|
|
As Angel and I walk to the library, I can sense that he is still hurt from my lies this morning. I still have the letters from Miss Howe. They are in the nightstand by my bed where they were put when I was moved to the mansion from the factory. I have decided that it is time to stop the lies about my visions and get the answers I need. I have to find out if these visions that I have always had are a curse, or if Miss Howe told me the truth when she said I was chosen.
As we walk into the library, I notice the frustrated look on Giles's face. I know the answer to the unasked question before he says anything. " Dru, I'm afraid that I haven't found anything to explain your change of heart. I'm sorry. Willow and Buffy will be here soon. I just called them both. I wish I knew where else to look. I'm sorry. But I am curious, what was it about that book that bothered you? I saw the look of shock on your face. It was almost as if you had seen it before, but that would be impossible since it is viewed primarily by watchers and slayers, right?" I look away from Giles, not sure of what to say. "Dru, am I right? You haven't read this book, have you?" I close my eyes. " Oh dear, Dru, maybe you better tell us more about your past once the girls get here. I have a feeling it may help with explaining the changes you are experiencing now. Come on over and sit down. Angel would you mind checking to see what's keeping the girls?" Angel leaves to do so without answering.
" Dru, do you ever see the future?" I nod. "Even before your change to a vampire?" I nod again. Buffy, Willow and Angel enter the library and both Giles and I turn to look at them. "We were delayed due to some unexpected slayage of some of Spike's new minions. Any luck finding some answers to our questions?"
"No, not really, Buffy, but with Dru's help I think we can. Buffy, Willow, yesterday when I brought out the most complete reference book we had, Dru appeared, well, she appeared rather shocked at the sight of it. As you know not much is known about Dru's past or her abilities. But before you walked in, she answered a couple of questions and now that you are here I'm hoping that she will filling in a bit on her past that we don't know about."
"Would you do that, Dru? Do you remember any of your past, before being changed?" Angel looks away from me as Buffy asks the last two questions. It must still hurt him remembering the tortures he placed on me and my family before changing me.
"I'll tell you what you want to know. I'll tell you more about my life before becoming a vampire. Please everyone, sit down. You too, Angel, because some of the things I'm going to tell them, even you don't know about." Angel and the others look at me, then each of them takes a seat near me. "I haven't said anything about this Angel because I haven't wanted to hurt you. I'm sorry for lying to you this morning too. I have been dreaming about the past again. These dreams have returned almost all of my memories to me. I was about 10 or 11 when I first started seeing things that were going to happen in the future. I didn't say anything to my parents at first because they didn't happen very often. But after about two years of them happening more often, and every one of them coming true I did. I told them about the dreams and visions, and they became angry with me. They said I was cursed and that I was the devil's child. I was upset, but determined to make them understand. I tried for two years and failed. But then one day shortly after my 14th birthday, a lady showed up and tried to get them to let me go with her. She said that I was special, chosen for a special future. Mom and dad wouldn't let me go. They fought with her, but she sent me a book a week later. Mom took it from me and sent it back. I kept the letter that came with it. She had written to tell me to read the book to start my training, but I didn't get a chance. I didn't hear from her again till the day of my parents funeral. She showed up and tried to get me to go with her again. I refused because I had little Anne to take care of, plus I was still under 18 and not really old enough to be on my own yet. She left very upset that I wasn't with her. But a few weeks later, the book showed up at my uncle's house. I found it in his library. I started to walk away from it, but couldn't. When I pulled it out, I found another letter. She again mentioned reading the book to start my training and apologized for being so late with it. I sat down with the book, and read it. I have read the same Vampyr book that you pulled out this morning for answers, but many years ago. But how can it be here now, when I read it back then. It doesn't make sense. I was drawn to it earlier as I was the day I first started reading it. Growing up, I was a normal child, but then the murders started and so did the visions. I don't know why I was cursed at the age of 10, but I kind of liked the extra strength that came with the curse, just not the visions. The rest you pretty much know. My whole family was killed, I was driven insane, and on the day I took my holy orders, I was changed. I've led a real fun life." The looks I am getting from everyone have made me a little uneasy, especially the one from Giles. "Did I say something wrong? Does any of what I've just told you help?"
Giles looks at me as he takes his glasses off. "Actually Dru, I think it explains quite a bit. Do you remember this lady's name, the one who kept trying to get you to go with her? Also about what years? I think that I know where to get the answers we are looking for, but I'm not sure that either you or Angel will like them."
"Her name was Miss Kathy Howe and it was around 1854-1861, somewhere around there anyway. Why? Is it that important? What are your suspicions?"
It is very important Dru. I need to locate the watcher's diaries from that time period. I believe that the lady who kept trying to get you to go with her was a watcher, but I'm not sure. If she was, she would have kept a diary, even if she didn't have a slayer. Ah! Here they are. Everyone take some. We need to find the ones for Miss Kathy Howe. I remember hearing that name before, so I hope I'm right. If I am, her diaries may hold the answers to our unanswered questions." He hands about 3 or 4 books to each of us, and we all start looking. It is late, about 4 hours before sunrise, and I know Angel and I will need to leave soon. I just hope we find them.
