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Disclaimer: Not mine, the characters of Buffy belong to Joss Whedon, Thee WB, Mutant Enemy, and 20th Century Fox.
Author's Notes: 7th in the Opinions Series. Takes place during the dance scene in When She Was Bad. Angel’s POV. The series is basically particular scenes through the eyes of a certain character, if you want a certain scene and character (example: Xander, Prophecy Girl, the scene where he saves Buffy.) Just email me and ask. I’m more than willing to do requests, on one condition: You send me feedback! That’s it, thanks.
I was waiting in the shadows that night, the night she raised the stakes. The night I felt jealousy for the first time in my life. I know now she was messed up, but then she threw me for a loop, she hurt me. I didn’t think she could, but boy was I wrong.
Buffy walked into the Bronze. I saw her come in and went over to her.
Buffy: “Hi.” It was obvious I was the last person she wanted to see.
Me: “Hi.”
Buffy: “So, is there danger at the Bronze? Should I beware?” Ding. That comment set off my silent alarm bells, something was going on with her, something big.
Me: “I can't help thinking I've done something to make you angry. And that bothers me more than I'd like.” *I care for you more than I’d like.* I thought to myself.
Buffy: “I'm not angry. I don't know where that comes from.”
Me: “What are you afraid of? Me? Us?” *Because, I know that’s what I’m afraid of. Terrified.* I thought against my will, I wanted to pretend I was normal, but I wasn’t. Never would be.
Buffy: “Could you contemplate getting over yourself for a second? There's no 'us'. Look, Angel, I'm sorry if I was supposed to spend the summer moaning over you, but I didn't. I moved on. To the living.” That hurt, more than I wanted it to, more than I would admit. Yes I wanted her to spend the summer mooning over me, because that’s what I was doing. Missing her like crazy.
She headed over to Willow and Xander's table. She talked to them for a minute, Willow even glanced this way, before she pulled Xander do the dance floor by his shirt.
They began to slow dance. Her movements were very sensual. She turned around and spooned in against Xander, pulling his arms around her waist. She grinded her hips and shoulders against him. She reached up with her hand and stroked his face.
I felt my entire body clench with jealous, and hurt. It hurt me more than I would ever admit to her, besides she was free to do what she wanted. I turned to look at Willow, and felt a lot of sympathy for her, she looked as if she were dying.
Still Buffy continued her ‘dancing’. Buffy turned to Xander and tilted her head up to his, close enough to kiss.
I felt more jealous than I knew possible, I prayed that she wouldn’t kiss him, and I was answered.
Buffy slowly slithered around him, making sure not to lose contact with his body. She broke off, leaving him standing there. I felt sorry for the boy, she had just used him. Why? To make me jealous? I liked to think so, but I wasn’t sure, considering the way she had been acting it could have been anything.
Buffy went back to their table and retrieved her jacket.
She walked past Cordelia as she made her way out of the Bronze. I followed her with my stare, I watched Cordelia walk out after her. I hoped she was going to talk to her. Because somebody needed to.
But it couldn’t be me. I couldn’t get any more involved, I was already in too deep. I already felt more than I should, however at that moment I knew there would be no getting out. I was in for the long run, I loved her and that was that. Besides I was in over my head, what else could I do, but accept it?