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Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy & Co. I do wish that I could have Angel, but I guess that I will to live with the poster of him that hangs over my bed. (Thanks Jessica!)
Author's Notes: This story takes place after Graduation. Basically, it's when Angel is about to leave. I wrote this before Graduation Part 2 aired.
They met in the graveyard. It was a quiet night; the moon was shining. It cast a pale glow over the couple. They quietly walked up to each other, not really wanting to be there. It meant that this was their last time to be together. Angel was leaving to go to LA. For a few minutes, they did not speak. Neither one was ready to start the inevitable. But Angel finally broke the silence.
"Buffy, I have to…"
"No! Don't say it. Please Angel, please." Buffy angrily interrupted him, pleading. She had to get everything out. She had to make him change his mind. She had to show him what he had done to her.
"Buffy," Angel tried again to talk.
"Angel NO! Listen to me. I can't live without you. This may be easy for you to just walk away, but it's not for me. My heart is breaking, Angel. Can't you see that? I love you." Buffy was begging now. Why wouldn't he listen? She was pouring her heart out, but he just ignored her.
"I can't give you what you want Buffy. You might not want it now, but you will later." Angel tried to reason with her.
"How do you know what I want? HOW?!!" Buffy screamed.
"Buffy," Angel started.
"Angel, I am a slayer. Slayers don't live long. I may die tonight, tomorrow, next week, next month, or even next year. I may live a few years. Who knows? But the only reason I'm not dead yet is because of you. You have always been there to protect me. I live because of you." She paused, sucking in a breath.
"Do I have the right? The courage? The time? To go off to college and find some guy to love -which I never will, because you are the only one I will ever love-, but if I were to find some guy, I could never marry him and actually have kids and a white picket fence. I could never endanger another person, or kids for that matter. But I probably won't even live to a day when that could happen. Listen to me, Angel. I don't want the perfect marriage, house, and kids." She paused again.
"I want you, Angel." Buffy finally whispered.
"This can't work Buffy." Angel replied. His soul was screaming at him. But he had to remain strong.
"Angel don't you understand? I love you. We were meant to be together. We are soul mates. You complete me, Angel. You are my guardian angel." Buffy tried to explain to him, pleading.
"You love me, don't you?" She asked, a little hope still in her. She looked up at him with tears running down her face.
Angel wanted so badly just to wipe away her tears, hold her, and tell her that everything would be okay. But he looked down at his feet; he couldn't give in. He loved Buffy with all of his heart and soul, and never wanted to hurt her, but he had to do this for her.
"Fine." With that, she turned and ran down the street, sobbing. If he wouldn't stay, she wouldn't watch him leave. She had to be the one to leave.
Angel watched her fading silhouette run down the street. He sighed, and turned to walk back to his mansion. It was done. He would leave after he picked up his stuff. Suddenly he heard a scream, and he quickly spun around.
"Buf-fy!!!!" He screamed, and ran down the street after her. {Author's Note: Imagine Angel's scream in Surprise when Buffy fell into the water and he jumped in after her.}
'"I can't live without you."' Her words played in his head. He pushed them out of his head. She wouldn't do that on purpose. She wouldn't be that careless.
But she was so heartbroken, sobbing. She would not have seen a vampire coming. She wasn't keeping an eye out. He cursed himself. He should have at least walked her home. Even if he had to walk in the shadows. He should have done it.
He skidded to a halt next to her body on the ground. "Buffy, no!"
"NOOOOOO!!!!!!!" He screamed out at the dark sky.
"Buffy, Buffy. Please Buffy." He sobbed, cradling her body, tears streaming down his pale face. "I love you. I never wanted to leave you. I thought it was for the best. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I love you Buffy, with all of my heart and soul."
Angel looked down at Buffy, knowing that all of the life, all of her bravery, courage, carefree spirit… and love…were not in the small, petite body that lay before him. She was gone. His one true soul mate.
Angel cried out into the night, rocking Buffy's still body.
"Buf-fy!!!!"
Angel jerked up from his bed, gasping. Sweat drenched down his face. If his heart were beating, it would have been going wild. He ripped the sheets off his body, and stood up.
"Buffy!" His voice croaked. Tears ran down his face.
He looked around his room trying to find anything that would tell him if it had been a dream. He spotted his stuff still in his room, unpacked. Good. That meant it had been a dream. He had been packed in the dream… no it had been a nightmare. No dream of his would ever have Buffy… He couldn't think about that. He hoped it would never happen any time soon.
Angel knew right then what he had to do.
Angel climbed up to Buffy's window, and placed a red rose on her windowsill. He waited for her to notice. She was at her desk writing. He knew it had to be her diary. School was over. And he knew he was the topic.
Buffy got up to go get a drink. She returned to her room a few minutes later. She walked in and saw the rose. A few tears escaped her eyes. She hurriedly wiped them away with her sleeve. She had to be strong. He had left without a goodbye.
She walked over to the window and picked up the rose. More tears escaped, then they just let loose. Buffy fell onto her bed sobbing.
Angel took that moment to climb into her room. Buffy felt his presence, and turned over to look at him.
"So, you came to say goodbye?" She bitterly asked him.
Angel shook his head. He calmly walked over to her, she was now sitting up. He kneeled in front of her. Buffy quickly sucked in a few breaths, for the crying had made her breathless.
