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Disclaimer: You’ve heard it all before. The characters don’t belong to me, they belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant enemy etc. G-d knows that if they belonged to me I would never have let Surprise & Innocence, or Becoming happen.
Author’s Note (PLEASE READ): This is the second of a very pointless series. It is the sequel to
“Guardian Angel” and I highly suggest you read that (and my author’s
note) first. I just wanna reiterate: FEEDBACK!!!!
~ means thoughts
It was velvety twilight. Buffy gazed out of her bedroom window. It would soon be around the time Angel would come out of his apartment. She decided on what to wear: a short pastel green skirt and a white shirt. She knew tonight would be important. If he were there, she would find out how he felt about her, and if he weren’t there… she would understand that he didn’t want to be with her. It was sort of understood that if they wanted to talk, they would go to the Bronze tonight. If he didn’t come, she would know he didn’t want to have anything to do with her, and she didn’t know if she would be able to handle that. She gave herself a quick once-over in the mirror, tucked some hair behind her ear, shoved a stake into her bag and headed to the Bronze.
She walked into the dark, crowded building and looked around. She searched desperately for Angel, but she didn’t see him. She sighed and sat on a couch. She refused to give up hope, though, he might come a little later. Xander and Willow suddenly appeared.
“Hey Buff, why so gloomy?” Xander asked.
“Oh… no reason…” Her words belied her expression, her posture and her speech. She couldn’t fool her friends.
“Wanna talk?” Willow asked, ever the faithful friend.
“Maybe later.” Later being if Angel didn’t show up. If he did… well, hopefully she wouldn’t be with Willow and Xander later tonight. She felt bad about wanting to abandon her friends, but she was sure they wanted her to be happy. Well, Willow, anyway. She hoped Xander had gotten over his little crush on her, because she knew she would never feel for him in that way, and she thought he and Willow would be perfect together.
They all hung out for a little while, Buffy even danced a little. As time passed, she felt as if the possibility of Angel coming was growing smaller and smaller. So with every second that passed, the pain was driven a little deeper into her heart. She was determined to stay until the entire place was cleared out, so when Xander and Willow left, she didn’t go with them. Thankfully, the room was still relatively crowded when, finally, someone tapped her on the shoulder and took her out of her reverie.
As he had for the past weeks, he had been watching her all night, as soon as he could leave his house. He knew as well as she did that tonight would be quite a deciding factor. He tried as hard as he could to stay away from her, from the Bronze, but somehow his feet seemed to move of their own accord. He watched her for a while. Eventually, he could hold it in no longer, and went up to her, tapped her on the shoulder.
“Angel! Hi!” she said, silently cursing herself for sounding like such a moron.
“Hello.” He replied, wishing he hadn’t sounded so cold.
There was a pause. A long silence. MO<“Well… this is a little awkward…” she pointed out, just trying to relieve some of the tension. She wanted him to laugh, they could start talking…
Her innocent comment did not have the desired effect. He muttered: “I shouldn’t have come.” And began to walk away. It almost killed him to do so, but he convinced himself that it was for her own good.
She wasn’t prepared to let him walk out of her life so easily. She grabbed his arm, and he turned to face her. For one brief moment, she wondered if the anger in his face would be manifested, if he would hurt her. Then she looked into his eyes and knew she never had to fear him.
“Don’t go.”
“Why? Why shouldn’t I?”
She didn’t want to sound too desperate. She decided to say it flippantly, almost jokingly.
“’Cause I like having you around!” A smile played over her face, but none on his.
She got the message. She let go of his arm and dropped her hand to her side. She looked down at the floor, and as shame, disappointment and self-loathing washed over her she stammered:
“But... you don’t feel the same way…”
It was her turn to turn and walk away, and his turn to grab her arm. He spun her around to face him, but he didn’t hurt her, he only pulled her arm hard enough so that she was incredibly close to him. He could barely concentrate. She still looked at the floor, so he couldn’t see her face.
“No…” he said. She visibly shuddered, and he saw her body slump a little.
He drew her a little closer. The moment of truth was at hand. He had to tell her. He whispered into her ear:
“I feel like I’m dying when I’m not with you.”
She looked up, she felt as if a ray of light had passed though her terrible grey gloom, her terrible fate: the rest of her life without him in it. She was out of the grey now, his sunlight had saved her, he gave her hope.
When she looked up he could finally see her eyes. Her eyes were brimming with tears, first for sadness but now for happiness. He thought for a moment with amazement at the power he must have over her, that he could make her cry. That must mean…
“So, you do feel the same way.” She told him as she looked into his eyes.
They were locked into their own universe, and as they leaned in to their third kiss, the world disappeared around them. Who knows how long it lasted, it could have been a few seconds, it could have been hours. They were together, only they existed. That moment would last for eternity. Time wasn’t relevant because it always was like that, it always would be like that. It was forever.
They finally broke apart because someone bumped into them. She stared at each other in mute shock, as if not understanding what had happened.
But they did both understand. They understood now. They knew that they could no longer torture themselves by being apart. No matter where they were, how old they are, or which body they inhabited, they would always be together, for eternity. The moment of truth had come and gone. He remembered the time, and offered to walk her home. As they strolled back to her house, they didn’t talk much. They didn’t need to, they knew without needing words. At her door, he gave her another kiss, and she entered her house.
She lay in her bed, recalling the kisses they had shared, much like she had two nights ago. But now the memories were not tinged with sadness, she could think about them happily, because she knew that there would be more. They would finally be together. She drifted off to sleep, and dreamt good dreams.
Angel stayed, and watched over her, saw her peacefully sleeping. Only when the sun threatened to rise did he leave her. As he lay in bed, he was doing much the same thing that she had been. As had happened the day before, sleep eluded him. He though of her, played each moment spent with her over in his head countless times. He knew he should protect her and stay away, but he could no longer do that. And he was finally content.