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“Buffy. Buffy, you should get up. You have to go to school.” Buffy groaned and stretched before she realized she was not in her bed and it was not her mother’s voice telling her to wake up. It was Angel’s.
Buffy’s eyes flew open and looked at Angel, who was standing beside the bed—beside *his* bed. The clock said 7:00 AM.
“What’s going on?” Buffy demanded. Angel shouldn’t be here. Shouldn’t even EXIST. And she hadn’t gone back. He smiled slightly.
“I know I’m out of practice, but I did think I was a LITTLE memorable,” he said. Her eyes widened and she blushed, then smiled as she pushed herself into a sitting position, clutching the blankets to her. Despite everything that had happened—perhaps because of it—she suddenly felt shy.
“I-I didn’t mean THAT. But-why are you still here?” Buffy asked, still slightly muddled from sleep. Angel arched his eyebrows.
“I do live here,” he pointed out. Buffy’s blush deepened.
“I-I-oh, I can’t explain what I mean. I need to talk to Giles.”
“You’re going to tell GILES-—” Angel began, but Buffy cut him off, realizing what he thought she meant.
“Not about THAT. About something else. But school starts at eight and I have to go home and change first, so . . .”
“You have to go,” Angel finished for her. Buffy nodded and started to get out of bed before she realized that she wasn’t wearing anything. She blushed and clutched at the blankets again.
“My clothes?” she asked. Angel picked up a neatly folded pile and handed it to her before he turned away. She blushed at her own shyness, but began to get dressed. And idea occured to her.
“Angel,” she said. He almost turned but stopped himself. She made a face. “It’s all right,” she assured him. He turned, then stopped suddenly when he saw her. She was wearing her bra and underwear. And nothing else.
“I-uh-I—” he began. She smiled.
“I love you,” she said, then picked up her dress and pulled it over her head. “And I have to go. She walked towards him. “But I’ll come back. Could you zip me up?” He was startled by her sudden change of subject, but immediately obeyed. His hand brushed her back as he zipped the dress up, and then he ran it lightly along the back of her neck. Buffy shivered and turned to kiss him.
“Last night-was-the-most-incredible experience-of my-life,” she said between kisses.
“You cried-the-entire-time,” he said.
“Joy,” she said, pulling him with her towards the door so they didn’t have to stop kissing. “Well-actually-not. Can’t-explain-now. Come back-tonight. Promise.”
“Sure-you’re-all right?” Angel asked, also between kisses.
“Will-be I-think. Thank-you. I-love-you,” Buffy said, opening the door with one hand while she ran the other through his hair. The door opened and she pulled away, and through it, into the light.
“I love you too,” he whispered.
“Tonight,” she promised, and then was gone, into the light where he couldn’t follow.
“Buffy! What are you doing here?” Joyce Summers asked as her daughter walked in the front door.
“I um . . . forgot a change of clothes,” Buffy said quickly.
“How was Willow’s?” Joyce asked.
“Willow’s?” Buffy asked blankly.
“The place you stayed last night,” Joyce prompted, looking suspicious.
“Of course! I knew that! I’m just a little tired,” Buffy said.
“You told me you would actually get some sleep!” Joyce said.
“We did! We went to bed really early. It’s just I’ve been sort or stressed lately and I couldn’t sleep well. I really have to go change though, so can we talk about this later?” Buffy asked anxiously. She HAD to talk to Giles before school started! Joyce frowned, then sighed.
“I can give you a ride Buffy,” she said. Buffy shook her head quickly.
“It’s not that! It’s just that I have to-um-have to-talk to a teacher before class starts!” Buffy exclaimed. Joyce gave her an appraising look.
“I’m glad to see you taking an interest in classes,” she said carefully.
“Oh yeah. I’ve been working really hard to keep up in my classes, and I just need to ask one question . . .” Buffy said quickly. Joyce eyed her strangely.
“Who are you and what have you done with my daughter?” she asked.
“Mom!” Buffy exclaimed. Joyce made a shooing motion.
