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Part 3
*The Following years of Angel's life flash to ceratin events that have remained fresh in his mind throughout the years . . . .*
Angel can feel the nervousness in his body. He pulls on his cuffs and tugs at his jacket. *Is it warm in here?* He glances up at the ceiling and the beauty of the place brings a peace to him. He feels a hand upon his shoulder.
"You alright, buddy?" It's Xander. He smiles at him and then the music starts. Across the rows of people arrayed behind him, Angel watches Buffy emerge, led out by Giles. His heart skips a beat as he sees Buffy in her wedding dress. Her hair is up and she looks so beautiful that Angel momentarily wonders what she sees in him.
Angel and Buffy's eyes meet and there is nothing but the purity of love as they smile at one another. Giles escorts Buffy to the altar where Angel awaits patiently. The Watcher places Buffy's hand in Angel's and smiles softly before taking his seat beside Joyce. Angel looks down at Buffy's hand and he cannot remember having been so happy.
"Dearly beloved," the service begins, "we are gathered here today . . . ."
*THE YEARS FLASH BY ONCE AGAIN . . . .*
Angel paces the room silently. He looks up at the clock and bites nervously upon his nails. He tries to sit down, but within moments he is back on his feet again. Xander comes into the room with a cup of coffee and he offers it to Angel.
"It'll be okay, Angel. Relax." Xander takes a seat beside Cordelia who is fast asleep. At that moment, Willow and Oz come running into the room.
"Are we too late?" Willow asks nervously. "We tried to get here as sonn as possible, but silly here, " she points at Oz, "had to sign autographs at the airport and we're not too late, are we? Is she okay?"
Angel laughs feeling suddenly at ease. Only Willow could have been more nervous than Angel at a time like this. He embraces her softly. "She's fine. We're still waiting." He kisses her forehead. "How's the tour going Oz?" Xander asks, the two shaking hands.
Oz sighs. "It's great, but I'll be glad when it's over. With Willow teaching now, it's too long to be away from her."
Angel shakes Oz' hand. "Who would've thought "A Werewolf in Love" would sell so many CDs?"
"Hey," he replies. "That was your idea if I recall correctly." The two share a quick laugh.
It's a reunion of sorts. Though the gang has kept in touch, only an event of this magnitude could bring them all together at 4:30 in the morning. Angel watches as even Giles and Joyce awake from their fifteen minute naps. Even Cordelia wakes up, though reluctantly.
"Sir . . . ."
Silence fills the room as Angel turns to see a nurse holding a bundle. Angel makes his way slowly to her. The nurse smiles and offers the package. "Your son."
Angel takes the newborn into his arms and his kness go weak. Once he had been darkness, a body without a soul, the bringer of death, and the bearer of evil. But here now was life, a being he had helped to create, a bundle of beauty with Buffy's eyes and his nose. Tears had begun to fall now. Angel cries at the joy that life triunphing over death has brought forth. He looks up at his friends and smiles despite the tears. "My son," he offers.
" . . . and daughter," adds Buffy, entering the room on a wheelchair with another child in her arms.
"Twins!" Willow yells happily, as she carefully hugs Buffy.
Angel kneels beside Buffy to admire his children, their children. She notices the tears in his eyes and with her free hand wipes them away. Willow is leaning on over them, already speaking baby-talk to the infants. Angel and Buffy's look lingeres as Buffy mouths, "I love you" to him. Angel takes a breath as a new world is open to him.
*ONCE AGAIN, THE YEARS OF ANGEL'S LIFE FLASH BY . . . .*
Again, a black tuxedo, but this time it is someone else with the urge to escape.** Angel glances across at Buffy.** He smiles at her, and she returns the gesture.
" . . . .together in holy matrimony . . . ."
Angel can feel the mixture of emotions emanating from Xander, who is ahead of him.** Cordelia stands tall and elegant, but Angel can feel her fear and love as her eyes shift sideways to glance at Xander and then back to the man performing the ceremony.
" . . . .if there is anyone who can give reason why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace . . . ."
Angel watches as Cordelia's hand grips Xander's with great affection. Then it is time. Angel steps forward as he hands Xander the rings. The two lock eyes and they exchange a look. It is one that only the best of friends can share. At that moment, Angel understands the true meaning of friendship. Xander nods with a grin. He understands as well.
" . . . .with this ring . . . ."
Angel smiles. *True friendship* And of all the places, with Xander. Who would have thought? The wedding continues, as the event becomes a blur sliding across time with an infite amount of other events that have transpired during Angel's life . . . .
The sun is setting off in the distance as a gentle wind blows. It is a warm night, one filled with barking dogs and laughing children. Angel and Buffy are sitting on a porch swing, cuddled together, watching their family arrayed before them.
Angel Jr. (AJ) and Jennifer run about with Xander and Cordelia's son Alex and Oz and Willow's two kids, Katherine and Michael. Xander is in the middle of the children as they play a friendly game of good guys and bad guys.
" . . . you'll never take me alive . . . ." Xander says in a deep voice, but in the next second, AJ knocks Xander down and the kids pile atop him. "Help," Xander gets out as the children bounce on him joyfully.
Cordelia, off to the side, rools her eyes, and watches, annoyed. But in the next second she charges forward and begins rolling on the ground with the children as well. Inevitably, she lands atop Xander and the two share a passionate kiss with a series of "yuks" and "ughs" from the children. Buffy laughs as does Angel who is holding her close. He looks over at Oz who comments that the food is almost done. Angel can feel his stomach growl in eager anticipation. He glances over at Giles and Willow, who are deep in conversation,and Joyce sitting next to Giles. Her arm is around him and she tries to interject what little she knows about the magical arts.
