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Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. They belong to 20th Century Fox, Joss Whedon, and Mutant Enemy. I am using them without permission, however I am not making any money off them so please do not sue me. I don’t own Full of Grace either, it belongs to Sarah McLachlan and is on her Surfacing album. Please don’t sue me.
Author's Notes: Okay, first off I know I use a lot of Sarah McLachlan songs in my stories, but she rocks and I love her music so bear with me. Next, yet another angst piece. Buffy’s getting married, and it’s not to Angel. Be warned there’s no happy ending, just closure. They let go, and if you’re in denial land you don’t want to read this. I’m going back there as soon as I finish this. That’s it, enjoy.
Feedback: Yes please, I live off it.
She walked into the mansion which had once been his, her heart full of bittersweet memories. She looked around the dark and empty place, remembering the man who had once lived here.
She jumped when she heard footsteps behind her, and turned around only to see him.
The winter here's cold, and bitter
it's chilled us to the bone
we haven't seen the sun for weeks
to long too far from home
“Angel.” She whispered, not believing it was really him. “What are you doing here?” She asked.
“Tying up loose ends.” He said quietly. “I’m donating the house to the city, closing my bank accounts here, and then I was going to see you.”
“I’m glad. You were going to say goodbye weren’t you?” She asked softly, he nodded.
“Yeah. I had to say goodbye properly, you deserve that.”
I feel just like I'm sinking
and I claw for solid ground
I'm pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low
“Do, do you know?” She asked softly, gazing down at the diamond ring on her hand. Remembering a ring she had worn years before, an Irish wedding band given to her by her first love.
“Yes.” He said quietly, snapping her out of her thoughts.
“Why didn’t you ever tell me that The Claudagh ring is used as a wedding band?” She asked.
“I was going to, but first I lost my soul. Then afterwards, I don’t know why I didn’t tell you. But it doesn’t matter now.”
“No.” She agreed.
oh darkness I feel like letting go
if all of the strength and all of the courage
come and lift me from this place
I know I could love you much better than this
full of grace
full of grace
my love
“Are you happy?” He asked suddenly, and she paused for a moment, thinking about it.
“Yes. I love him.” She said truthfully.
He looked thoughtful for a moment, and then smiled sadly. “I’m glad. It never would have worked out, would it?”
She shook her head. “No.” She agreed again. “We come from separate worlds. But while it lasted our love was amazing.”
“But it’s gone.” He said softly, she nodded, tears in her eyes.
She realised that this would the end, after this there was no turning back. This was the end for her and Angel, nothing would ever change that.
so it's better this way, I said
having seen this place before
where everything we said and did
hurts us all the more
She walked towards Angel softly, and a minute later he kissed her gently.
The kiss was to be their last, they both knew that, and with it they could let go. As they kissed they both remembered the love that they had once shared, finally she pulled away.
“Goodbye Angel.” She said softly, looking him in the eyes.
its just that we stayed, too long
in the same old sickly skin
I'm pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low
The look lasted a long moment, neither able to pull their eyes away.
They thought about the last look they had shared, the night he walked into the smoke and left her. The night things between them had ended, yet years later they both now knew that that was the only way it could have been.
They were just too different, in the end the only answer was them to part and nothing could change that.
oh darkness I feel like letting go
if all of the strength
and all of the courage
come and lift me from this place
I know I could love you much better than this
“Goodbye.” He finally whispered, Buffy looked at him once more and then she turned and walked away.
She knew that what she was doing was for the best, that there was no other way. She and Angel weren’t meant to be, but it still hurt like hell.
full of grace
full of grace
my love
He watched her go, tears in his eyes. He smiled sadly in the darkness, it really was better this way, but it still hurt.
Maybe, it always would.
It's better this way