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Buffy spun around, ready to attack, but stopped herself as she realized it was Sebastien. In the dark kitchen in the middle of the night.
"Sebastien?" she breathed. "What are you doing here?"
"I couldn’t sleep," he answered. "What about you?"
"Me too. Neither, I mean. I couldn’t sleep either."
"Bad dreams?" he inquired. Buffy started, pushing a piece of hair behind her ear.
"How did you know?" There had been more dreams about Angel and Sebastien . . . she’d stopped being able to tell which was which anymore. How could she choose between the man she’d loved that had been torn from her and the man she didn’t even know? Was it even a choice or was she imagining it all?
"I have a sense about these things," Sebastien said, pulling her mind back to the present.
"Can I get you anything? Food, water?" she inquired, trying to focus on reality.
"Maybe something to drink. Do you have anything . . . stronger than water?" Buffy blinked, slightly surpised, then despite herself smiled a little. She’d thought he had a trace of the bad boy about him . . . it seemed she hadn’t been wrong. She probably shouldn’t, but . . .
"What the hell," Buffy muttered, then smiled at him. "My mom keeps some stuff in the cabinet. Will you lift me up?" She gestured to a high cabinet. You could only reach it by standing on a very high stool or the counter. Buffy could pull herself up easily, but it would look a bit suspicious.
"I’d be happy to," Sebastien said. He caught Buffy around the waist and she pushed up on the counter, trying not to seem too strong. His hands around her waist burned and she could feel every breath in his body. She hadn’t been aware of anyone else like this except Angel. In her whole life, no one had made her feel like this. Though Angel hadn’t breathed.
Not taking breaths made her think of how long he could kiss, and she pulled her mind away from the subject, using his arms to haul herself up and steady herself as she stood on the counter. She opened the cabinet—her mother still thought that heights would keep her out of trouble for some odd reason—and eyed the assortment of bottles.
Fifteen minutes later Buffy was beginning to feel a bit blurry.
"Maybe I should go back to bed," she said, standing up and nearly stumbling. He stood as well and put a hand on her waist to steady her. A part of her mind—the Slayer part, that wasn’t affected by the alcohol—noticed that he didn’t seem at all drunk, though he’d had more than she.
"I’ll put everything away," he said, suddenly very close. She nodded, not breaking eye contact. She could almost hear Angel’s voice, telling her he should see her because . . . because . . . why did being around Sebastien make her think of Angel? Why could she just think of Sebastien? Or no one at all!
"Thas good," Buffy said, noticing vaguely that her speech was slightly slurred.
"Do you want me to help you to your room?" he asked. Buffy shook her head.
"I’ll be fine," she said. "It’s just upstairs."
"Be careful."
"I’m always careful," she breathed and then his mouth was on hers and it was so very sweet, but she didn’t know if the sweetness was his or Angel’s or just the alcohol pulsing through her veins like fire.
She shouldn’t be doing this. Not to herself, certainly not to him. What right did she have to lead him on when she had no idea what was going on in her own mind, not to mention her heart and soul? Buffy pushed away suddenly, swaying.
"I’m sorry," he said quickly.
"No, no, it’s all right. I just . . . I need to go back to bed," Buffy said, trying to muddle out what was going on.
"Good night," Sebastien said. "Sweet dreams." As Buffy passed him, she wondered if he knew how very sweet her dreams would be, and how very bitter the waking.
Sebastien didn’t go to bed right away; he put away the alcohol, then sat in the kitchen, thinking. About her.
Everything about her inflamed his senses. He wanted her as he’d never wanted anyone else . . . except perhaps Kathryn. But Buffy was everything Kathryn was and everythign she could never be as well. Buffy was what Kathryn pretended to be, only genuine. And he wanted her all the more for it.
It was more than that though. It was more than not being able to have her. She made him laugh, made him forget Kathryn and his diary and New York. She was like sunlight, brightening everything around her.
He had to have her.
The bet only made it sweeter. He would have Buffy and then he would have Kathryn, because she would be his. And he would have it all, dark and light, day and night. Sebastien pulled out his diary and opened it. Facing each other on the pages were two pictures, one face, two souls. Buffy and Kathryn. Good and evil. Sebastien smiled and finally went back to bed.
"Is there something going on with Buffy and Sebastien?" Cordelia asked as they sat around a table at the Bronze, watching the two dance.
"Cordy!" Willow hissed.
"What? I was just asking!" the cheerleader exclaimed. "Well?" Kathryn’s mouth curved a little.
"Well I don’t really know," she said. "But he is quite a muffin."
"A muffin?" Xander demanded. "He is not! He’s too . . . pretty. Pretty boy, that’s what he is! Buffy wouldn’t like him anyway! She’s still in lov–still taking that chastity thing seriously!"
"Chastity thing?" Kathryn asked innocently.
"Buffy swore a vow of chastity," Xander said seriously. Willow and Cordelia both hit him, but the damage was done.
"I’m sure nothing’s going on then. They’re just friends," Kathryn said serenely.
"Yeah, just friends," Willow echoed, watching her friend with concern. Buffy looked like she was enjoying the dance, but there was something in her eyes . . . Willow wanted her to be happy and move on from Angel, but she didn’t really think she was ready yet. It hadn’t been that long, after all, and Angelus wasn’t exactly helping. Kathryn’s eyes flickered as if she’d seen something, but she turned to all of them with a smile.
"Why don’t all of you dance? I don’t want to keep you," she said, looking at Willow and Oz and Xander and Cordelia.
