|
|
Disclaimer: I don’t own Cordelia, Angel, or Buffy. If I owned them do you think they’d be so miserable? No. They belong to mean old Joss Whedon, The WB, 20th Century Fox, and Mutant Enemy.
Author's Notes: This is number five in my opinions set. This is during the scene where Cordy tells Buffy off in When She Was Bad. Cordy’s POV.
Buffy exited the Bronze and walked down the alley at a quick pace. I followed her out. I wasn’t sure why I was doing this, but something inside me was making me.
Me: “Buffy. ” Buffy stopped. She obviously hadn’t expected someone to follow her, not after her little act in their. “You're really campaigning for bitch-of-the-year, aren't you?”
She turned to face me.
Buffy: “As defending champion, you nervous?” Meow. For the first time since she slammed me against the wall on her first day here, I can actually see her as being the leader of a group. I can see her as being a total bitch. I can see her being me.
Me: “I can hold my own. You know, we've never really been close, which is nice, 'cause I don't really like you that much, but... you have on occasion saved the world and stuff, so I'm gonna... do you a favour.” *What I should do is tell you how lucky you are, and slap you for treating those people who love you like dirt.* I thought, but I didn’t. Because, well, she's the slayer, and could kill me if she wanted.
Buffy: “And this great favour is...”
Me: “I'm gonna give you some advice. Get over it.” Whatever it was that was causing her to walk all over her friends didn’t matter. Nothing was more important than a real friend. I should know, I have everything but.
Buffy: “Excuse me?” I could see some emotion on her face, almost as if she wanted to tell me what was bothering her, but in a fleet second it was gone and I knew I imagined it. Why would she want to confide in me? She doesn’t even like me, which is fine with me.
Me: “Whatever is causing the Joan Collins 'tude, deal with it. Embrace the pain, spank your inner moppet, whatever, but get over it. 'Cause pretty soon you're not even gonna have the loser friends you've got now.” The ones I never had, probably never will. All I ever wanted was to belong, but I don’t not really. I’m popular, rich, beautiful, but I’m lonely. Hollow. I’d give up everything for a true friend.
Buffy: “I think it's about time you start minding you own business.” It was obvious I struck a nerve, so I left it that.
Me: “It's long past.”
Buffy turned and left.
Buffy: “Nighty-night.” She flipped up her hood, and walked away. Still I tried once more to get a rise out of her, to get her to care.
Me: “I'll just see if Angel feels like dancing.” I knew her wouldn’t, but I just wanted to annoy her, but I didn’t. She never turned around.
I was suddenly grabbed by two vampires coming out of the shadows and dragged into an adjacent building. As soon as I got inside, they knocked me out cold, as I lost consciousness my thoughts were on Buffy, and how, lucky she is.
She has everything I never will, everything money can’t by. It can by you friends, popularity, even beauty, but not love or belonging. Those have to be earned, and as hard as I try I’ll never get them.