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Part 4
Angel awoke slowly, the sun beaming down on him from the high window. He rolled over onto his side to hide from the blinding light, and was amazed by the sight. Buffy laid facing toward him, her golden tresses shined in the life-giving sun She looked so peaceful while still in the mist of sleep, that Angel wished he was with her. But at that moment, he was now grateful to be awake to enjoy this short-time of humanity, he finally got to see Buffy in the sunlight. Buffy began to stir, she blinked her eyes open and was greeted by Angel's face, a smile crawled on her face. Until the clouds of sleep left her mind and everything came back to her.
Buffy slowly sat up and stretched out her arms, she looked at Angel. "Hey."
Angel smiled slightly, "Hey, how did you sleep?"
"Fine" She said plainly
"Oh, good."
Angel glanced away from her and turned back at the sound of her voice.
"What do we do today?" Buffy asked, trying to prepare herself.
"Well, we should get dressed first, and..." Angel felt a rumble in his stomach and realized his stomach was growling. Amazing, he thought. "And get some breakfast."
Buffy smiled slightly, it was kind of funny to hear Angel's stomach growl in hunger. Angel saw her smile and couldn't help but smile too, it felt good to him to actually smile, without all the dark cloud of guilt surrounding him. He felt free. But he wondered did she feel as free as he did.
Buffy climbed out of the bed and walked to the closet door and went inside to get dressed, without even glancing at Angel, it wasn't easy. Angel eventually got out of bed and went to another closet that contained his clothes.
For some reason, Buffy had no trouble getting into her clothes. She thought it would be difficult getting into a corset-like bodice but it came simple to her, within 5 minutes she had her clothes on, and her hair brushed and pinned up. Buffy glanced in the mirror going over her ankle-length beige dress, the dress brought something out of her that she'd never see in herself before, an older, more mature look. After admiring herself, Buffy walked out of the room and into the bed room, at the sametime Angel walked in. He was dressed in a white shirt with a knee length black jacket and black pants, old habits never die. Once again his breath was taken away, Buffy looked exquisite in anything.
Angel smiled, and walked over to her and held his arm out. "Shall we go?"
Buffy was still unsure about Angel, but seeing him smile cleared her mind of any confusion she had, only for the time being. A small part of her couldn't stand how happy he was, while deep down she was still in pain, even though she hid it well. She tried to hide her emotions, and nodded at him. "Yeah." She took his hand and they walked out of the bedroom, and headed to the dining room.
When they reached the dining room, the table was filled with a variety of food and drink. Fruits and bread were beautifully arranged on the table, and two pitchers of water and orange juice were set next to them, it was lovely. Angel pulled Buffy's chair out for her, before heading to his own seat across from her. Sarah came through the door smiling, she nodded toward Buffy and Angel and went to another room, a beat later she came back with two plates filled with more food. Buffy and Angel thanked her and began eating, Buffy didn't eat much she wasn't that hungry, Angel on the other hand was ravenous. He had not eaten any solid food for over 200 years, he ate everything his stomach would allow.
After finishing their breakfast, Buffy and Angel sat in silence, they didn't know what to say to each other, a moment ago they were acting as if nothing was wrong, that they were a couple again. Of course they were acting, now that they were alone everything came back to them.
Sarah broke the silence when she came back into the room, she beagn clearing the table. "Excuse me, I just wanted to remind you that Madam Harker and her husband will be here for tea this afternoon." She said carrying the plates and utensils with her.
Buffy's eyes landed on Angel. "Can I see you in the library please?" She said tightly. She tossed her napkin on the table, lifting her skirt and walked toward the library, Angel followed.
When they reached for the library, Buffy locked the door and looked at Angel. "What are we gonna do now?" Acting for Sarah and the others was no problem, but now they had to really put their acting skills to the test, with friends of the people whose body they inhabited.
Angel exhaled heavily, he didn't know why she was freaking out everytime something doesn't go her way, Angel just wanted to put the past behind him and enjoy the time they had here, since they could do nothing but try to adjust and enjoy it, but she was making it a little difficult. "It's alright Buffy, we just continue what were doing, it'll be alright." He said annoyingly
She caught onto the tone his voice gave off, and she didn't like it. "That's easy for you to say, you know how to act for people." Buffy said sarcastically, in a way it came out rather coldly, and part of her at the moment felt that way toward him.
Angel knew it too, "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing" She said, she was getting agitated.
Angel wouldn't let her drop the subject, she had hit a nerve when she said those words to him, and maybe now was the time to get some things straight. "No, it was something." He said demandingly. "What did you mean?"
Buffy gave him an icy stare, "Well basically this should come naturally to you, lying, pretending for people. I mean you did it to me, so I figured...
"You had to bring that up didn't you, why are you acting like a..." Angel stopped, he was getting as agitated as she was, and was about to say something that would put him in a position he did not want to be in.
Buffy basically didn't care. "Like a what Angel? A bitch!"
"Keep your voice down!"
