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She sat in the window of the dark room, basking in the pale white light of the moon that shone through the blinds. In the distance, a wolf howled in typical Sunnydale fashion. Willow tried to enjoy the night and the scenery of her hometown. She tried to be happy about her arrival back home.
She tried, but failed miserably.
The house was empty when she arrived. Her parents probably didn’t even notice she was gone. Oz was his typical self, only more so because he was worried about her disappearing again. It was sweet but suffocating. Xander and Buffy said nothing about the ‘Spike incident’, but gave her funny looks whenever Oz was nearby. Angel and Cordy were preparing for their return to LA. Spike was nowhere to be found. The whole thing was like a dream. Suddenly she was awake and nothing had changed.
A soft knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. Willow glanced up to see Cordelia standing hesitantly in the doorway. “Oh, it’s you.”
Cordelia frowned. “Well, thanks.”
“I’m sorry! It’s not that I don’t appreciate your being here, but it’s just that I was expecting < hoping for > someone else,” Willow explained quickly.
A knowing smile spread across the brunette’s face. “I know who you were expecting. A certain bleached blond vampire, for one?” Catching the crestfallen expression start to form on Willow’s face, Cordy quickly said, “Hey, it’s okay. Look, I brought comfort food!”
She triumphantly held up a small brown paper bag from which she removed two small cartons of Ben and Jerry’s ‘Bovinity Divinity’ ice cream and two spoons. “Ooh, chocolate.” Willow eagerly reached up for her share of the loot, asking, “What do you need comfort food for?”
Cordelia threw her a withering look. “You’ve met Xander, right?”
Willow’s responding expression was surprisingly sympathetic, “Fighting again, huh?”
“It’s what we do best,” the May Queen said brightly. Then she plopped down on the bed next to Willow and added somberly, “I’m sorry it didn’t work out with you and Spike.”
Willow sighed and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. The sincerity on Cordelia’s face prompted her to say more, but she wasn’t sure if she should. There was no one else to talk to, really. She had all these feelings-love for Spike, guilt over Oz-and she had no idea what to do with them, who to tell. Xander and Buffy would just get these repulsed expressions on their faces. Angel was sweet and a good friend, but he had his own problems. She had to spill to someone or she’d go insane.
After much internal debating, Willow glanced up at Cordelia and confessed, “I miss him so much, and it’s only been a few days.” Feeling guilty, she said quickly, “And yes, I have Oz, and I should be focusing on him, but I can’t help it.” She hesitated, then continued, “Our relationship feels so false. Like we’re just going through the motions of dating-the handholding and the kissing-but there are no real feelings behind it. I thought it was so much more, and then all this stuff happened, you know, with Spike and now...nothing can compare. It’s like; I’ve lived my life with certain expectations of how I wanted it to be and I’ve created this mold of who I wanted to be. And I was comfortable with that, you know? But then suddenly I experience life on a whole different level and now that mold that I’ve created, that I was so happy with--It seems so...small.”
Cordy sat quietly, listening to Willow speak. Then she nodded. “I totally understand what you’re talking about. I went through the same thing after Xander and I broke up the second time. You know, before graduation. I finally got what I said I wanted. I got away from him and the complications that came with our being in a relationship. Finally, I could get away from this life in the ‘Scooby Gang’ and return to the one I had before. I tried to enjoy it, even succeeded a few times. But after a while, I realized how empty my life was before I met you all, and how much bigger it was with Xander, and the ‘Slayerettes’, in it. But it’ll work out, Will. I don’t know why or how, but it’ll work out. It always does.”
Uneasiness settled over the redhead’s features. She never thought she’d see the day when she and Cordelia had a heartfelt conversation like that. “Okay, who are you and what have you done with Cordelia?”
“We’re bonding, Willow, don’t ruin the moment,” was Cordelia’s blunt response. Then she added, “Where’s Buffy? This should be the best friend’s job, not mine.”
Willow shrugged, more comfortable with the brutally honest, ‘Queen C’ version of Cordelia. “Probably with Angel. They have issues.”
“Well, she should be here, not me.” Then Cordy opened her carton of ice cream and took a bite. Looked disgustedly at her carton. “You better appreciate this, Will. This ice cream has, like, a million calories.”
The hacker nodded, feeling actual gratitude, then opened her own package. “Do you ever wonder if your life really is an episode of the ‘Twilight Zone’? I mean, I never ever thought I’d be bonding over ice cream with Cordelia Chase.”
The response began with an evil glare, and Cordy’s snorted response of “Well, I’m certainly not thanking my lucky stars, either.” Then her voice softened as she turned to the hacker and said, “I’m glad we’re friends, Willow.”
Surprise filled her green eyes. Cordelia wasn’t usually big on gratitude. Thoughtless tact was more her style. “We’re friends?” Then Willow answered her own question. “Of course we’re friends. Why wouldn’t we be? We have a lot in common, as friends usually do. That is, besides Buffy and Xander and vampires. For example…” She tried to think of something but only drew a blank. Willow threw a questioning glance at Cordelia.
Queen C’s face was blank as well. “Well, there’s…”
A smile slowly spread across Willows face as one thing came to mind. She lifted her spoon into the air. “Well…We have ice cream,” she said triumphantly.
Cordy smiled back and lifted her spoon to clank against Willow’s in cheers. “Here, here,” she replied in agreement. Then she took another bite of chocolate-filled sweetness.
Willow laughed, then gazed out of her window into the night. Somewhere out there, under the same moon, Spike was thinking about her just as much as she thought about him. She was positive about that, though she didn’t know how. It was the same way she knew that he would return. < ‘Don’t fret, love. I always win.’ >
One day soon, he would come back for her like he said. And she’d be waiting for him.
The redhead turned back to Cordelia, a genuine smile on her face. “Here, here,” she repeated.