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Disclaimer:I do not own the characters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. They belong to 20th Century Fox, Joss Whedon, and Mutant Enemy. I am using them without permission, however I am not making any money off them so please do not sue me. I don't own the song Angel either. That belongs to Sarah McLachlan. I'm not making any money off using it, so please don't sue me.
Author's Notes: The title is really dumb, sorry about that. This is a Buffy and Angel story, with some Buffy and Spike friendship added in. This takes place sometime in the future, it's kind of sad. Sorry, I'm *trying* to not do angst. It's not working. I also use the song Angel again, this is like the fifth time. Sorry, but it really fits this story.
He watched as she knelt near the fresh grave.
A grave where only ashes lay beneath the ornamental Angel headstone. She had picked the angel marker, an angel for an angel.
Her angel.
He went closer to her. Close enough to hear her when she began to talk.
You spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
for a break that will make it okay.
"God, this is harder than I ever thought it would be." She wiped a tear from her eye. "It was much simpler back at the beginning. You were just the cryptic guy who gave me warnings then disappeared, it was simple. But it didn't stay that way."
There's always some reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
oh, beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty.
She gave a dry, sad laugh. "No. It got so complicated, too complicated. I fell in love with you, I shouldn't have. It hurt so much, yet I wouldn't trade that experience for anything. You were my everything. You shouldn't have been. I depended on you too much, and look what it got me."
well, weightlessness and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight
in the arms of the angel
far away from here
from this dark, cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear.
She closed her eyes and paused. Then, after taking a deep breath, she continued. "When you came back from Hell I was so afraid. Afraid that I'd be dependent on you again and then I'd lose you again. I couldn't do that, and I didn't. But it hurt just as much, because I still loved you with everything in me. I'll always love you. How can I not?"
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here
He watched as she started to cry. He wanted to comfort her, hold her in his arms, but he knew she wouldn't want that.
She needed to do this on her own.
She started to speak again, oblivious to his presence. "Then, you came back again." There was a little bit of joy mixed in with the sadness of her voice now. "I was never happier than I was during those months."
so tired of the straight line
d everywhere you turn
are vultures and thieves at your back
and the storm keeps on twisting
you keep on building the lies
that you make up for all that you lack
it don't make no difference
escape one last time
The joy left her voice, leaving only the sadness. "I thought we'd finally get happiness, but it wasn't supposed to be. You left me again, this time forever. There was no way for you to come back. No restoration spell, no higher power that decided you were needed here, no Whistler to convince you to come back. Just death. You're really gone."
it's easier to believe
in this sweet madness
all this glorious sadness
it brings me to my knees
She massaged the wings of the cement angel with her finger tips. "I love you Angel, always will, but I need to move on. I can't spend the rest of my life moping for you. I've spent too many years doing that, now it's time for me to live. Even if I have to do it without you. Goodbye my Angel."
With that she got up, wiping the tears from her eyes.
in the arms of the angel
fly away from here
from this dark, cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
in the arms of the angel
She finally saw him. "What are you doing here?" She asked with a small smile.
He shrugged. "I thought you might need me. Didn't know how hard this would be for you."
"It was really hard, saying goodbye. Letting go. Angel's been in my life for so long, to just let go is so hard. Do you understand?"
He smiled slightly. "I do, it was the same for me when Dru died."
Buffy smiled and took Spike's hand. "How did you recover?"
"I had a good friend."
She looked up at him and smiled. "So do I." She said as the two walked hand in hand out of the graveyard.
may you find some comfort here
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here.
As they reached the gate she turned around.
"Goodbye Angel." She whispered in the silence.
Then she left, unaware that somewhere far from here an angel heard her words. That she would always have a guardian angel.