed at her, awed at how good she was at masking her true feelings. He leaned down and kissed her, silencing all the doubt she had. He broke off gently and looked at her. “Buffy, that’s just simply impossible.”
She looked up at him, her big eyes full of unshed tears. She blinked and they cascaded down her cheeks. He took her face in his hands and gently wiped the tears away with the pads of his thumbs. She leaned into his caress and he pulled her face forward to kiss her forehead.
“God, Buffy, I missed you. Talking on the phone isn’t as good,” he said as he drew her in for another hug. She breathed in and buried her head in his chest, telling him without words that she felt the same way. She broke slowly away and took his hand in hers, leading him into the living room where Ashleigh and Cordelia sat drinking iced tea.
“So you’re Ashleigh, huh?” Buffy said. Ashleigh looked up and her eyes moved directly to Buffy and Angel’s linked hands. She looked back at Buffy with a cool confidence that Buffy used to associate with Cordelia.
“And you must be Buffy. Funny how Angel never mentioned you,” she replied in a semi-haughty voice. Buffy just smiled sweetly.
“Yeah, isn’t that something. Tell me, Ashleigh, do you know what he is?” she asked.
“Of course I do. He’s a vampire with a soul,” she said with a smirk.
“I’m gonna tell you a little story, then. You see, I’m a Vampire Slayer. Yeah, yeah, I know what you’re gonna say, I should’ve killed him, right?” she said when she saw Ashleigh’s face. “Well, I didn’t. We fell in love and one night we made love.” She leaned closer to Ashleigh. “Guess what, honey. I made him so happy he lost his soul. Bet you can’t say the same. We restored his soul, got back together, and then he decided to move here. Now this might be a hard concept for you to grasp, but we’re still in love. You know, distance makes the heart grow fonder? Cheesy, I know. But very true. So the moral of my little story is keep your hands off my boyfriend. Or else.”
Ashleigh just sat, sipping her iced tea and looking from Buffy to Angel. She had a bored expression on her face. “Are you done?” she asked.
Buffy turned to Angel. “How can you put up with her?” He shrugged.
“She hangs with Cordy, and since I’m around Cordy a lot, I’m around her a lot. Plus she’s always really nice to me.”
“Okay, Buffy. Whatever. I’ll stay away from your little boyfriend,” she said as she drained the last of her iced tea and stood to leave. “Angel, when you want a real woman, give me a call. Cor, I’ll talk to you later.”
She strode over to the door and gave Buffy another look before leaving.
“Hmm...reminds me of someone I used to know,” Buffy teased Cordelia. She laughed.
“Yeah, yeah. I know. But at least I stayed away from him. She probably won’t give up,” Cordelia replied.
“Keep an eye on her for me, will you?” Buffy asked.
“Of course I will.”
Buffy turned to Angel. “And you. If I ever hear of you with that bitch again, I’ll come here and stake you myself,” she said playfully. He grinned.
“Angel, Buffy and I have tickets to that Jenna Elfman play and we have an extra. Gary’s coming too. Care to join us?” Cordelia asked.
“Yeah, sure. I don’t have anything better to do,” he replied.
“Okay, well I gotta go to the market to get some stuff, then check in and make sure the store is managing without me. Why don’t you two stay and talk?” she suggested as she went into her room and got her purse. “I should be back around four. The play’s at eight and we’re going out to dinner at six thirty. Two hours should be plenty of time to get ready,” she said as she walked to the door. “Have fun!”
Buffy and Angel talked at length about what had happened and they finally decided they could see other people, as long as they were honest about it. They both knew that they loved each other more than anything in the world and nobody would change that. They joked about having to meet the people the other was dating to make sure they were good enough. They talked seriously about their relationship. Angel hinted that he was thinking of returning to Sunnydale in a couple of years and Buffy told him she would be waiting.
Cordelia came home to find them snuggling on the couch watching Rosie O’Donnell. She smiled at how happy her friends were and saw that they were truly happy when they were together. She silently wished that one day they would be able to be together again.
They got dressed and went out to dinner. Buffy instantly liked Gary and they soon got into a conversation about his new movie that he wanted Cordelia to star in. She just glowed and it was obvious she really liked him. The play was wonderful and when they got home Cordelia and Buffy stayed up late talking again.
The next few days they shopped, spent time together, and went out at night with Gary and Angel. Buffy slayed a few vampires and when she left she felt refreshed. She and Angel had had a wonderful time and had talked a lot more. She felt like she was leaving with their relationship on a good note.
She saw Ashleigh again when she saved her life from a vampire. They talked a little and seemed to be getting along well.
She said goodbye to her friends, old and new, and her eternal love. She grinned as she drove towards Sunnydale and couldn’t wait to go back for another visit, hopefully next time with the entire Scooby Gang.