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Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. They belong to 20th Century Fox, Joss Whedon, and Mutant Enemy. I am using them without permission, however I am not making any money off them so please do not sue me.
Author's Notes: This is #8 in my Opinion series. This is Buffy's POV when Angel breaks up with her in The Prom. The series is basically particular scenes through the eyes of a certain character, if you want a certain scene and character (example: Xander, Prophecy Girl, the scene where he saves Buffy.) Just email me and ask. I'm more than willing to do requests, on one condition: You send me feedback! That's it, thanks.
It was the night before the prom. I and all these hopes and dreams, I had the whole night planed. But it didn't work out the way I wanted it too, instead I got my heart broken and my whole world torn apart. Angel told me he was leaving......
We were in a sewer tunnel. Angel and I entered through a manhole in the roof of the tunnel and started walking.
Me: "I always say patrol's not complete without a trip to the stinky sewers."
Angel: "I'm sure I saw him come down here." He was cute when he was determined, but I thought he was always cute.
Me: "Couldn't we just let this be the vamp that got away? We could say he was this big." I held my hands apart, like people do when they tell a fish story.
Angel: "What can I say? I need closure." When he said that I suddenly thought of something.
Me: "You need clothes. You don't have a tux, do you?"
Angel: "Since when did patrolling go black tie?"
Me: "For the prom, silly." Had he forgotten? Maybe, well, I couldn't blame him. After all he was over 200 years old. The prom wasn't that big a deal to him.
Angel: "We have more important things to think about right now than a dance, Buffy." I was a little hurt. This wasn't the way he usually he acted. What was up?
Me:"Sorry, Giles. I'll just be quiet."
Angel: "Come on, don't be that way." *Don't be what way? You're the one that's not acting like yourself." I thought, a little annoyed.
The vamp dropped from the roof, growling.
Me: "Not now." Vamps really have the worst timing.
I casually staked the vampire and turned to Angel.
Angel: "I'm sorry. I'm just worried that you're getting too.. invested
in this whole thing." I'm 18, I'm supposed to be in to this. Did
he forget that?
Me: "What whole thing? Isn't this the stuff that I'm supposed to get
invested in? Going to a formal, graduating, growing up." <I know
it's not my life any more, but aren't I entitled to a little bit of a normal
life?> I thought, wondering what was going on with Angel.
Angel: "I know."
Me: "Then what? What's with the dire?"
Angel: "It's uh, it's nothing.<" Uh, oh. That didn't sound
good.>
Me: "No, you have 'something' face." <You have a something big
face.> I thought worriedly, was there some big vamp activity going on?
Angel: "I think we need to talk, but not now and not here." <What
did he have to say? What was wrong?>
Me: "No. No, if you have something to say, then say it." He
was silent. "Angel, drop the cryptic. You're scaring me."
Angel: "I've been thinking... about our future. And the more I do,
the more I feel like us, you and me being together, is unfair to you."
<What? How could he think that?>
Me: "Is this about what the Mayor said? Because he was just trying
to shake us up."
Angel: "He was right." He wasn't, he couldn't be.
Me: "No. No, he wasn't. He's the bad guy." <Didn't Angel
remember that? Didn't he know that the bad guy is never right?>
Angel: "You deserve more. You deserve something outside of demons and
darkness." <Somebody should have thought of that before they decided
I was the slayer.> I thought, before listening to the rest of what he
was saying. "You should be with someone who can take you into the
light. Someone who can make love to you." <The curse comes up
again. I didn't care. I didn't want sunlight, I didn't even care
about sex. All I wanted was Angel.>
Me: "I don't care about that."
Angel: "You will. And children."
Me: "Children? Can you say jumping the gun? I kill my goldfish."
<Besides, I knew I couldn't have children. I'm the slayer, and it
wouldn't be fair to bring children in to my world.>
Angel: "Today. But you have no idea how fast it goes, Buffy.&nsbp; Before
you know it, you'll want it all, a normal life." <Even if I did, I'll
never get it.>
Me: "I'll never have a normal life."
Angel: "Right, you'll always be a Slayer." At least he remembered
that. "But that's all the more reason why you should have a real
relationship instead of this, this freak show." I was stunned.
<How could he call our love a freak show?> "I didn't mean that."
Me: "I'm gonna go." I turned to leave. Too hurt to have to talk
to Angel right now.
Angel grabbed my arm.
Angel: "I'm sorry. Buffy, you know how much I love you. It
kills me to say this." <Then why was he? Why was he breaking
my heart?>
Me: "Then don't. Who are you to tell me what's right for me? You
think I haven't thought about this?" <I have, I spend hours thinking
about it. I always come to the same conclusion, I want you more than I'll
ever want a normal life.>
Angel: "Have you, rationally?" <Did he really think I hadn't?>
Me: "No. No, of course not. I'm just some swoony little
schoolgirl, right?"
Angel: "I'm trying to do what's right here, okay? I'm trying to think
with my head instead of my heart."
Me: "Heart? You have a heart? It isn't even beating!" The
minute I said it, I regretted it. It was cruel. Angel did have a
heart, one that loved as deeply as mine. But at the moment I didn't care
about his, all I cared about the fact that mine was breaking.
Angel: "Don't." That made me even more upset.
Me: "Don't what? Don't love you?" Did he think I could
stop? If I did I would have a long time ago, maybe then it would have
hurt less. "I'm sorry. You know what? I didn't know that I
got a choice in that. I'm never gonna change. I can't change.
I want my life to be with you." Didn't he know that?
Angel: "I don't." With those two simple words my entire world feel
apart. He didn't went to be with me?" I felt as if he ripped my
heart out.
Me: "You don't want to be with me?" I know I sounded hurt, well I
was hurt. I was devastated. "I can't believe you're breaking up
with me." There I said it, this was it. He was dumping
me.&nsbp; It was over.
Angel: "It doesn't mean that I don't ..." <That you don't what?
Love me? Well, you sure have a funny way of showing it.> I
thought bitterly. <I wouldn't have picked breaking my heart in a
million pieces.>
Me: "How am I supposed to stay away from you?" I knew I couldn't,
every time I told myself I had to I ended up back in his arms, how would
this be any different? Because he didn't want my. I realised sadly,
this time he wouldn't be waiting for me to come back. This time he
wouldn't try to change my mind, this time it was his decision not mine.
Angel: "I'm leaving. After the Ascension, after it's finished
with the Mayor and Faith. If we survive, I'll go." He was
leaving? He was going away? It really was over. This was
it.&nsbp; After everything we've been through he was walking away. And
I couldn't do anything about it.
Me: "Where?"
Angel: "I don't know."
Me: "Is this really happening?" I didn't want it to be, I
wanted it to be one bad dream. But it wasn't, it was over. Angel
had dumped me.
I walked away, my eyes filled with tears. I felt like I was dying,
and inside I was. How was I going to survive without Angel?
That was the worst moment of my life. When Angel broke up with
me. My world fell apart, because I wasn't sure how I was going to be
able to live a life without Angel. I've done in before, when he was bad,
when he was in Hell. But those were different. Even when he lost
his soul he was still in my life, but in a different way. And when he
went to Hell, he was always with me. I dreamt about him, thought about
him, and spent the rest of the time feeling guilty about what happened to
him.
I couldn't do that in this situation. I had to cope and move on, and
I wasn't sure how.&nsbp; How did I put that pain behind me?&nsbp; This was the
worst type of pain I had ever felt.&nsbp; The pain of a broken heart.