|
|
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. They belong to 20th Century Fox, Joss Whedon, and Mutant Enemy. I am using them without permission, however I am not making any money off them so please do not sue me.
Author's Notes: This is #9 in my Opinion series. This is Xander’s POV when he tells Faith Angel is alive in Revelations. The series is basically particular scenes through the eyes of a certain character, if you want a certain scene and character (example: Xander, Prophecy Girl, the scene where he saves Buffy.) Just email me and ask. I’m more than willing to do requests, on one condition: You send me feedback! That’s it, thanks. Oh, one other little thing, this piece doesn’t reflect well on Xander. I don’t like him myself, and some of that reflects on the story. Sorry.
Hatred is a powerful thing. It takes control of your senses, and all your thinking is hazed. I know that because that’s what happens when I think about Angel. I hate him so much, and all I can think about is how much I’d like to see him die. Why else would I have reacted the way I did when Faith told me she wanted to kill him? I didn’t try to talk her out of it, instead I asked if I could go along. I wanted her to kill him, and I wanted to see it. Sick, isn’t it? Let me explain.
I was at The Bronze that evening, playing pool. I made my breaking shot and went over to the pocket where I accidentally sunk my cue ball. Pool’s just not my game. I retrieved it and walked back around the table to continue practising. Faith approached the table.
Faith: “You look pissed.” What an understatement. I was ready to kill, and I wasn’t sure who. Buffy or Angel.
Me: “Rough day.” I chose my shot.
Faith: “Tell me about it.” Couldn’t she see I’d rather be alone? I really didn’t need company right then.
I placed the cue ball.
Me: “Rather just shoot.” I aimed my cue stick.
Faith: “Don't think I don't know what you and your pals were talking about behind my back today.” Did she? I doubted it, unless she was in on it to. But I didn’t think so, she had complained to Willow and I the other day that if she evens mentioned Angel Buffy got all tense. Now we knew why.
I took my shot.
Me: “Yeah? And what was that?” I looked around for my next shot.
Faith: “More about this glove deal than you're saying.” She was right about that.
Me: “The Glove of Myhnegon? Right.” *I wish it was about that.* I thought as I aimed my cue stick. “How'd you like a hit of some real news: Angel's still alive.”
I took my shot and started walking around the table again, looking for my next shot. Faith looked at me in wide-eyed surprise.
Faith: “The vampire.” Did she know any other Angel’s?
Me: “Back in town. Saw him myself. Toting the popular and famous glove.” *Back with Buffy.* I added silently to myself, although she denied it. But I knew she still loved him and that made me hate him even more.
I bent down again to take aim for my shot.
Faith: “Angel.” She said his name with the same hatred I did, I guess as a slayer she was programmed to hate him. But then again so was Buffy, and look at her. She loved him. The thought of that made me sick, it was wrong, but try to tell her that.
I made the shot and watched the balls ricochet. Faith continued.
Faith: “Guy like that, with that kind of glove, could kill a whole mess of people.”
Me: “Said the same thing to Buffy myself. Weird how she didn't seem to care.” I aimed for my next shot.
Faith: “Buffy knew he was alive.” It wasn’t a question. Obviously this news filled in some blanks for her too. Like why Buffy had been acting so strange.
I took my shot.
Faith: “I can't believe her.” *Join the club.* I thought bitterly.
I walked around the table.
Me: “She says he's clean.” But I didn’t believe that, and Faith didn’t either. A guy like that just doesn’t become good. But I had seen him good, she hadn’t. She just knew about how bad he had been, I had seen him when he had his soul. But I didn’t care, I hated him just the same. I really didn’t care if he had a soul or not, I just wanted him dead.
Faith: “Yeah, well, I say we can't afford to find out.” She had my full attention now. “I say I deal with this problem right now. I say I slay.”
Me: “Can I come?” I wanted to watch him die. That made me remember something I told Angel a long time ago. I think it was that he was going to die, and I was going to be there. Well, it looked as if that was about to come true.
I put down my cue stick and we headed out.
I wasn’t thinking about right or wrong. I didn’t care if he had a soul, if he really was good again. All I cared about was how much I hated him, how much I wanted him dead. That’s all that mattered to me. I didn’t even think about Buffy, but that wasn’t new. I hadn’t thought about her before either. No, it was all about me. Me and my hatred.