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“Willow,” Buffy said to her computer as she slid into the seat in front of it. She only had a few people programmed into her automatic dialer, but Willow was at the top of the list. She had never liked computers much and she still didn’t. Especially since the Moloch thing (though that had, admittedly, been a long time ago). It was nice to be able to talk to Willow face to face, even when she was two states away.
“Hello?” a familiar voice said and a moment later Willow appeared in front of her, her office behind her. She smiled, seeing her best friend and Buffy grinned back. Willow hadn’t changed at all, though her straight red hair was now cut above her shoulders, and her clothing was . . . obviously . . . a little different. She still had the same expressions though, and the same unswerving loyalty to her friends.
“Hey Will. How are you?” Buffy asked, deciding to find out about Willow before springing all her problems. Especially Angel. Buffy still didn’t know exactly how Willow felt about the vampire, even with a soul. Which was appropriate, because she didn’t even know what SHE felt about him, much less anyone else.
“I’m great. The kids are a handful though. Alex’s decided he wants to be a rock star like ‘Uncle Oz’ when he grows up! Caitlin just read her first chapter book!” Willow said proudly, looking so like she had as a teenager confiding some secret triumph that Buffy couldn’t help laughing. “What?” Willow asked. Buffy grinned and shook her head.
“Sorry. You just looked like a teenager again . . . and you were talking about your kids. Okay, so you had to be in my head to get the joke but . . . never mind,” Buffy said, Willow still regarding her with an uncomprehending look. “Caitlin’s six now, right? Did I miss a few years?” Buffy asked, changing the subject. Willow shook her head.
“Well, she’s almost seven, but you didn’t miss anything,” Willow assured her.
“I was reading Dr. Suess when I was six!” Buffy exclaimed. Willow laughed, then titled her head and regarded Buffy with a serious look.
“So what’s going on with you Buff? You don’t look so good,” Willow said, a noted of worry entering her voice. Buffy knew that Willow had always felt slightly guilty about moving away, but she shouldn’t, really. It wasn’t her job to sit around waiting for Buffy to have a problem. And it certainly wasn’t fair to her.
“I’m okay. It’s been a bad day though . . . I think. Look Willow, I have something to tell you, but I don’t know if—oh, that’s my other line. Let me put you on hold for just a second,” Buffy said, clicking a button. Willow’s face on the screen froze and went gray, showing that she couldn’t see or hear Buffy anymore, but she was still there. Buffy pushed another button and said,
“Buffy here.” The picture took a second, but Buffy smiled when she saw it. Well, Cordelia had always liked to make a fashionably late entrance. And it was like her to call when exercising (after all, she was “busy much”).
“Hey, I’m glad you’re home,” Cordelia said. She had changed, though only in appearance. Her once chestnut hair was now blond-streaked, and only a couple of inches long, curling about her face in the latest style (which she, incidentally, had started). Her eyes were lavender (for the moment), but still held the same inherent good nature, and her nose was slightly smaller and imperceptibly straighter (not that she had needed the nose job). Her smile was the same though (mostly), and so was the pleasure to see an old friend.
“Me too. Willow’s on the other line and I’m going to connect both of you, so we can all talk. Wait just a second,” I said. Cordelia nodded, smiling to know that Willow was there too. Though they’d been arch-enemies in high school their relationship had smoothed out a lot when Cordelia turned over a new leaf (after her boyfriend was killed by vampires), and certain events had brought them close.
Buffy pushed a couple of buttons and then they were both there, smiling at her and at each other.
“Cordy!” Willow exclaimed.
“Willow!” Cordelia cried right back at her. Buffy grinned at the reunion, then realized she would now have to tell them both, and that would be even worse than just Willow. If she didn’t know how Willow felt, she had no idea of Cordelia’s feelings for Angel. There was a few minutes of catching up, and Cordelia confessed that she wasn’t sure if this marriage would last longer than the other ones.
“Geoff is such a sweetheart, I really like him, and he’s a great guy,” Cordelia said, then hesitated. “It’s like all the others though. I always think that I love them, for real, but once we’re married there always seems to be something missing. I don’t know. They all worship me, you know. Sometimes I wish they didn’t. Xander was the only one that looked at me like a real person.” Cordelia sighed, then made a face. “Depressing much!” she exclaimed, then “turned” to Buffy.
“So what’s up? I mean this in a good way, really, but you look like hell Buff,” Cordelia said. Buffy laughed good-naturedly and Willow smiled.
“Thanks,” she said dryly.
“Buffy was just going to tell me something, so you have perfect timing,” Willow piped up. Buffy sighed. No getting around it now.
“There’s no good way to say this really. You see, Angel’s back.” There was a stunned look on each of their faces, though Cordelia recovered first. Buffy continued on quickly, “Not back for good or anything. He came to warn me. There’s this really bad new vampire in town. He’s here to help, but I don’t know what to do. I still love him, but I don’t know if I can forgive him,” she said softly, not looking straight at the monitor. She felt better having said it, and these were the only two people in the world she could have said it to. These might also be the worst two people in the world to say it to. Cordelia was the first to speak.
“Are you sure you still love him? ‘Cause if you do, you should give him a second chance. I mean—”
“It wasn’t really him right?” Willow interrupted, and Cordelia nodded emphatically. “It was the demon—”
“In his body!” Cordelia finished. Willow nodded. Buffy looked at each of them.
“Are you sure? If both of you forgive him than I have to, because you both loved him . . .” Buffy trailed off.
