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Part 2
Buffy was standing in a dark place, haunted by faces that flitted in and out of her vision. Her face was tear streaked and her eyes seemed to dull from weariness. Slowly the faces stopped and left her in darkness. She saw a form approaching her as the darkness lightened to a false dawn gray. "I'm dreaming aren't I?" Buffy asked as Ms. Calendar approached.
"Yeah," she replied, "But I'm real. A ghost actually. Came to give you a little advice."
"Why?"
"I was wrong for what I did … for not telling you and Giles and the rest about being Romani. I was wrong because I didn't do my job. If I had, the whole breaking the curse thing would have at least been delayed … or so my ego tells me. The spell Willow found was my redemption. My last act and wish. Now I've caused more pain with it instead of good. I can't let that happen." Ms. Calendar stopped and waited for a reply, but Buffy only stared back at her. "I came to give you some advice about Angel."
"I get it. If Angel and I get back together, you get your redemption and can rest in peace, is that is?" Buffy said a little bitterly.
"Something like that," Ms. Calendar replied.
"Well, I don't like your reasons, but I'll take your advice whatever it might be. At this point I'd do almost anything to get him back," Buffy said, beginning to break down.
"Then talk to him. Talk him out of it."
"He won't listen."
"All you're telling him is that you love him and you want to be with him. That's good, but you need more. He said he was thinking with his head, so fight back with logic. Why would it be a good idea to have a fighter in town with the strength of a vampire?"
"I don't know."
"Think! Why would was it good that Faith came to town? Before she became evil."
"Because we can watch each others backs."
"That applies to Angel as well doesn't it? And it's a logical reason he can't argue with," Ms. Calendar told her.
Buffy seemed heartened at this and continued, "Because I can get help without worrying so much about protecting him." Ms. Calendar nodded encouragingly. "Because he has fighting experience and knows about stuff I don't. Because our weaknesses and strengths complement each other … Because we're a great fighting team and I can trust him. Because I know we would die for each other," Buffy finished quietly.
"That's good," Ms. Calendar said, "But you have to hit him with emotion too."
"Emotion?" Buffy asked, tears coming to her eyes, "I love him! What else can I do?"
"Why did he say he was going to leave?"
"Because he wants me to have a better life, as if any life without him would be worth living."
"How do you know you prefer life with him, to without him?"
"Because I tried it!" Buffy cried, "I sent him to Hell, but I might as well have been there too. I felt like I was dying. I didn't care about anyone. I didn't care about me. Everything hurt."
"You were without your friends then too. When you came back, you started dating again."
Buffy made a noise that sounded half like a sob and half like a laugh. "You mean Scott?" she asked incredulously, "I went out with Scott because my friends wouldn't stop bugging me. He was sweet, but there was nothing there. I still loved Angel."
"That's good. You're thinking on your feet and you're using actual ammunition instead of heartfelt pledges. But you have one more obstacle to overcome."
"What's that?"
"You have to let go of your pride. Even in front of Angel you won't let yourself cry. You have to be able to tell him all the things inside if you don't want him to leave."
Buffy shook her head, silent tears running down her face. "I won't do that."
"Why not? Don't you want him to stay?"
"Yes," she sobbed, "But not if he doesn't want to stay. I won't keep him here by pity if love won't work … He said that he didn't want us to be together … what if … what if he doesn't want to be together because he doesn't feel anything? If I did that, I wouldn't know if he stayed because he wanted to or out of guilt or pity." Buffy began crying out right, sobs shaking her small frame.
"Shh," Ms. Calendar said, gathering her into her arms, "It's okay. If you're not sure of his love, that's okay … everything's going to be okay … I promise … if you two can just keep it together until after the Ascension, I promise it will get better."
"No it won't," Buffy sobbed, "He's leaving after the Ascension."
"If you can keep him here. If you can love each other enough to stay together until then I promise it will get better," Ms. Calendar said, gazing into Buffy's face. Buffy nodded and then went back to crying on her shoulder, falling into a deep sleep.