Part 4

Rupert Giles rubbed his eyes tiredly and glanced out the window.  The golden rays of the sun began to peek from behind the horizon.  It seemed like days since he began his search for information about their disappearance, but it was in fact only hours.  He had looked through every book he owned that pertained to Magick, and could not find anything relating to what happened the previous night.  Oz, too, helped with the search.  He was no Willow, but he searched the Internet the best he could and found no clues.  According to all research, there were no magical occurrences that involved the sudden disappearance of people into thin air, or any with bright lights and gusty winds.

Giles was at the end of a very short rope.  He had run out of options, and desperation became a factor.  As much as he hated to admit it, he had absolutely no idea what to do.  The fatigued Watcher let his forehead fall against his desktop as he silently prayed for a miracle.

It was that precise moment that he heard the female voice coming from the other room reply, “Someone called for me?”

Giles quickly jumped to his feet and raced into the main room of the library.  His eyes darted around frantically in search of the voice’s owner.  They rested on the face of a blond girl standing before him.  He remembered seeing her previously, and wondered why she was there.  Suddenly, he remembered his other job.  “Yes?” he inquired politely, “Can I help you?”

She smiled uncertainly at the librarian’s actions and waved an envelope in the air.  “Seems I have some post-graduation overdue books,” she said.  As Giles racked his brain to remember her, she handed him the answer to his problems.  In her hands she held two books, entitled ‘Magical Spells and Hexes’ and ‘Inter-dimensional Travel for Beginners’.  The knowledge flashed off in his head like a light bulb.

“You are Amy Madison, correct?” he asked.  She nodded slowly in response and glanced around cautiously.  “I need your help.”

Amy’s eyes widened in surprise.  She backed up a few steps and shook her head.  “Nuh-uh.  No way.  The last few times I got mixed up with you people, I hexed myself into falling in love with Xander, almost got burned at the stake and was stuck as a rat for months.  There’s no way I’m going to risk any of that again, no matter what you say to me.”

The librarian’s voice was strained by the weariness of his all-nighter as he said, “Willow cast a spell that made all of her friends disappear.  I don’t know what it is or where they may be, and I have no idea how to retrieve them once I do.  The only thing I’m sure of is the whole lot of them could be in grave danger.” Upon examination of her surroundings, Willow found herself to be in a very small but quaint one-room cottage.  It was sparsely furnished with a bed on one wall and two wooden chairs against another.  When she awoke, she was lying on the bed.  She remained seated there, trying to talk sense into a raging vampire.  Unfortunately, talking logic to Spike was like telling Cordelia that spandex would always be in style.  Some things could never be done.  Frustrated beyond her endless supply of patience, she crossed her arms and sighed.  “I can’t just send us back because you want me to.”

Spike’s voice rose in anger as he retorted, “You can’t! Why not?”  He paused dramatically to take an unneeded breath, then said, “I’m not really the patient sort of bloke.  And when I lose my patience, I get very angry.  Then I start ripping heads off.”

The inner Willow, the one that wasn’t a Slayer, cringed at his threat and tried to avoid his angry gaze.  She couldn’t help it, she spent her entire life being both mentally and physically too weak to fight.  Now that she could, she didn’t know how.  Even her thoughts betrayed her newfound strength.  < He’s gonna kill me.  This is really bad. >  Instead of responding to his threat, she focused her attention on a ladybug that worked its way across the floor.  Spike grabbed her arm roughly and pulled her quickly to her feet.  “Well, say something!”

“Ow!” she cried out, easily jerking her arm free from his grasp.  This time, the pain awoke her Slayer instincts.  Incensed, she stood face to face with the furious vampire and glared into his eyes.  < If only Buffy could see me now. >  She almost smiled at that thought, but she was too angry.  They lingered in that position until she spit out slowly, “I can’t fix it that easily.  It’s complicated.”  She rubbed her arm in frustration.  “I think you gave me a bruise.”

“You’re lucky that’s all I did,” he muttered.  Willow felt the anger rise in her and without a thought, her fist was pulled back and forced in the direction of Spike’s jaw.  His head was whipped back by the strength of it.