“You loved him too!” Willow protested. Buffy nodded. It was true. She had loved Xander, but as a friend. Cordelia had loved him as a lover, and Willow . . . well even Buffy didn’t know how Willow had felt at the end. Whether she loved him as a man or as a friend, Xander and Willow had known each other since birth, practically. All of Willow’s childhood stories had Xander in them. They had done everything together. Xander knew Willow as well as she knew herself, except for one thing. He hadn’t known how much she loved him. He had never known. And Willow had gotten over him. At least, Buffy always thought so. Until it happened. Then she wasn’t so sure.
“But I can’t forgive by myself,” Buffy said. “And I want to, I want to so much.”
“Give him a chance Buff,” Willow said softly.
“You’ve had enough problems. You deserve SOME happiness. He’d want you to be happy,” Cordelia seconded, for once her voice serious.
“Thank you,” Buffy said, looking at the two of them. Her best friends. “Thank you so much.” She hadn’t realized till then how much she needed their forgiveness to forgive.
“Okay, so what’s the deal with this new vamp?” Cordelia asked a minute later, breaking the silence. Buffy smiled, then turned serious. Annwyl was not a smiling matter. She told them.
“Ick!” Cordelia exclaimed when she was done. “So she drank the blood of all those Slayer’s?”
“ ‘Fraid so,” Buffy replied.
“And she has all their power?” Willow asked. “That could be bad.”
“Understatement of the year!” Cordelia exclaimed. “And I thought only Xander was good at those! Wait a minute, if she has all the power of these Slayers, doesn’t that mean that all you have to do is take it away to be able to fight her pretty fairly?” Buffy shook her head originally, than looked up at Cordelia as she got the full import of what the other woman had said.
“Right! Thank you Cordy! Thank you SO much!” Buffy exclaimed. Cordelia shrugged, obviously pleased with herself.
“Easy much! Besides, I want you to be okay,” she said.
“I’ll research spells on the Net,” Willow said. “I bet I can find something that will do that.” Buffy heaved a sigh of relief.
“Would you do that? You’re such a doll! Jon—I told you about Jon, didn’t I?—well, he’s good with computers, but no one has your touch Will,” Buffy said. Willow grinned.
“Darn tootin’!” she exclaimed. Buffy and Cordelia laughed, while Willow looked confused.
“What?” she asked plaintively. Buffy shook her head, still laughing.
“Nothing,” she gasped out between giggles. My, she was feeling like a teenager today. Her boyfriend from high school reappeared, she skipped classes, went to the Bronze, and here she was talking on the phone and giggling like a kid again.
They talked for a while about Annwyl and Angel and life, as well as reminiscing about high school, but all three were tired and they didn’t stay up TOO long. Buffy was going into her room to change for bed when she heard the knock. She was on the alert instantly, then relaxed when she remembered she had invited Angel over.
Buffy went to the door and opened it, feeling the same familiar rush when she saw him again. There was a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach when she looked at him.
“Come in,” Buffy said, stepping back and letting him in. He stepped inside, looking around the apartment curiously. It was pretty plain on the whole. There were a few old books on the coffee table and some half-whittled stakes lying around, but on the whole her apartment gave no indication of her profession. There was, Angel noticed, a large empty space in the living room. Probably for doing her daily exercises, though she could probably do them wherever she taught too.
“How did the research go?” Buffy asked, wondering what he thought of the room.
“Not very well. We haven’t come up with anything yet,” Angel said.
“Well I have. Or rather, Cordelia has. I was talking to her on the computer and she suggested drawing away the Slayer’s power from Annwyl somehow. That would make her just a pretty powerful vampire, right? Not a Master.” Angel thought about for a minute, then nodded.
“If we could figure out a way to do it, then yes, it would probably work,” he said finally.
“We’ll just have to find a way to do it then. I’ll call Giles quickly and tell him. Oh, and you might want to stay away from the cat, she doesn’t like vampires,” Buffy warned. Lilith had pretty good senses when it came to danger. It probably came from being a witch’s familiar, though many animals had some sort of third sense about vampires.
“It’s a little late,” Angel said, his voice amused. Buffy looked down and saw Lilith twining herself through the vampire’s legs.
“That’s strange. She usually attacks vampires, or at least hisses and spits!” Buffy exclaimed.
“Well she seems pretty happy now,” Angel pointed out. Indeed, the black cat was almost purring. “I guess she distinguishes between those with souls and those without.”
“She was a witch’s familiar, but her owner had to . . . take a little trip out of town. I sort of inherited her. She’s good company. Her name’s Lilith,” Buffy informed him.
“Like the demon?” Angel asked.
“Just like,” Buffy said. “I really should call Giles before he goes to sleep, if he ever does.” Buffy called quickly, leaving Angel to get to know the cat. She’d never seen him with an animal, that she could remember. They were usually afraid of him. Giles seemed delighted with the idea and promised to get right to work on it. Buffy told him to take a nap first, then hung up.
“I’m ready for bed,” she told Angel. “You can sleep on the couch if you get tired.” Vampires didn’t need as much sleep. Angel could go for days, but it would probably be a good idea to get some rest while he had time. “There’s an extra key hanging up over there, in case you want to go out.” Angel nodded, looking where she pointed to the key rack.
“Good night then,” she said after a moment of silence.
“Good night,” he said. She stood there, watching him, then turned to go into what he assumed was the bedroom. She turned back suddenly.
“I love you Angel. I always have and I always will,” she said softly. He stood very still, afraid to move in case this wasn’t real. In case she wasn’t really telling him that she loved him. As he stood there she turned back and went into her dark room, closing the door behind her.
Buffy leaned against the door without turning the light on. He hadn’t said anything. He hadn’t reached out to her or anything. Yet
she knew he loved her. He had said so, earlier. Could she believe him? Could she believe herself?