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Disclaimer: None of the recognizable characters are mine. They belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. No copyright infringement is intended. Any unrecognizable ones are created by either a few of my friends or myself.
Author's Notes: This story is told from Dru's point of view and occurs sometime after Lover's Walk. " " indicates spoken words, ' ' indicates thoughts. italics indicate dreams.
Part 1
'Oh my head, it hurts. Maybe if I just rub the spot that hurts it'll stop.' I try to reach up to rub my head, but can't. I decide to slowly open my eyes so that I can try to find out what is holding me back from doing so. I can see that I am tied up to a chair. And as I look around, I notice that I am not in my room. I try to remember where I was before this pain in my head, but it is hard. As I look around, I listen, but all I can hear is the music in my head. It has played for years and always the same tune, till now. It is slowly changing, I can hear only a few differences in it now, but they are never in the same spot. I am listening to the changes in the music when my eyes run across a figure sitting in the shadows. I know who it is, even before I hear the voice.
"Glad to see your awake, luv. I didn't mean to 'it you so 'ard." He says. He's looking at me, trying to see whether or not I am listening. "Then why'd you do it? I would have talked to you out there. That is unless you are thinking of turning the slayer lose on me too." I say harshly, not really sure of what he has planned, but he just sits there watching, and waiting.
I still remember the day he told me that daddy wouldn't be back to take care of his princess. How could I forget? He took me to Brazil, just as he told her he would. He waited till I was awake, and begging for my daddy. Then he told me that daddy wouldn't be coming, and that he was dead. I started crying and asking if he was sure about this. He said yes, and then told me that he helped her to kill him. He had to take me and run he said, or the slayer would have killed me too. He said that he loved me enough to kill daddy to keep me safe. I became very angry and yelled at him, called him soft. I told him I didn't want to ever see him again, and left. He returned to Sunnydale, I knew that much and didn't care. But now, he's back and has me tied up.
As the memories surface, tears start to fall down my cheeks and he walks over. "It's ok, luv. I won't give you to 'er. I couldn't. I love you to much. But I 'ave to make you love me again. To prove to you that I'm not soft, and this is the only way to do it." He looks at me, and I can't help but try to understand. I nod my head and ask to be let go. He does and I stay with him, for now.
A FEW MONTHS LATER
"Dru, where are you luv?" I hear him calling to me, but I don't answer. Something has changed in me, I have been feeling since the night he had me tied up. A lot of the music I used to always listen to is either gone, or the tune has changed. I don't feel like I used to about him, or the slayer. Instead there is a lot of confusion, and unanswered questions. I know I have to find the answers if I am to ever sort things out. I have packed my clothes in a small bag and have chartered a plane back to Sunnydale. Spike doesn't know this. I don't plan on telling him that I am leaving, at least not yet. I no longer have the urge to kill a human that I am feeding off of, and don't know why. I think that is why I am returning to the ones who can help. To the ones I have tried to kill.
I push that last thought out of my mind and leave quickly while he's in the shower. I left a note at the front desk telling him that I was leaving, but not saying where I was going. If only he knew that now I was turning to the slayer and her friends for help. I laugh quietly to myself, just thinking about it. I just hope that they will, I know I'm not exactly their most favorite person in the world. I watch as the plane takes off knowing that once it lands. There will very few hours left before the sun rises in Sunnydale and that I will have to find shelter quickly, but where?
I run through the possibilities I have. The mansion seems to be a good spot, but can I really face going back to the place where Spike betrayed his sire, and where the slayer killed her first love? No, that wouldn't work at all. How about a warehouse? No, too easy for me to be spotted, especially if it is an active one. The factory, that might work. Sure it was burned by a fire, but it is still a good place. There wouldn't be too many people hanging around to ask questions, and I could find a place to hide from the sun easily. Plus, it is the least likely place for the slayer to find me. It's probably dirty as can be inside, but I can clean it up a little. It is close to the airport too, so that is where I'll go.
As the plane lands, I have this sudden feeling of dread. I know that it is dangerous being here, the slayer would just as soon stake me as look at me. I know this, but I really don't care. I have to find out why things have changed now, why I've changed. After I gather my bags together, I head quickly to the old factory that Spike and I stayed at, till it was burned. I go inside and look around for a place that will keep me away from the sun till this evening. I find one and lay down. Sleep eludes me for quite a while, so I plan on how to approach the slayer. I think about going to her first, to the slay...Buffy, I correct myself. She won't take you seriously if you keep calling her that, I think. I finally decide that the best way to go about this is to go and talk to the little red-headed friend of hers, Willow. She seems to be the most rational of the group, and maybe my best shot at getting some answers. I feel myself getting tired and allow sleep to take over, knowing that soon I will have to face them all.
'Where am I? I'm so confused.' I shake my head to try to clear it up. The last thing I remember is being on the plane heading to a place, to home. But where? I look around and slowly everything starts coming back. ' I'm in Sunnydale, I came here to get help. ' I remember as things start falling into place slowly. ' Now I just have to convince them to help me, but how? Buffy will never forgive me if I were to kidnap one of her friends, even if I don't hurt them. So what do I do? '
I sit down and try to come up with a plan that will at least keep me alive, and hopefully show them that I really want their help. I finally decide it best if I go and talk to Buffy's friend Willow first. The best place to find her is probably the Bronze, so that is where I head.
