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"…are you listenin’? In the lane, snow is glistenin’. A beautiful sight, no slayin' tonight. Do de do de do de do de do."
Xander’s singing echoed through the almost empty library. Buffy watched him dance, trying not to laugh.
"Xander, please promise me you’re not going to pick entertainment as a career." He practically bounced over to where she was sitting . "Aw, c'mon Buff. 'Tis the season." He held out his hands to encompass the room. "All is well."
"All but your singing." She patted his head, smiling to lessen the sting. "It was a good night, wasn't it?"
"Presents, food, my best gals, no uninvited demons. I'm thinkin' it is the best night ever."
Buffy nodded, trying to figure how to segue into the question she really wanted to ask. "So…"
He smiled, sensing – and maybe enjoying? – her discomfort. "So?"
"What did you get Willow?"
"A stuffed Snoopy. He’s battery operated. He dances."
"Don’t you think Oz might be upset? A battery operated toy can be kind of personal." Her eyes sparkled with mischief.
"He dances, not…"
The door to the library opened as Willow walked back in. She took in their closeness and the soft, red flush on Xander’s cheeks. A sad smile replaced the grin she’d had. The warm feeling of Oz’s good night kiss had completely dissipated.
She began playing with the ring he’d just given her. He’d wanted it to be a private thing between them, away from everyone’s eyes. In case she wanted to turn it down. She nervously rubbed the brilliant blue lapis lazuli stone and the intricate silver band.
"Hey guys."
They both turned to look at her, surprised at the sad expression on her face. Xander stood, concerned. "Wills?"
Buffy spotted the ring and rushed to her side. "Willow! Let me see!" She took the younger girl’s hand and examined her gift. "Oh my gosh! Did Oz just give this to you? It’s beautiful."
Xander joined them at a much more sedate pace, his heart pounding in his chest. * A ring? He gave her a ring? * He was having difficulty getting his mind around it. His dark brown eyes moved up from her hands to her eyes.
Her eyes. Those beautiful mirrors of her soul. How often had he stared into them, wishing he were half the man he saw reflected there? Those eyes that now seemed so sad and unsure.
"Can I see Willow?"
Both girls looked up at the strange tone in his voice. Buffy stepped back as Willow raised her right hand.
His fingers grazed her palm as he took her hand. The charge that sang through them both caused Willow to gasp. Buffy took another step back. Even she could feel the electricity pulsing around them.
Xander lifted the ring, so that it would catch the soft light in the library. It sparkled a brilliant blue. "It’s beautiful."
"Tha…thanks."
They stood there, eyes locked for what seemed like an eternity. Finally Buffy cleared her throat. "So, I have gifts. For you guys. My best buds?"
They broke their eye contact. "Presents are good," Willow agreed with a nod.
"Very good." Xander dropped her hand and walked back to where their gifts were waiting. Their earlier haul was piled on the table. Books from Giles – well, books on tape for Xander, gift certificates from Cordelia – "I don’t think there’s a one of you who doesn’t need a make over", small trinkets from Angel – Giles suspected they were from his family, and CDs from Oz.
"Do you think everyone liked their present?" Buffy asked.
Willow looked down at the silver ID bracelet on her wrist. They’d all gotten identical ones from Buffy. "So why is Oz Fred?"
"The van maybe?" Xander smiled, trying to recover his composure. He’d been so nervous last night, trying to pretend the kiss hadn’t happened in front of everyone, he hadn’t really thought about it.
But that simple touch…
"I thought Cordelia was going to explode when she saw that she was Daphne." Buffy laughed.
"But she put it on." Willow smiled down at her own Velma. "And she seemed to like the candles I got her."
"And the boots. She liked my boots," Xander stated proudly. "I impress woman with manly shopping skills."
"In other words, thanks Buffy for all your help?"
"What did you get Angel?" He asked quietly.
"A book of paintings." She shrugged. "I asked myself, what do you get a guy that has lived over 200 years, killed your watcher's girlfriend and you still love with all your heart?"
"I say book."
"So book it was. Giles was quite impressed. He's obviously not used to seeing books without a demon on the cover."
Sensing Buffy's discomfort, Xander handed Willow a wrapped package. "Here."