"Would you like to dance?" Oz asked Willow.
"Sure," she said. "If it’s okay?" Kathryn nodded.
"Go on," she shooed them. They left the table and went to join Buffy and Sebastien on the dance floor. Kathryn turned to Xander and Cordelia. "What are you waiting for? Dance! I’m kind of hot, so I’ll go get a breath of fresh air, and come back in a second, okay?"
"Come on Cordy!" Xander cried, dragging his girlfriend from the table. She gave Kathryn a look of resignment, and Buffy’s cousin smiled slightly. She left her coat with the rest of their things and walked outside, looking for him as she went. She knew she had seen him in the doorway.
Kathryn stepped outside into the warm California night. She smiled at the bouncer and stepped a little way from the door, turning the corner into a nearby alley. She leaned up against the wall, then realized she wasn’t alone. She smiled.
"Good evening," a smooth voice greeted her.
"Oh hello. Fancy meeting you here," she said softly. He was behind her, but she didn’t turn. She knew he was close, but she couldn’t feel his body heat at all. It was almost eerie.
"What’s a girl like you doing alone in the dark?" he asked.
"Wouldn’t you like to know?" she countered. "Besides, I’m not alone." He was just like Sebastien, playing him was easy. She had to entice him but not let him have what he wanted. Not yet anyway.
"No," he whispered, so close it startled her. "You’re not." She felt the brush of lips on her neck and she drew a little, quick breath, then drew away, finally turning to see him.
"Now now, we musn’t get too eager," she chided him.
"Musn’t we?" he asked, his dark eyes smoldering. Her lips curved sensually.
"That can wait until later. First, I want to know more about you," Kathryn instructed. His smile was mocking and she felt a second of doubt. He closed the gap between them in a step and grabbed her rather forcefully. A rush of exhiliration filled her. Usually she had control; for the first time, someone was controlling her. Not that she would let it work, but it was nice to pretend for a little while.
"Sweet Kathryn–it’s Kathryn right?–I don’t think you really understand. You see, I’m the master here, and you’re my little pet. And a good pet does what the master says," Angel purred. Kathryn waited for the kiss she knew was coming, but it didn’t. He let go of her and turned away abruptly. "But I don’t feel like it right now. I’ll see you round." Kathryn watched him go, blinking in surprise, then smiled as he dissapeared. This was going perfectly.
Buffy hummed softly as she walked through the graveyard. She’d managed to sneak out while Kathryn slept. Now she had time to think. Or not.
A vampire leapt at her and she stopped it with a roundhouse. She punched it as soon as it rose and flipped over to another one, exchanging blows. It felled her and she rolled on the ground, jumping back so the two charging vampires ran into each other. She pulled out a stake and killed one, then took a left hook to the jaw from the second. She recovered quickly and blocked it’s next punch, grabbing it’s arm and flipping it to the ground. She straddle it and staked it quickly, thumping to the ground as it dissolved into dust. She glanced around. No more.
"Buffy, Buffy, Buffy," a familiar voice said behind her. Okay, so one more. Buffy pushed herself up and turned to face him. Oh God he was beautiful. "Very poor form I’m sorry to say. Though I did like the straddling. You can try that one on me."
"No thanks," she said acidly. "Maybe . . . hmm . . . never?" He clicked his tongue at her.
"Really Buff, you should get over that whole sarcasm thing. Really not attractive."
"Oh, I’m hurt. I’m going to go home and cry in my pillow," Buffy snapped. It hurt so much to see him like this. Whenever she looked at him she remembered all the amazing things; their first kiss, and all the ones after that; when he gave her the claddagh ring; making love to him so sweetly. But this wasn’t Angel. Angel was gone. She didn’t know how to let him go.
Maybe Sebastien could help.
Where had that thought come from? How could Sebastien possibly help? He didn’t even know about vampires. But he could love you, a part of her whispered. And you could love him. And it was true, she realized suddenly. She could love him.
"Lover?" Angelus asked, seeing her attention was elsewhere. Buffy looked at him and willed the pain to go away.
"Angel?"
"Watch your back," he said, blowing her a kiss and starting away. He turned back to look at her, still walking. "If you decide you want a reunion, you know where to find me." She glared after him but she didn’t follow, couldn’t follow. She still couldn’t kill him. And his laugh followed her the rest of the way home.
She opened the door so silently, so carefully. He didn’t stir; he was asleep, the covers pushed down below his chest, his curls touseled and his breathing regular. He looked so young asleep. So innocent. He looked like an angel, but not like Angel. Buffy swallowed, watching him. Of all the people in the world, was the one that could save her staying in her own house.
Unsure what she was doing or how she was doing it, Buffy walked forward slowly. Kathryn was still asleep in their room. After what she’d realized in the graveyard though, she had needed to see Sebastien. To look at him. And maybe more.
Buffy knelt beside his bed, as silent as a cat. He didn’t stir. Her hand hovered over his face, his hair. He was beautiful. His chest lifted and fell, over and over. She held her hair back, so it wouldn’t brush his face and wake him up and closed her eyes, carefully pressing her lips to his. He stirred without waking, his mouth welcoming hers. She kissed him softly, tenderly, then rose and watched him for a second later. He slept on, somehow. Perhaps he thought it was a dream. She wondered who he dreamt of. Then, a part of her not wanting to leave at all, ever, she left the room, closing the door carefully behind her.
In the dark, silent room, Sebastien Valmont opened his eyes, shaken to his
very soul.