On my way to the Bronze, I fight the urge to feed as I pass people. I know that I am not really very strong right now, having only fed to survive in the last few months. But this is also the slayer's town, and if I feed then she would more than likely find out that I am here before I am ready to see her. As I continue on towards the Bronze, I get the feeling that I am being watched, but every time I turn and look I don't see anyone.
I get to the bronze and wait across the street for a few minutes trying to get the courage to go in when I'm grabbed from behind and pulled away from the Bronze. I struggle, but it does no good. My captor is strong, and I haven't really been doing a lot towards keeping my strength up. So I decide that it may be best if I just wait this attack out. I notice that I am being guided towards the park, and that there hasn't been a word said yet. I try asking some questions, but all I get is silence. So I wait, and hope that they don't plan on killing me right now.
I am sat down on a bench roughly and then my captor faces me, and he still keeps a hold of me. As I look at him, shock sets in and I'm sure that my face shows it. "Angel?" I start out hesitantly. "Is it you? Did you get your soul back?"
"What are you doing here Drusilla? Have you come back to cause trouble again? I suppose you are here just to distract me while Spike goes after Buffy. Is that it? And yes, I did right before Buffy sent me to hell."
I shake my head slowly. "No, I came here for help, " I start slowly. "And Spike, well he doesn't even know where I am. I left him again. This time I was the reason for leaving. I don't why, but things have changed." I look down, as I try to stop the feelings I have from surfacing so close to him. I know he must hate me, for the way I have been around him. He must have hated the crazy ramblings I constantly used. I can't bring myself to look at him, but then I feel his hand slip under my chin and slowly force my head up till my eyes meet with his.
"Drusilla, I'm not sure why you came back, or what you were doing around the Bronze. But I do know one thing, you haven't fed tonight. When you were struggling against me, I could tell that you were weak. I want you to explain what has been going on, and then we'll decide where to go from there. OK? Is it a deal?" Angel looks into my eyes, searching for any deception when I answer. "It's a deal, Angel. I will explain everything, but not here. I won't be able to stop the need to feed if I stay here. I'm to close to the smell of blood. There are children playing here and I can smell the blood that is flowing through them. I'm staying at the factory, we can go there."
Angel looks at me for a few more minutes then softly says, "no, you go ahead back to the factory, I'll be along shortly. There is something I need to do first. But if I find out you fed on the way back to there, I'll stake you myself. I'm going to trust you to be on your best behavior till we can talk about this. Now go." He turns to leave and I watch for a few minutes as he walks out of my sight. I get up and head back to the factory, keeping my promise not to feed. It is hard, but I now that Angel will do just as he said and stake me if I do.
Once at the factory I look around and try to straighten things up a little. There is a knock on the door, and I go to answer it. Angel is there and I invite him in, even though he really didn't need it. He walks in and looks around once he's satisfied that I am alone. He walks on over and sits down. He takes my hand and presses a blood packet into it. "Here this will help stop the hunger. Now once you finish, I want an explanation as to why you are here, and what you want." I nod and sit down to eat. I notice that he is watching me and hasn't tried tied me up. He is placing a lot of trust in me and I know how hard that must be considering what I have done in the past.
As I finish eating I look up at him, and I explain about what happened once Spike returned to Brazil. I also explain that for some reason things are becoming clearer and easier for me to understand. He gives me a curious look, so I try to explain. "Angel, do you remember the music that I used to hear all the time?" He nods. "Well, it's changed. I no longer hear it all the time, and when I do hear it, it has a different tune. The change in the music has stopped me from killing. I can't kill anymore. I have only taken enough to survive, to stay alive, but not to kill." He just watches me, and waits on me to finish. ' I hate when he does that to me, but I have to continue,' I remind myself. " I know you are not convinced that I am telling you the truth, but Angel stop and think about this please? If I had wanted to feed and to kill tonight, how many times could I have done so? Plus think about this, if I had killing on my mind, why would I have been waiting outside the Bronze, instead of going on in?"
Angel looks away as he considers my words, and I am scared that he may not
want to help. When he looks back he at me, he looks me right in the eyes.
"Dru, I'm not sure if this is just a sick game that you are playing or not,
but I do know this much. If you had wanted to feed you sure had plenty of
opportunities, but didn't. I also know that Buffy won't like you being back
in town. I want you to stay here, at least till I can tell her. I will make
sure that you have food. But if you ever feed off of a human, I will solve
all of your problems for you. Understand?" He watches as I nod. "Good, now Dru just relax and think about things. Try to get your head in order,
because once Buffy knows you are here, you will be answering some even
tougher questions. I will return to check on you tomorrow evening. Take
care Dru." He leaves quickly and I just watch. I feel better now that I
have eaten, but I am scared that he may decide that I am better off dead. In
either case, I'm here now, and have to make the best of things. I lay down
and try to rest, and this time sleep comes easier.