“Go! Go!” she said. Buffy flashed her a smile and dashed up the stairs.
She returned two minutes later in knee length skirt with slits up the sides, a tank top and a matching cardigan. Her hair was twisted up on her head and her make-up was redone.
“You should eat something, Buffy,” Joyce said as Buffy began to head out the door.
“I ate at Willow’s,” Buffy lied. Joyce eyed her suspiciously.
“You know, you don’t need to diet. You’re plenty thin,” she said.
“I’m not dieting Mom! Can I please go?” Buffy asked.
“How long will your question take? I’ll be ready in five minutes. Just grab a bowl of cereal while I get ready,” Joyce said.
“If I had my driver’s license . . .” Buffy trailed off suggestively.
“We’ve talked about this Buffy. I don’t think you’re ready,” Joyce said.
“Mom, I’m almost seventeen,” Buffy pointed out.
“Still . . . if you were more responsible maybe, but—”
“But we’ve had this discussion before and we’ll have it again and I have to go,” Buffy interupted. Joyce sighed but nodded. Buffy smiled in relief and kissed her mother’s cheek.
“I love you Mom,” she said, then ran out the door.
“Giles!” Buffy called the second she entered the library, looking around frantically for her Watcher.
“Buffy!” she heard from upstairs. She went towards the stairs and came face with the librarian.
“Angel!” she said quickly.
“Vampire with a soul,” Giles answered just as quickly. “Buffy, you didn’t—”
“No. I didn’t,” Buffy said. “Exactly WHAT I didn’t is rather unclear. But I know that I did not. First of all, I know that I didn’t go back to seventeen fifty three. And since I didn’t go back I couldn’t very well kill Darla. Or not kill her. Or anything. That’s not the problem. The problem is WHY didn’t I go back and WHAT is going on?”
“Did you do anything that might alter history? Did you talk to Angel at all last night?” Giles asked.
“Of course I talked to him! I thought it might be our last night together, ever,” Buffy said, trying to hide her blush as she thought of what ELSE they had done.
“Did you say anything related to the vortex?” Giles asked.
“I asked him if—if he would rather be a vampire or never have become one at all,” Buffy said quietly.
“What did he say?” Giles asked, looking at her intently.
“He said he would rather be a vampire, because otherwise he would never have-never have . . .” Buffy trailed off.
“Oh. I-I see,” Giles said softly. There was a moment of silence.
“Well?” Buffy asked, breaking it. “Is this permanent? I’m not going to go back again?”
“Tell me exactly what happened,” Giles instructed. Buffy took a deep breath and prepared to do so . . . with a few slight ommisions.
“I went over to see Angel. During the visit I-I asked him. At-at home I managed to fall asleep and when I woke up—at 7:00 this morning, Angel was still ther—still around I mean. Like, in existence. I came as quickly as I could to talk to you. I can’t have gone back. I mean, it woke me up before, and I sincerely doubt I could have slept through a full night plus twelve hours—I’m not THAT sleep-deprived—plus, it was the middle of the day there—when I would have gone to, I mean—and I doubt they would let me sleep the whole day!” Buffy exclaimed, then abruptly closed her mouth, realizing that she was beginning to babble in her nervousness.
“I think it was Angel’s declaration. I can’t be sure that the vortex is even inactive, or that that would change it, but I suspect that it did. I thought it would have to be something in that time to change it, but I could have been mistaken. Perhaps his decision and statement of that decision made the vortex *believe* that you would let history take it’s normal course, though given the chance you might not have. It just took the chance away instead,” Giles mused.
“So this is final? I’m not going back?” Buffy asked.
“I-I believe so. That it is final, I mean. I don’t think you’ll go back again,” Giles said. Buffy let out a cry that was almost beyond the range of human hearing. Giles flinched.
“Thanks you so much Giles!” Buffy cried, leaning forward and kissing the unsuspecting Watcher on the cheek. He stared at her in shock as she proceeded to dance around the library—stopped only by the bell. He heard her crying something out to a friend in the halls as she left the library. He sighed and shook his head, knowing he would never understand her.