It is a good time. A happy time.
Angel takes in the wonderful scent of Buffy's hair as he thinks back on all that has happened. He can recall with great clarity his life, the dark and the light, his youth and his maturity. He recalls his wrongs, but he also acknowledges all he has done right, or has tried to. Angel, displaced somewhat in time, has lived through different centuries. He has watched the world change and yet, his greatest of memories are ones of the recent past. Fortunately, those memories of his darkside no longer plague his every waking hour's thoughts, but he has not forgotten nor will he allow himself to. For he cannot forget those lost in vain.
Buffy notices the far look in Angel's eyes. "Angel, what's wrong?"
Angel smiles at her concern. "Nothing. I was just thinking how lucky I am. I was born long ago in a world that was only a shell of what the world is now. I lived during a time only history books can tell you of now, and I was also able to live during this time, a world of wonders and technology. I don't know . . . I guess I'm rambling."
"No," Buffy sat up to face him. "Go on."
"Well, it's just that, well sometimes I feel like becoming a vampire was in some perverse way, a gift. Don't misunderstand me, because what I became was a vile creature, but . . . I mean . . . I would never have come to appreciate life the way I do. I would never have known you. That is something I cannot fathom, life without you there and I see now, that , I was never truly alive until I laid my eyes upon you. If I had never been sired, if Darla had let me walk home without incident. I would never have truly lived. I would have grown older, I woulh have died, but there would have been nothing but a wasted life. But instead I was given a chance at a life, and this is the greatest personification of the word. This," Angel points at all around him, "is life. This is living. Look at all I have, that we have. Two beautiful children, the greatest of friends . . . happiness." Angel pulls Buffy close to him again. A question comes to mind. "Have you been happy?"
"Angel, do you remember when Giles was able to give you back your life?"
He nods silently.
"We spent so much time admiring all that this world offered, even the minutest of details that most people ignore in their daily lives. Then you made the ultimate sacrifice to save me. You gave up your life for me, that was the greatest act of love any person could ever have made. And then you left, for me. I could not understand. I do now . . . kind of. Life is too precious to be wasted. But you were given a gift by the fates and you never once took for granted that gift. I have never known a special person like you, Angel and perhaps the world will never know of someone like you again. . . now I'm rambling." Buffy quickly wipes tears from her eyes. "You asked me if I've been happy. You've given me two beautiful children, you've given me love . . . Angel without you, I would not know the definition of the word."
Angel knows that he has lived a life much different than others. He has known the purity of evilo, but he has also known the ecstasy of the truest happiness. He is content with the life he was allowed to live, for he has lived a life more fulfilling than most ever have. Then Angel thinks of Whistler. Silently he thanks his friend for the gift of life; the generosity of a demon who saved Angel from the dregs of society and gave him an existence worth something.
And Angel understands that there is more to just being happy. He is a different man than the one who walked Ireland all those years ago. He is no longer the weak boy sired by a beautiful vampiress, but a man who was allowed to mature and take hold of responsibilities he once avoided. And by doing so, he has shed the weakness he once had and grasped the strength that was always within him.
Angel kisses Buffy lightly as Oz calls everyone to dinner. Angel's daughter grabs his and Buffy's hands. "Come on." As Angel scoops her up, he looks down at Buffy and says, "I love you."
Happiness achieved . . . .
*THE YEARS STREAK ACROSS LIKE A BLUR*
Angel had taken to the streets with Buffy against her wishes. She was still a Slayer, he was a former demon. He still was a formidable opponent, but he lacked the weapon of immortality and aggresion he had once combated evil with.
The group of vampires were out for a fight, and many died from both Buffy and Angel, but accidents happen. After all, we're only human. In the end, a stake to Angel's heart brought him down. A tragically ironic end . . . .
*I can hear Buffy calling to me now. It's a soft echo across a desolate space. It's strange, but when Darla took my life so long ago and cursed me with immoratlity, I saw nothing, but death. It was like a dark shadow that crossed my eyes and blinded me. To be honest, it was truly frightening. But this death that looms before me is a retribution of sorts. Retribution. It's a sad word; ambiguous in that it can be both a punishment and a reward. That is what my death is. I can feel her arms around me now, she's holding me. She's begging me to stay and I want to, God knows I do, but there's a comfortable silence falling over me. I see a bright light ahead and there are people coming toward me. I see my parents, my father with a pride in his eyes that I had never seen before. My mother is beckoning me to join them. Jenny Calendar is there, bright-eyed and happy. Whistler smiles, tipping his hat to me. I look down on myself, and there's comfort in seeing my body there instead of a pile of ashes. All that crosses my mind as I lay dying is that I died for Buffy. It is a sacrifice I would make a million times more in a million more lives.*
*This is my moment of clarity. It is both unprecedented and peaceful. I am opened to a total vision of all that has taken place and all that will. I see all, yet I'm not sad that my life was cut short. I lived a life that few have ever, and it is one without regrets. I see my children, strong yet caring, succeeding in lives that I was partially denied. I see my friends, happy, but never forgetting me. I see my wife, ready to be with me again, but continuing the fight for humanity. And the realization that I come to is that Buffy made this life worthwhile. She made the me who was once weak, strong. She made the me who was once empty, complete.
*Goodbye, Buffy, I'll be waiting for you. I love you.*