“That hurt, you know!” he exclaimed, more in shock than anger.

Willow smiled and replied in an overdone accent, “That’s the bloody point, you ninny!”

“You stupid, bloody--” Spike’s assault of words was ceased by the sight of Willow’s fist pulling back once more.  He put his hands up defensively and said, “Alright, white flag here.”  Then he growled in exasperation and walked away to look at the scenery through the window.  Her eyes were still pinned to him, trying to gauge his rapidly changing moods as well as her own.  From the moment they came in contact, Willow found herself on emotional overdrive.  She wondered if maybe she was having the same effect on him.

He turned back to her, but this time he looked nauseated.

“Everything’s so damned pretty,” he said with disgust.  Then he looked over to Willow. She had stopped what she was doing and examined him with a puzzled look on her face.  “What?” he asked testily.

Willow tried to respond, but she was speechless.  She pointed at him, but he still didn’t catch on.  “I didn’t notice it before, but now I get it.”

“What?” he asked again, frustration clearly shown on his face.

“You’re in sunlight!  That’s why everything looks so different to you!”  She grinned when she saw the realization dawn on his face.  Spike looked around in shock for a moment, then down at his own living body.  He was breathing again.  It felt so natural to his now-human body that he didn’t even notice.  The ex-vampire frowned as he took in Willow’s scrutinizing gaze.

“I need a cigarette,” he grumbled.

Willow was confused.  “Aren’t you happy?  You get to be human again.”  < Don’t all vampires want to be human? >

Spike seemed to know exactly where she was coming from.  “Happy?  Why would I be happy?  Forget what those damned Anne Rice novels tell you.  We like our gig, vampires do.  I’ve been like this for over a hundred years and I loved every minute of it.  Me and my demon are old chums!  So stop trying to make me feel good about having it gone.”  He patted his pockets, searching for his nicotine fix, but stopped when he caught Willow’s expression.  She tilted her head to the side.  Her sharp eyes were slightly closed yet she dissected his every move.  “What?” he asked self-consciously.

“I…” Willow paused in her statement, trying to think of the right way to approach a response.  < There isn’t one. >  She took a breath, then said, “I don’t believe you.” He furrowed his brows and looked away.

“So maybe I missed the sun a little.  What of it?” he mumbled.  Willow just laughed and shook her head.

“You can admit it.  I won’t tell anyone.”  The redhead didn’t wait for his response.  Strangely, his newfound humanity made her feel a more comfortable around him. It meant that he was less likely to hurt her.  Feeling more upbeat, she looked out the window in search for any sign of Buffy or Angel.  From the window, she could tell the cottage sat alone on a mountainside. That was about it. Willow closed her eyes, mumbled a few Latin phrases, and mentally searched the area.

“So how do be get out of this hellhole?” Spike said, interrupting the silence.  He eyed her uneasily when he saw her casting.  “What are you doing?”

“Well, for one, I’m looking for Buffy and Angel.  Second, I’m looking for the breach between both worlds.”

“A breach?  Can’t you just say the words and send us back to Sunnyhell?”

Willow opened her eyes and turned to him.  “I told you it was complicated.  All that’s required to get into this world is a spell.  To get back, we have to face whatever this world throws at us.  I’m assuming there’s going to be a portal of some kind that will open the door to our world.  But…” She cut herself off and looked off into the distance.

“But what?” he drawled.

“I’ve been wrong before,” she responded softly. He watched her in silence as she closed her eyes and proceeded to chant.

Hours later, Cordelia and Angel were still walking down the gold path.  The sun was slowly descending behind the horizon.  Nightfall would arrive soon, and Cordelia was not excited about discovering the beasties that resided in ‘Magick Land’.  Even so, she needed to rest.  They came to a narrow bridge and the brunette grabbed Angel’s arm, stopping him from walking.  “Slow down, already.  I can’t walk that fast in these shoes.”  She gestured to the chunky heels she wore in anticipation of a research-filled evening.  They weren’t exactly hiking material, and her painfully throbbing feet could vouch for that.

Angel looked apologetic.  “I’m sorry. I just want to find a way out of here before dark,” he said.  Cordelia nodded in agreement, trying to massage the pain from her feet.