“You didn’t!” Willow cried. Buffy nodded hurriedly.
“Did,” she said.
“Oh my god! OH MY GOD!” Willow cried, realizing what she had just heard. They were in the library during lunch. Giles was in his office and Xander and Cordelia were noticeably absent. Neither of the girls were really noticing though.
“And now I don’t have to kill Darla or make Angel not exist—not to mention risking all your lives! I’m so happy!”
“You-you-Buffy, you’re-you and Angel . . .” Willow trailed off, still speechless. Buffy grinned.
“I know. I can hardly believe it. I mean, except that I was there and, y’ know . . . participated . . . but . . . WOW,” she said.
“Wow does not describe it,” Willow said firmly.
“I don’t know,” Buffy said. “I like it. Wow.”
“Wow,” Willow repeated, then smiled. “You’re right. There’s something to it. Wow. So what was it . . . I mean, does ‘wow’ describe it?”
“This time, ‘wow’ doesn’t come close. I don’t think there’s a word,” Buffy said. Willow’s eyes widened.
“So, we’re pleased with this?”
“Beyond pleased. We’re ecstatic,” Buffy said, then blinked. “I spend way to much time around you and Giles. ‘Ecstatic?’ Last year I would have said I was having a *major* happy.”
“Can you have a major happy?” Willow asked.
“Oh yeah. It’s easy. I mean . . . if you have something to be *majorly* happy about. Which I do,” Buffy said.
“We’re ecstatic,” Willow said, returning to the actual conversation.
“Or having a major happy. Yes,” Buffy said.
“I’m so happy for you Buffy! I can’t believe it though. I mean, you’re not a virgi—” Xander chose that moment to enter the room. Willow stopped, then started again. “Mary. You’ve never even had a Virgin Mary? They’re pretty darn good!”
“Oh, yeah, really ought to try one soon. Those Virgin Marys all the way,” Buffy said.
“So, we’re Virgin Mary people today!” Xander exclaimed.
“Oh, that’s us!” Willow exclaimed.
“So, Buff, what’s up with the Angel thing? ‘Cause I’m sensing some existence vibes,” Xander said.
“Um, it’s sort of a long story,” Buffy said, “the whole thing’s sort of up in the air. Where’ve you been anyway?” Xander began to cough heavily.
“Oh . . . around. I got held up by . . . by . . . well, it’s really not important what held me up. I’m here now!” he said. Buffy smiled a little.
“And, sorry to say, I’m gone. I really have to go to the bathroom. The girls bathroom. Where boys can’t come. Willow, would you like to join me? We can continue our conversation on . . . Virgin Marys there,” Buffy said.
“I’d love to!” Willow exclaimed. They smiled in perfect accord.
“Wait, you’re ditching me?” Xander asked.
“Sorry, but the bathroom is y’ know, the happening place,” Willow said.
“Yeah, so we really got to go. I’ll see you later . . . maybe. You know, we could go have Virgin Marys at the Bronze or something,” Buffy said, then frowned, trying to figure out what that would mean.
“Yeah, I’ll be there,” Xander said. Buffy grinned at him.
“Great, love ya. Come on Will,” she said, pulling her friend out the door. Willow waved at her long-time friend, but went willingly. Xander sighed when they were gone and wondered why he hadn’t stayed in the closet with Cordelia.
“Okay, you’re probably getting seriously annoyed with me showing up at your door unannounced, but I’m not in tears this time, so call it an upside, right?” Buffy asked as Angel opened his apartment door.
“I’m gald you came,” he said softly.
“Of course I came! I wanted to see you. See you. Not . . . you know. ‘Cause we need to have a talk. Definitely. Major talking will be happening. But right now we need to go dancing at the Bronze.”
“And this is why? What happened Buffy? Why were you so upset last night?” Angel asked worriedly.
