|
|
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. They belong to 20th Century Fox, Joss Whedon, and Mutant Enemy. I am using them without permission, however I am not making any money off them so please do not sue me.
Author's Notes: This is #10 in my Opinion series. This is Buffy’s POV during her birthday celebration with Joyce. The series is basically particular scenes through the eyes of a certain character, if you want a certain scene and character (example: Xander, Prophecy Girl, the scene where he saves Buffy.) Just email me and ask. I’m more than willing to do requests, on one condition: You send me feedback! That’s it, thanks.
I know Mom tries, but I can't tell her anything. My birthday was so hard, and when we were watching that movie all I wanted to do was break down and cry. I wanted to tell her what was really going on, but I couldn’t. No I had to keep my horrible nightmare to myself......
We were watching "Stowaway. Which is one of Mom’s favourites. I personally don’t like black and white movies, and at that moment they just reminded me of Angel. Being old and all.
Lyrics: Good night, my love / My moment with you now is ending / It was so heavenly holding you close to me/
I was sitting on the couch and Mom came in holding a plate with two cupcakes, one with a candle, and a large coffee mug.
Mom: “Did I miss anything?”
Me: “Um... just some singing and some running around.” I was listening to the lyrics, even they reminded me of Angel. Maybe because our moment had ended, and I couldn’t figure out how to accept that.
Mom sat down the plate and mug and looked around for the matches.
Mom: “Mm. I'm sorry I didn't have time to make you a real cake.” She found the matches.
Me: “No. This is good.” *Because, personally, I just want to forget my birthday.* I thought bitterly, fighting the tears that wanted to come.
Mom sat back on the couch with her feet up.
Mom: “But we're still going shopping on Saturday.” I looked at her, I really didn’t want to go to the mall. Not after what had happened there with Angel, but how could I tell her that? She continued speaking.” So what'd you do for your birthday? Did you have fun?”
I looked down at my lap and then up at her, trying to figure out what to say.
Me: “I got older.” *I also lost my virginity and my true love, unleashed a terrible demon, and saved the world. Again.* I thought, wishing I could say it out. But what I said was true, I did get older. A lot older. I grew up over night.
She looked at me.
Mom: “You look the same to me.” *Yes, but have you ever really seen me? The real me?* I asked her silently, knowing the answer.
Mom leaned back to the table and struck a match to light the candle. The wick started to burn and she blew out the match. She set the matchbook and spent match on the table and leaned back on the couch again facing me.
Mom: “Happy Birthday.” She smiled. “I don't have to sing, do I?”
I looked down at my hands.
Me: “No.” All I wanted to do was go to my room and cry my eyes out. Like I had the night before. But I couldn’t, it would have hurt Mom’s feelings. Besides, I didn’t want to cry again, I wanted to get over it.
Mom pointed to the burning candle.
Mom: “Well, go on, make a wish.”
I stared at it for a long moment. I knew that there was only thing I wanted and I couldn’t have it. I wanted Angel back, but no amount of wishing could make it happen. I had lost him forever.
Me: “I'll just let it burn.”
Mom reached up and stroked my hair. I leaned over and rested my head on her. Mom continued gently stroking my hair. The song in the movie came to an end.
Lyrics: Sleep tight, my love / Good night, my love / Remember that you're mine, sweetheart/
As we watched I thought about Angel, I’d always be his. No matter what.
Mom: “What are you thinking about?”
Me: “Nothing really, just thoughts.” I hated lying to her, but what else could I do? It’s not like I could ever let her into my real world.
That night I realised just how little my mother knows about me. She can never know the real to me, we live in separate worlds. Like Angel and I did, but that was different. Angel’s world and mine touched, I left Mom’s world and I can never go back. Just like she can never get into mine, we’ll always live in separate worlds.