Angel looked up into her sad eyes, his eyes a mirror. "I'm sorry Buffy. I realize it now. I can't leave." Buffy gasped. Angel smiled. "I love you with my heart and soul. You are my soul mate, and I would be honored if you would marry me?" Angel asked, then bent down to kiss the Claddagh ring on her finger.
Angel looked up at Buffy, waiting for an answer. Fresh tears ran down her face. This time, Angel wiped them away. Buffy smiled, then nodded. "Yes."
Angel grinned, then picked Buffy up and kissed her. Buffy laughed as he swirled her around.
"Thank you, for this second chance." He whispered into her ear. He put her down, and gazed into her eyes.
Buffy was a little puzzled. "A second chance?"
Angel nodded. "I had this nightmare. We met to say goodbye. You ran off. And…" Angel looked down at his feet, remembering the horrible moment.
"And?" Buffy prompted.
"And you had been killed by a vampire. You were caught unaware." Angel looked up at Buffy to see her reaction. She was shocked. Then her eyes softened, and she reached up to caress his face. She pulled him down and kissed him ever so gently.
"It's okay. It was only a nightmare." She whispered.
"But it scared me Buffy. I realized that it was so stupid of me to leave. I couldn't leave you. You also said some things to me that hit me pretty hard." Angel replied.
"Like what?" Her eyes sparkled. So she had gotten to him finally, even if it had been a dream.
"You mentioned that you were a slayer-"
"Well, duh!" Buffy interrupted.
"And that you might die that night, or the next day, etc. You said that you didn't have the right to endanger another's person's life or a child's life. You knew that a perfect marriage, with kids and a house would never work. That you would never live long enough." Angel paused, then continued. "You mentioned that you lived because of me. You said, 'I can't live without you.' When you died, it hit me. It practically killed me. If not for love, I am here to protect you Buffy. And I will never let you go."
Buffy sniffed. She wiped away a few tears, then smiled at Angel. "Well, I sure hope you love me if you just proposed to me!"
Angel laughed. "I do. I love you so much it hurts." Buffy grinned at Angel's unusual outburst of cheerfulness. He never laughed, only a small chuckle at most.
They embraced again, and dived into a deep, passionate kiss. Angel lifted her up, and held onto her tightly.
But unfortunately, Buffy's mom walked in at that moment.
"What's going on here?" Joyce asked Buffy, then turned to ask Angel, "I thought you were leaving?"
"Well, Ms. Summers. Look at it this way, if you want your daughter alive and happy, I think you want me to stay. And I am." Angel answered.
"But…" Joyce stammered.
"Hold on a second." Buffy turned to her mom. "Did you tell him to leave?"
"Well…"
"Did you? I want an answer mom!" Buffy demanded.
"Yes, I did. It's for your best interests Buffy. You don't know anything about love. You are too young-"
"I'm too young?! I'm the slayer, mom!! I'm no ordinary eighteen-year-old!!" Buffy started raising her voice.
"I know that Buffy. But you are too young to be tied down. I want you to go to college, experience life. Find a guy who can give you children." Joyce answered.
"Tied down?! Experience life? Children? Don't you mean giving you grandchildren? That's what you really want isn't it? Mom, you have to understand. I won't live long enough to have kids, to find a guy that I can love. Especially since I love Angel. Heck!! I probably won't even graduate from college!!" Buffy was screaming now. Angel laid his hands on her shoulders, but she shrugged them off.
"Don't say that You can live a normal life!" Joyce screamed back.
"You still don't understand! I have at least accepted the fact that I won't live long. It's my life mom. I'm the one who has to go out at night and fight. I'm the one who will die to protect everyone." Buffy was screaming then started hiccuping from loss of breath. Her eyes were swollen and red.
"Buffy, please. Don't say that. You can change things." Joyce pleaded.
"No mom, I can't. What I don't understand is why you won't let me be happy? Don't you see that I love Angel? He loves me too. And we are getting married." Buffy whispered her last sentence, then fell into Angel's chest, crying. Angel murmured in her ear, brushing away loose tendrils of hair on her face. Buffy's chest slowly calmed down.
Joyce stood still, shocked. She stared at the couple. It finally hit her then. She would lose her baby girl if she made Angel leave. And she wasn't ready for that. She was still adjusting to the slayer thing. And if it meant having Angel there, to keep her alive, then so be it. And if it meant that Angel would become her son-in-law, then she would give away her baby girl to the obviously caring man standing in front of her.
Joyce took a deep breath, then spoke "Fine. I give you my blessing." She turned to Angel, "Take good care of my baby." Angel nodded.
Buffy look up at her mom with excitement. "Really, mom?" Joyce nodded. Buffy broke apart from Angel, and hugged her mom. "Thank you." Joyce kissed her on her head, then broke their hug.
"I don't want you staying up too late, you hear?" Joyce asked, with a little smile.
Buffy laughed, then shook her head. Joyce smiled. "Good. Then goodnight." With that, she left the room.
Buffy looked up at Angel, grinning. "We did it! Now we can be together." She pulled Angel with her as she sat on her bed.
"Forever." Angel replied, then started a trail of kisses up from her neck to her lips as he pulled her down on her bed.
Jenny Calendar smiled as she looked at the couple lying on the bed, laughing and kissing. "It wasn't a nightmare, Angel. Only a little push."