We find the right diaries about two hours later and Giles sends us all home. Angel and I make sure Buffy and Willow get home safe before we head to the mansion.
"I didn't realize that you were that different when you were younger. I'm sorry for what I did you and your family. Giles seems to think he'll have the answers for this change in you by tonight. I'm glad that you told the truth tonight, Dru. I should have allowed you some time to get over the shock before asking you questions about what happened. I was hurt that you chose to lie to me. But now that I heard what you had to say and learned a bit more about you, I understand."
"Thank you, Angel. Night, " I say quietly then head down the hall to my room as Angel walks in and lock the door.v I hear him walk to his room and close the door behind him.
Once in my room, I go to the nightstand and pull out the letters that I kept, though I have no idea why. ' So Miss Howe, you were a watcher. Why me? I wasn't a slayer. I could never have been one. I didn't have the skills and my family wasn't the type who would accept a killer of evil for a daughter. But I hope the answers are in your diaries.' I lay down to get a few hours of rest before we return to the library.
When I go to see Angel that night, he tells me that we won't be going to the library for a few days. Giles had called and asked that he be allowed a few days for him to go through the diaries with Willow. He said he would let us know once he found something. Angel was going to join Buffy on patrol. I wanted to join and said so. He wasn't to sure about that, I could tell. When Buffy arrived a few minutes later, he told her that I wanted to join them. She asked if I thought I could handle staking a vamp and I nod stating, "if they are hurting my friends, then it's necessary. I have to do something to help. This waiting game is not my idea of fun. I realize that Spike might see me helping you. I’m not afraid of that. Buffy, Angel, I need to start making up for al the evil I have done. Please, let me help."
They consider my words then Buffy pulls out a stake. She tosses it in the air and catches it, point towards her, then hands it to me. "I'm gonna let you join us. Be careful out there. You'll need this and the first rule of slaying. Don't die. If you find you can't handle it or started getting outnumbered, come back here. Got it?" I nod and take the stake. "Good, I'm going to be placing my trust in you tonight. This isn't the easiest thing for me, but I want you to know this. In the last few weeks you have shown a great deal of control and after what I heard you say earlier, it's time I learn to deal with this. We'll know the answers soon enough, but for now let's go make Sunnydale safe for the night.
It goes well. We really dusted quite a few of Spike's new minions. I enjoyed it and it felt natural. I saw Spike while I was fighting. He didn't come near me, but he was ticked to see that I had teamed up with the slayer. I can just imagine what kind of trouble he has planned. We talked for quite a while when we returned to the mansion. Buffy stayed with us when the sunrise came. She said her mom would be out of town for the next couple of weeks, so she wouldn't get in trouble for staying.
We did the same thing for the next few nights. We'd patrol, kill a few vamps, and return to the mansion to talk.
One evening as I was getting ready for patrol, Buffy walked into my room. "Dru, Giles just called. We're going to the library after patrol. He says that he's got our answers."
"That's nice. I've had fun the last few days patrolling with you and Angel. I hope what we find out tonight doesn't change things between us."
"Me too, but it'll be good to know the reason why this has happened as well."
We have a quiet night patrolling. As we near the school, I start feeling a bit nervous. He did say that Angel and I wouldn't like the answers he found, but I have to know. Angel appears to be just as nervous and I am. Buffy, on the other hand, is the picture of calm.
As we enter the library, both Willow and Giles look up. He motions to a few chairs and we sit down.
"Sorry about taking so long Dru, but we have the answers for your questions. I have read Miss Howe's diaries. She was to train the youngest slayer called that had been called to known history. She experienced a lot of difficulties trying to find this young lady to train her. Once she located her, she discovered that her slayer was still a child. She questioned the council's decision, but they insisted that the child be trained. That child was you Dru. The strength, visions, and dreams you had were a sign of a slayer, not a curse. Miss Howe was to have been your watcher, that's why she was upset that you sent her away. You were special, a chosen one. There is one in every generation with the ability to kill vampires."
I listen quietly and try not to laugh when Buffy whispers, " he just loves this part."
He continues without any indication that he heard her. "Dru, you said that Angel had not made you completely crazy till after he changed you. There is a reason behind that. A slayer can't be easily converted. It tends to make them go crazy, usually because of the loss of their soul and being changed into what they are taught to hate. I don't know how far you got in the Vampyr book, but there is a chapter that explains your change in habits. It mentions that if they survive the change and can last for a little over a hundred years, through weakness and other things, that their lives will start returning to their calling. I believe that is what happened. You may be starting to return to being a slayer. I...I'm not sure about this, of course. Every slayer that has been converted never has made it as far as you have, but one. The only one who did was unable to deal with the guilt of what the demon did. This is new ground here. I'm not sure of what to do from here, but at least now you know. I would suggest taking some time and deciding what to do with the knowledge you have now. You have some tough decisions to make for your road ahead now. Take care of yourself."
I am stunned, a slayer. I was to have been a slayer. "Well, I guess I need some time. Thanks for helping me. I need to go. I'll let you know what I decide on, I just don't know when. " I leave the library and head to the mansion. I grab my things and start out of town. I have a few hours before sunrise to find a place to stay. I need to leave so that I can work things out. I'll return someday, I just don't know when.