"You already got me a present earlier. Remember the computer game?"
He nodded and handed one to Buffy as well.
"And me. The stakes. Handmade."
"You two are the most important people in my life. I can’t get you many gifts?"
Buffy shrugged. "Not one to complain about gifts." She started to open one end, "Can I?"
"I don’t’ think you’ll enjoy them as much if you don’t."
She ripped open the box and pulled out a blue baby doll shirt with the Superman logo on it. "Supergirl?"
"Supergirl, superslayer. Your pick."
"She smiled and handed him a box. "For you."
"But it’s Willow’s turn."
"No. Go ahead."
He smiled at the box of comics. "Buffster!"
"Your mom let me and Willow dig through your collection, so I got ones I knew you needed. And we didn’t tell her about your other magazine collection…"
He leaned over and kissed her cheek. "Thanks."
"Willow. Your turn." She handed her another package. "Open mine."
She carefully undid the paper. There was a basket of herbs and candles. "For spells?"
"Giles helped me. Nothing too dangerous."
"It’s great." She smiled widely. Pushing gifts over to both her friends, she laughed. "Looks like we all had the same idea."
Buffy tore into hers. There were three leather bound journals.
"I thought you might like them. I did the embossing myself. For writing. Your thoughts. Because you have many thoughts."
"Don’t worry Willow. I love them."
Xander held his package tenderly. A huge fear was welling up in his stomach. It was a gift for a ‘friend’. "Open yours Willow."
She pulled the top off the box. The stuffed Snoopy brought a happy smile back to her face. "Xander…"
He reached over to turn it on, touching her hand as she did the same. Her breath caught, and she pulled her hand away.
Xander reminded himself to breathe. "He dances. For when I’m not around." He flipped the switch. They all watched for a while, trying to control their laughter.
She got onto her knees and met him in an embrace. He stopped breathing again. Burying his head against her shoulder, he inhaled her soft scent.
"I love it," she whispered.
His reply was even quieter; "I love you."
She pulled away slowly, shyly. "Your turn."
He opened her gift, dreading every second. There was a framed picture inside, one of him and Cordelia, their arms around each other. "Thanks Willow."
"There’s more." She nodded.
He pulled out another frame. This time it was a sketch of him, done by her. It was – he was – elegant and…heroic? "Is this how you see me?"
She blushed, "Of course."
Tears glistened in his eyes. "Willow…?"
Buffy stood. "I just remembered. I have to talk with Giles. And go home. And patrol. And jut be anywhere that isn’t here."
The two best friends didn’t even notice her leave. Their gazes were locked, neither seeing anything but the other.
"I’m not heroic Willow. Look at me. I’ve been spending my time plotting ways to hurt a really nice guy by stealing my best friend away from him." He looked away. "He really loves you Will and you deserve that."
"I do."
"And I care…a lot about Cordelia. But I close my eyes and all I see is you. I shouldn’t. And I try to stop." He ran his finger over her romanticized picture of him. "I have to stop. I thought last night would get it out of my system."
"Xander."
He looked at her. She had the sweetest smile on her face. "I love you too."
He opened his mouth to speak, but couldn’t.
"But I don’t know that we’re ready. You’re the most important person in my life, my best friend. But…" She started playing with the ring Oz gave her.
"But you love him?"
She closed her eyes, her body unconsciously swaying toward him. Afraid it would be his only opportunity, he leaned into her. A breath away, he knew he couldn’t without her consent. "Willow?"
Her fingers reached up to stroke his lower lip. "Xander?"
He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. It was more intense than the night before, full of passion, pain, sadness, love and need. He ran his fingers through her silky auburn hair as he lay her back onto the floor.
She deepened the kiss, pulling him even closer. His lips felt like heaven, so firm yet pliant. Her arms slid around him, his chest pressed tight against hers.
He felt his body respond to her and pulled away.
She gasped for air. "What?"
"What does this mean for us? Other than we now know there’s a physical and emotional attachment here?"
"Physical?" She turned red as she realized what he meant. Not that she and Oz hadn’t engaged in some heavy petting, but this was, well, Xander.
"Do you love him Willow?"
"I think so."
"So where does that leave us?"