“Angel, I was just wondering…if we’re in another dimension, are we going to see ourselves here?  Like the other dimension, where the skanky version of Willow came from?”

Angel’s eyebrows furrowed as he contemplated her answer.  “I don’t think so. I don’t think this is another dimension in that sense.  I think it’s just like being on another planet,” he said.

Out of nowhere, Cordelia felt something grab her arm and she shrieked.  The Slayerette immediately jumped away from the edge of the bridge, running into Angel.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Something touched me!” she cried out frantically and pointed to where she previously sat.  He followed her finger and walked to the edge of the bridge.  Below, he saw a figure standing.  It was a short pudgy creature with the ugliest face he had ever seen.  Cordelia crept up behind Angel and peered over his shoulder.  “Well aren’t you Miss America,” she said disgustedly.

The creature snorted, “Not too bad yourself.  I don’t know who you think you are, but you’re trespassing.”  He pointed to a sign at his left that marked private property.

Angel raised his arms defensively; “We didn’t mean any harm.  We just want to get across and find our friends.”

“Ha. Well you need to find another way.  This bridge is off limits,” the troll informed them snidely.  Cordy raised an eyebrow.  She didn’t like anyone, especially nasty little trolls, telling her what she could and could not do.  ‘Queen Cordelia’ stepped in front of Angel and haughtily flipped her hair over her shoulder.

“Off limits?” she scoffed.  “What is this, one of those ‘Billy Goat Gruff’ thingies? Look here, Mister Ugly Troll person.  I’ve been walking around all day long…in these shoes!”  The brunette made a face as the troll grimaced in mock sympathy. It was a hideous sight.  She proceeded, “We’re just trying to find a way around these stupid lakes.  That’s it, so why don’t you just crawl back into that dark hole you came from and let us pass.”  She glared at him, one hand on her hip with a practiced look of impatience.

Angel grimaced at her tirade and grabbed her arm.  “Making fun of him isn’t going to help us,” he hissed quietly to her.  She rolled her eyes in response.  Gently, Angel pulled her away from the troll’s line of vision.  He gave the fuming troll his most charming smile and said, “Okay, so you don’t want to help us out of the goodness of your heart.  Well, maybe we can come up with some sort of deal.”  The troll’s eyes lit up with interest and he scratched his chin, trying to look nonchalant.

“Be specific,” Ugly replied.  The wheeling and dealing on Angel’s part made Cordelia a little nervous, but she remained silent.  < Angel wants to take over, that’s fine with me. >

Angel walked over to the edge of the bridge and sat on its concrete guardrail.  “We’ll do you a favor, then you can do us the favor of letting us cross.”

“And why would I do that?” came the troll’s response.

Cordelia crossed her arms and bit her lower lip to hold back a retort.  She tilted her head questioning at Angel, who returned the look with a wink.  Then he turned back to the troll and gave it the charming smile again.  “Because we won’t leave you alone until you do,” he said, his words dripping with sugary sweetness.  Cordy smirked.  She didn’t spend too much time around Angel due to his famed talent for brooding and disappearing, so she never really got a chance to see him in action.  The Slayerette immediately decided that Angel was a good guy to have around.

She reconsidered that thought upon seeing the troll’s eyes narrow dangerously.  Still, Ugly said, “Okay, fine.  You do me a favor, and I’ll let you cross.”

Buffy and Xander continued down their own path for hours before they finally stopped to rest.  The sun still shone brightly overhead, causing them to feel more exhausted. Buffy frowned as she looked at the castle.  It seemed no matter how far they walked, they weren’t getting any closer.

“Are you okay, Xand?” She asked, glancing at her friend who sat against a tree.  He looked drained, but shrugged indifferently and leaned back against the tree.

“I guess it would help if I had an idea where we were,” he replied.

“I know. But there’s got to be a good explanation.  It has to do with Willow, I know that.  I just wish I knew how.”  She plopped down on the tree beside him and stretched out her legs.  “And why us?  Why didn’t Oz come with us?  Why aren’t Angel and Cordelia here?”  She rubbed her eyes and looked at Xander.  He was looking at the flowers with fascination.  The expression on his face made her forget her line of questioning.  “What are you doing?” she asked curiously.

