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Mariah and Buffy decided to come back into the mansion, the sun was setting, and they had been out in the garden for a long time; long enough for them to finish their girl talk. When they walked back into the study, Buffy immediately made eye contact with Angel, and froze. All the emotions she pushed aside came rushing back, she wanted him, she wanted him to love her again, and prove that his devotion was just as great as hers. But Buffy couldn't understand what was holding him back, Angel was good at hiding his true intentions, but she could see right through him, and he was asking himself that same question.
Angel stared with a longing in his eyes, the kind of longing that never ceased; when Buffy was near. The emotions he was hiding threatened to show, as she looked at him with the same yearning Angel had for her, if only he wasn't so afraid to show his vulnerability.
Mariah saw the look Buffy and Angel were giving each other, she decided it was time for them to be alone. "Darling." She said to Harker. "I think it's time we get home."
From the look on Mariah's face, Harker knew exactly what she meant. "Yes, your right. We should be going."
Harker stood up and walked over to his wife, taking her arm. "We'll see you another time." He said, he leaned over and kissed Buffy on her cheek, and shook Angel's hand. Mariah gave her hugs and kisses as well.
Angel ever the gentlemen, escorted them to the door; Buffy followed only to the stairs and headed to the bedroom.
After Harker and Mariah exited the Mansion, Angel journeyed upstairs toward the bedroom. He paused for a second before going in, he found Buffy sitting at the vanity table brushing her golden tresses, now that it was no longer confined in it's restraints. Angel stood behind her looking at her reflection in the mirror, as well as his own. After making eye contact with Buffy, he walked out of sight and stepped onto the balcony in the night air. He had to get away from the look in her eyes, fearing the agonizing emotions in him would show. The moon glowed on Angel's face, reflecting the pain he felt, Angel was trying to come to terms with himself and the aching in his heart; he tried to ignore it, and pretend to enjoy his time here, but it wouldn't go away. Angel needed Buffy, only God knew how much, the raw emotions she evoked in him was like no other and if he couldn't control those emotions, the urges his heart demanded would intensify beyond return. No matter the desire to do so, Angel wasn't sure he wanted that to happen, but it would feel so right; now that nothing was holding them back. But their was.
A pair of arms encircling his waist, and the scent of strawberry and jasmine assaulting his senses brought Angel out of his deep thoughts. He glanced down at Buffy, their eyes locked, and the truth was evident between them. Unable to resist the question in her eyes, Angel pulled away from her, until Buffy's petite, yet strong hands grabbed his upper arm.
"Why are you doing this to us?" She asked softly
Angel pulled away roughly, and walked back into the room. The softness in her voice had unnerved him. He began to pace. "Don't ask me that."
Buffy had followed him back into the room, he looked like he was near the point of breaking down. "Why?" She demanded. "Why are you putting us through this?! After everything we've been through, why would you just break it off like this!!"
He stopped pacing and stood in front of her, his back to the fireplace, making his form glow throughout the room. "You know why Buffy, we can't be together. Not when I can still give you the life you deserve, a life without me."
"What if I don't want a life without you?! Did you ever think about what I want?"
"Buffy please, don't make this harder." Angel pleaded, he was so close to breaking down infront of her.
Buffy stared at him disbelief. "I'm making this harder?!" She looked him dead in the face and saw something she never seen before; fear. "What are you afraid of?"
Turning away from her, Angel look into the roaring fire. "Stop."
"No." Buffy's voice began to choke. "What are you afraid of!! Damn it Angel tell me!!!"
Angel turned quickly and grabbed Buffy by her upper arm, his fingers digging into her flesh. "YOU!! I'M AFRAID OF YOU!!" He confessed, tears rolled down his cheeks. "Everytime I'm around you, all I want to do is take you in my arms and claim you as mine!! That's why I'm leaving, I can't be around you and not be able to loose myself in you. And that feeling won't go away." Angel let go of her, and walked to the other side of the room, leaving Buffy to wrap her arms around herself.
He looked back at her, pain written all over his 'angelic' features. "I...I'm afraid of you." He whispered. "You're the only one who could ever make me feel like this, so vulnerable, and passionate at the same time. No one could ever make me feel the way you do, and if I stay near you any longer, I won't be able to control myself; it's even harder, now that nothing's holding us back."
Tears ran nonstop on Buffy's face, his agony was just as great as hers. She walked away from him, and sat on the edge of the bed. "I can't." She whispered, glaring up at him. "I can't control how I feel either, but that's how it's supposed to be. Isn't that what love is? Something you can't control ... you can't control what you feel Angel."
Buffy watched him as if he was a stranger in front of her, and not the Angel she once knew. But did she really know Angel as well as she thought? "Or do you feel anything at all? Do you feel anything for me? Do you love me?"
Angel glared at her in shock. "You know I love you."
Raising an eyebrow. "Do I? Obviously you don't, if you truly loved me, you couldn't hurt me like this."
Angel shook his head no, and he stormed across the room; pulling her into his arms. "I do Buffy, don't you ever doubt how much I love you. I never wanted to hurt you, I wanted to do what's right for both of us." He said, trying to convince her. Buffy's belief that he didn't love her anymore, stirred a rage in him. How could she believe that he did not love her? Angel glared into her eyes, almost warningly. "You may question a lot of things Buffy, but never question my feelings for you." He may have wanted what's best for her, but Buffy will never forget that she was his girl, always. And he will never let her forget it. His possessive nature reflected in his features, Buffy knew she had gotten to him.
"Never." She replied, Angel shook his head no. He was going to make sure she knew, she was loved. To hell with everything else.
Buffy and Angel stared into each others eyes, and were both mesmerized by the utter devotion that shined through them, silencing every doubt in their minds. Looking into her eyes, Angel could no longer deny her. The uncontrollable feeling of desire and unconditional love, flared in him. He was tired of coming up with excuses, tired of doing what's right. It did them no good, they were miserable because Fate has a vendetta. But no more, it was time to take back the time Fate had stolen from them.
"Maybe we need to stop doing what's right." Angel said, he pushed his hand into her hair, and kissed her with all the pent up passion and frustration he felt. Buffy responded immediately, putting all her love and devotion into that kiss alone. That kiss promised much more, and it didn't cease until the need for air came over them.
She brought her hand up to stroke his cheek, feeling the warmth he now possessed. Angel went in for another kiss, but Buffy placed a finger over his lips to stop him, "If you ever try to leave me again, I'm gonna kick your ass." She said smiling.
Smiling back at her, Angel leaned down and lightly brushed her forehead with his lips. Pulling her chin up so he could look again to her eyes wanting her to know how truthfully he spoke. "Forgive me, I'm sorry for hurting you. I just thought that you would hate me for keeping you from the things you should have, like a normal life. I couldn't give you the things you deserve, and it killed me to know that I never could.
She traced his lips lightly with her finger. "I don't care about that, all I care about is you." She gazed up at him with intense passion. "You're all I want, all I ever wanted." She smiled as he kissed her fingertips. "Its enough, knowing that you never stopped loving me ..."
Angel pulled her into a fierce kiss. The moon shone through the high window
and bathed them in it's glow as the two lovers stayed locked in a passionate
embrace.