"Confused?" She looked down at the ring. "Do you love her?"
"I’m pretty sure. But it’s not what I feel for you."
"But we just can’t walk away." She sniffed back tears of frustration. "I need him too Xander."
"So we’re back where we started."
"No. We can’t ever go back." She sighed. "We’re just going to have to figure it out step by step."
"So what do we do when I want to kiss you? Secrets aren’t the easiest thing to keep around here. Notice the amount of Slayerettes."
"I may be smart Xander, but I don’t have all the answers."
He knew she was right. Turning off the Snoopy, he placed all of her presents in a gift bag. "Okay. Step by step. Come on. I’ll walk you home. That’s what best friends do."
"Are we still?"
He took her hand and squeezed it tightly. "Always Willow. And no matter what."
Willow held Xander's hand tightly as they approached her house. They hadn't met up with any of Sunnydale's more nocturnal citizens on the way home, so the walk had been relatively short.
They stood on her front porch, bathed in the soft light of the candles flickering in the window.
He continued to hold her hand, unwilling to let the evening end. "Are you coming over tomorrow? The traditional Christmas with the Harris family?"
"Wouldn't miss it. Hanukkah is over, so your Christian ways can't corrupt me."
He let go of her hand, moving closer to place both his hands on her waist. A soft clinking sound caused them both to look down at their new, unfamiliar bracelets. "You know, I always had a theory about Shaggy and Velma."
"I always wondered about him and Scooby. They seemed a little too close, you know?"
"Me and Buff?" He shook his head, sending her heart soaring. "Nah. Can't see it."
She smiled. "Anymore."
"The fantasy never got that far Will." He looked at her seriously. "I knew from the start that she and I…"
"Xander, it's okay."
He stopped, concentrating instead on the warmth of her body pressed against his. "Goodnight Willow."
She kissed him softly. "Goodnight Xander." Pulling away, she unlocked the door and went inside.
* What are we gonna do? What am I gonna do? * He waited until her bedroom light came on before heading for home.
"So, you finally saw the light, hmmm?" Angel stepped out of the shadows and fell into step with Xander. "Took you long enough."
"Go away Dead boy."
"I can't."
"Sure you can. I hear hell's a great place. Go back."
"I have a present for you."
"Great. Christmas gifts from Dracula. I'm all aglow."
"It's important."
Something in Angel's tone caused Xander to stop. "What?"
"It's about Willow."
Now he had his attention. "Go on."
"You know that the spell binds her soul to mine. I know she didn't know that when she did it, but it's done."
"Old news. You're boring me."
"There's something else. Maybe she knows and just didn't tell you or maybe she doesn't know at all, but I think you need this information."
"Just say it."
"If I'm killed while I'm Angel by someone who cares about the person whose soul is bound to mine, that part of their soul is gone - lost forever. She'll still have a soul but a …part of her will be missing."
"While you're Angel."
"Yes."
"But…?"
"If I've turned back to Angelus, if the demon is back in control, her soul reverts back to her."
"Great. So go be happy. Then Buffy can kill you and Willow will be fine."
"No."
"No?" Xander stared at the vampire, hatred burning behind his eyes. "Why no?"
"She'll be the first person the demon will go after. Willow, that is. And in this case, when the person who cast the spell is still alive, the Slayer can't stop me."
Fear replaced the anger. If Buffy couldn't stop him, then who…? He looked down at the wooden box Angel held in his hands. He took it. Inside was a smooth black stake.
"It's gypsy cursed as well. Only this stake, wielded by the one who loves her most can kill me."
"I…"
"It has to be true love Xander. If you're not up to the job, let me know now."
Holding the stake in his hand, Xander looked up at his enemy. How ironic that he would be the one to make his choice for him.
Angel watched his turmoil in his expression. He knew the boy's thoughts as if he were inside his head. "Do it now, that part of her soul is lost forever," he warned again.
He replaced the stake and closed the box. "Why should I believe you?"
"You and Willow can't afford not to."
"So, you're giving me permission to kill you?"
Angel sighed in relief then nodded. "It's your present."
Xander smiled widely and started again for his house. "Gee, and who says you never get what you really want for Christmas?"