“Seeing how it feels to be crazy,” he said with a slight nod.  Buffy laughed.  As her friend, Xander always managed to cheer her up at the hardest times of her life.  Of all the people she could have been stuck with, she was glad it was he.  To most people, Xander Harris was merely the class clown who thought more with his hormones than with his brain.  The Slayer knew underneath that protective layer of sarcasm was a strong, intelligent, and loyal ally that had continuously proven he could hold his own and adjust to any given situation.  She jumped to her feet and smiled encouragingly.

“So are you ready to continue?  I know you’re tired, but the sooner we get there the better.”  She reached down and pulled him to his feet.  Xander wiped the dirt off his pants and looked up at Buffy.  He froze and Buffy waved a hand in front of his face.  “Xander.  You still with me?  What’s your problem?” It took her only seconds to realize that he was looking behind her.  She turned slowly and saw what he was looking at.

Then she screamed.

Willow and Spike sat in the tiny cottage trying to look busy, only glancing at each other now and then.  Spike felt somewhat lost.  He had spent centuries being the evil creature that he was.  He prided himself on his strength and reputation as a dangerous fiend.  Now that it was all stripped away, he didn’t know who he was.  The blond glanced at Willow, but turned away quickly when he caught her gaze.  She frowned.

“Look, Spike, If we’re going to get out of here, we need to help each other.  We obviously don’t have any trust.  You’ve done too many bad things for me to do that.  And you don’t trust me because right now I’m a lot stronger than you are.  But in order to get anything accomplished, we need to make a truce.”  When she finished talking, Spike stopped what he was doing and watched her, amused.  She halted as well, and looked back at him to see the smirk on his face.  “I really hate you,” she mumbled.  Even without his extended vampire senses, Spike could hear her statement.  It surprised him that even as a human he could get under her skin, but above that it was comical.  He fought to keep from laughing, settling on a patronizing grin instead.  Willow grimaced and said, “Just promise me you won’t do anything stupid, okay?”

She waited patiently as he thought over her proposal.  Spike knew that she had the skills of a Slayer, which was why he chose her to do the spell.  The girl could have killed him long ago, and he realized that as well.  He couldn’t hurt her, especially as a human, and if he did he would never get home.  It occurred to him that he needed her a lot more than she needed him.  There really was no decision to make.

“Deal,” he said eventually.  She held out her hand to him, prepared to shake on it.  He stared at it blankly for a minute, then said, “Don’t trust my word, pet?”

“I don’t trust anything about you,” she said with such complete honesty that it reminded him of Buffy.  “Hence the deal?”  She looked into his eyes, then glanced down at her hand, waiting for him to take it.

“What makes you think that a little handshake is going to stop me from killing you?” he asked with a smirk.  She grinned and raised an eyebrow.  Her mysterious attitude was making the handshake all the more appealing.

“You’ll see,” she said and she gestured back down to her hand.  He stared at it again, apprehensive.  Spike didn’t trust her any more than she trusted him.  Unfortunately, his curiosity won out.  He reached for her hand, and Willow’s smile widened as she began to chant in Latin.  Their hands touched and she grasped his tightly.  Confused as to her sudden reaction, he tried to pull away and failed.  Electricity ran from his palm to his heart, and for a moment he was frozen.  Gold light radiated from their hands and surrounded them both.  Then, as quickly as it had come, it faded away.  He was finally able to pull his hand away.

“Why do I suddenly feel like I’ve sold my soul?” he asked rhetorically as he examined his hand.  Spike’s living heart was beating frantically within his chest, and his head spun in reaction to the intensity of the moment.

“I’m no devil and your soul’s only temporary, anyway.  All I did was guarantee you wouldn’t break our deal,” Willow responded.  Then she shrugged and turned away from him to look out the window.  She could see a beautiful view of the region below.  She could also see that the sun was beginning to set.  Darkness would bring out the creatures of the night, and they would not be safe on the path.  “We’d be better off staying here for the night.  We can find Buffy, Angel, and the breach tomorrow.”