"No!" Buffy said plain and simple. "I brought it up because I can't stand the fact that your enjoying yourself.
"Now I can't enjoy myself." Angel said in disbelief
"Not at my expense."
Rolling his eyes, "Everything is about you isn't it, always you." Angel said coldly
"Yes, especially when I'm being hurt in the process." She said almost painfully, he was starting to get to her, and at any moment the tears would fall. "When I see you looking happy, it makes me sick. To know that your happy while I'm the one wondering why my lover doesn't want me anymore, you have no idea how much you alone can hurt me." She finally said it, what started out as a small argument, led to an emotional confession, all that pent up anger and aching, she felt as if a weight had been lifted, and now a new one took it's place.
Angel dropped his gaze to the floor, he felt guilty. He knew he hurt her, but he hoped she would get over it and do what was best. Find someone else who could love her, and give her all the things he couldn't, even though the thought of another man being with her made him crazy, he would put his feelings aside to make it happen. Braking his heart in the process, Angel never thought that he might destroy hers also. He looked into Buffy's eyes, and wanted to run and sweep her into his arms. He wanted to hold her for all eternity, kiss her hair, her lips... But that would be too selfish of him. ,p."Buffy, I'm sorry.. I never wanted to hurt you as much as I did, but I did what I thought was best."
Buffy shook her head no, but Angel continued. "It's the right thing."
Tired of hearing the same speech over and over, she gave up. "I don't want to hear this. If you can't realize how much you mean to me, then we have nothing more to say." Buffy turned away from him, and walked out of the library holding her tears, and leaving him to himself and his thoughts.
Buffy rushed down the stairs, trying to put as much distance between herself and Angel, when she reached the last step, she ran right into Sarah.
"Ma`am, I was on my way to get you, Madam Harker and her husband have arrived." Sarah noticed Angel wasn't with her. "Where is M'lord Adam?" She said calling Angel by his name in this time.
Buffy was confused for a second, but didn't falter. "He's coming." On cue, Angel came down the stairs, behind her. Buffy half-turned at the sound of his footsteps, but she couldn't look at him, if she did the tears would come and Buffy couldn't risk it.
Sarah nodded at Angel. "Your guest are in the study." She said before walking away, Buffy followed without even acknowledging his presence.
As she walked into the study, she saw the couple. The one who was supposedly Madam Harker, smiled when Buffy walked into the room, she lifted up the skirt of her white dress and walked to Buffy. "Elizabeth, how are you?" She said brightly hugging her.
Buffy was alittle stunned, when she hugged her; when she got a good look at her face she resembled Willow, from the fire red hair, to the wisdom-ridden eyes. The woman looked at Buffy, expecting an answer, before Buffy could answer she sensed Angel had walked into the room.
"Adam, you look well, you both do, don't they Mariah?" Harker, the husband implied
Angel nodded in agreement, as did Mariah.
"I'm fine.. Mariah." Buffy said now knowing the woman's name. "I'm fine" Bowing her head slightly.
Mariah noticed this immediately, "Are you sure?"
Buffy didn't answer just nodding her head, to avoid Mariah's questioning eyes.
"Come on." Mariah said. "Let's go outside, the fresh air will do us good."
Buffy took a quick glance at Angel, showing no emotion before walking out the patio door to the garden, with Mariah.
Outside the shone brightly in the garden. Flowers of all kinds bloomed in full surrounded the scene. Buffy and Mariah walked among the roses, before settling down on a stone bench. Buffy inhaled the fresh air, it so beautiful.
Mariah admired the setting before glancing toward Buffy, she took her hand in hers. "Now Elizabeth, tell me what's really wrong."
"Nothing."
"Elizabeth?" Mariah said, giving her a look that quite resembled Willow's resolve face. "Is it Adam?"
Buffy nodded slowly, she needed someone to talk to and Mariah seemed to be the one she could trust. The tears she had been holding in had broke through and the tears trailed.
Mariah squeezed her hand tightly, "Talk to me."
Buffy looked in her eyes, and saw only sincerity, that's when she stopped acting. "I don't know how he feels about me anymore. "She said sniffling. "Ang..Adam told me he can't be with me anymore, that I deserve better than him and that I should find someone who can give me what I deserve."
"Why?"
"I don't know, everything was going fine until he told me, and now I'm so confused... Why doesn't he want me anymore?"
"Elizabeth, he loves you. He wants you more than anything, I see it in his eyes. Maybe Adam is afraid he can't give you what you want." Mariah said trying to rationalize.
Wiping the tears from her now red cheeks. "All I want is him, I don't care about anything else!"
"Then don't give up on him, keep trying to show him."
"I don't know if I can. He's hurt me more than anyone, and I don't know if I can handle it, if I open up to him again, raise my hopes, I'm afraid he'll hurt me more."
Mariah smiled slightly. "To love someone, you have to trust them, you have to be willing to put everything on the line for him. No matter how much he hurts you or you him. Do you love Adam that much?"
Buffy nodded, "I would die for him." She said, with no thought.
Mariah smiled.