“Mood swings!” Buffy explained cheerfully. “Well, not exactly, but that’s as good as you’re getting, so I wouldn’t pry. I have a very bad temper. If you’re not out that door in five minutes I’m going to be extremely annoyed.”
“You sound so angry,” Angel pointed out wryly. Buffy smiled broadly.
“What can I say? You just get to me that way.” She grabbed his sleeve and pulled him out of the door, closing it behind him, and kissing him before he could protest. “You look great. Let’s go.” It was true, he did look great, but then, he usually did. So did she, actually, with her hair twisted up and a new lacy gray dress on. It was tight, but stretchy so she could actually move, and went to a little below her knees, completed with a dipped neckline, a rosette and spaghetti straps.
“Shouldn’t you be patrolling?” Angel asked.
“Giles gave me the night off. He felt so ba—he’s been really nice lately. Let’s go!” Buffy exclaimed, cutting herself off before she told Angel what was really going on.
“I must say, you seem a bit more cheerful tonight,” Angel remarked, linking arms and starting towards the Bronze.
“You have NO idea!” Buffy answered, skipping. Angel laughed and they walked on together.
“Angel, when you said that all the women from your time were annoying and all, did you mean all of them? You never met one strong one?” Buffy asked later when they were dancing at the Bronze.
“I guess not. All the noble ones, I suppose, the pretty ones.”
“Are you sure?” Buffy asked. His brow furrowed in thought.
“There was one . . . she was from America I think, and someone she makes me think of you . . . but that was right before . . . she dissapeared one day, my last day. I’d forgotten her,” Angel said, frowning. Buffy reached up and smoothed the frown from his face.
“I was just wondering,” she said softly, and pulled his mouth down to hers. He kissed her passionately, and his eyes were flaming when they pulled apart.
“I think maybe we should have that discussion now,” Buffy said weakly. He nodded, his eyes never leaving hers. She took a deep breath. Expelled it. “Okay. What happened last night was . . . incredible and wonderful, but, um, possibly not something we should repeat. Not right away anyway. For one thing, it’s going to be hard convincing my mom I’m always over at Willow or Xander’s, and she’s gonna start suspecting something’s up. Secondly . . . I’m not even seventeen yet. I don’t regret last night at ALL. In fact, it was probably the single most incredible night of my life, and I mean that in an overwhelmingly good way, but it wasn’t something that probably would have happened normally. I mean . . . I was going through something last night, and I really needed . . . what happened . . . as . . . as comfort, and-and to show me how much you loved me and vice versa. If I hadn’t been going through stuff, it might never have happened. And I’m not saying I wish it hadn’t I just—”
“Think maybe we should wait?” Angel suggested softly, interupting. Buffy nodded, breathing out all at once. She looked at him anxiously, searching his eyes for signs that it was all right.
“Is that okay?” she asked anxiously. He kissed her forehead softly.
“Of course it’s all right. It’s as it should be.”
“So you think it’s a good idea too?” Buffy asked, still worrying about his approval.
“Wonderful. I love you Buffy, and nothing’s going to change that. I loved you long before last night. Though I too, enjoyed it extremely.” Buffy shivered in his arms and her knees went weak as his eyes promised her further delights the next time they should indulge.
“I was thinking . . . well, we don’t know much about vampires in that . . . that WAY. I mean, how do we know I couldn’t get pregnant or something? And there’s all these diseases now a days. I think we should really look into all that . . . and-and, well you’re a special case too, ‘cause of the curse, so maybe we should see if we can research it. I mean, there could be some special no-sex clause or something. We wouldn’t want that,” Buffy said seriously. She glanced up at him and saw his indulgent smile. “What?”
“I love you,” he told her, a smile on his lips and truth in his dark eyes. She stopped and kissed him in the middle of the dance floor, murmuring the words into his mouth.
“I love you Angel. I know you and I love you.” And when they were done, Buffy rested her head on Angel’s chest and let herself simply dance, completely happy in his arms, knowing she would never have to destroy him.