“What the hell makes you think I’m going to take orders from you?” Spike asked defiantly.  She turned slowly and looked at him with child-like twinkling eyes.  Then she smiled.

“You kinda have to now, don’t ya?  I threw in a couple extras on our deal.  Guess I forgot to fill you in on that.”  Her face turned innocent, and she batted her eyelashes at him mockingly.  His emotions switched from confusion to anger.  < How dare the witch trick me like that! >  Spike realized he was angrier about being caught off guard than he was at the act itself.  He thought Willow seemed to be the meek and innocent type, so he assumed she would accept his authority.  He was wrong, and now he was the one accepting her lead and there wasn’t a thing he could do about it.  < There’s some bleedin’ irony for you. >

The fiery redhead turned and stood in front of him, laughing.  “You didn’t really think you could win, did you?”  He stared at her in shock.  This was not the girl he kidnapped those many months ago.  He didn’t know what happened to her in that short time, but she was different.  The shy little girl from a while back would never stand before him like she did, her eyes glittering with a mixture of spirit and mischief.  Yet underneath that was still some of vulnerability and innocence from before.  It was a strange combination, but on her it seemed to fit.  Spike immediately decided he liked the improved Willow.  Once again, he was explaining himself to her.

Spike cleared his throat and said, “It was never about winning, luv.”  He meant to keep it at that, but he found himself continuing, “All I wanted was to make Drusilla happy.  Kidnapping you was a means to an end.  I just want her back.  I love her so much and I just… I don’t know who I am without her.”

Willow’s expression of triumph changed as he spoke. Green eyes filled with an emotion he could not place.  She appeared thoughtful for a moment, then said honestly, “You didn’t love Drusilla and she didn’t love you.  Even I could see that.”  < What?  Where the hell did she get that idea? >  Spike was about to protest when she cut him off.  “I know it hurts to say it, but it’s the truth.  She cheated on you first with Angelus, and then with a Chaos Demon.  There were probably others.  And you… the only reason you were with her was because you felt you needed to protect her.  And you’re wrong about something else, too.  She didn’t make you who you are.  You are the exact same person you’ve always been, except now that she’s gone, you’re not afraid to be him.  ” This time, Spike was so surprised by her rationale that he could say nothing.  He didn’t find his tongue until after she spun on her heels and began walking towards the door.

“Well, I didn’t ask you!”  The man shouted after her.  “What would you know of love?  You’ve spent all your life pining away for a boy who doesn’t even know who you really are.  And don’t even consider that little romance you have going with that werewolf to be love.  Face it, Red.  You haven’t had one relationship that held a candle to what Dru and I had.”  She stopped walking but kept her back to him as she listened to his words.  She turned slowly and he saw the tears begin to form in her eyes.  Her voice was calm and velvety as she spoke; yet it rose with her words.  It gave him the chills.

“You don’t know a damn thing about me, Spike.  You see, and you presume, and you understand nothing.  Maybe Xander and I aren’t meant for each other.  Maybe what Oz and I have is not true love, but at least I’m brave enough to admit it.  At least I’m strong enough to let go when I know it’s over.  When will you?”

He turned away from her questioning eyes and stared off into the distance, focusing on nothing.  Spike felt his fists clenching and unclenching, but he didn’t realize he was causing it.  He felt anger, but he didn’t know why.  < Maybe because she’s right.  All Dru did was hurt you and you let her like a bloody fool. >  He growled.  < NO!  Don’t listen to her. Dru loved you. >  He looked back at her and saw that she was staring at him.  She had stopped herself from showing him that she was hurt.

Now she was looking at him with that thoughtful expression he had seen earlier, head tilted slightly.  She didn’t seem to be waiting for a response from him, just waiting.  “You’re right.  I don’t know what love is.  I’m in no place to question your affections.  But, I just can’t accept that obsession and love are the same thing.”  With that, she turned and walked out the door, slamming it violently behind her.

“It wasn’t an obsession.  It was more,” he explained to the door in desperation.  Then he whispered to himself, “It had to be.”

Part 5
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