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Disclaimer: Buffy, Angel, Xander, Willow, and Cordelia all belong to Joss Whedon (The devil), Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox, and The WB. Not me, I wish they did, but they don’t. Sigh. So please don’t sue me.
Author's Notes: This takes place 15 years after Graduation Day Pt2, a little angsty, but not much. Told from Buffy, Angel, and Xander’s POV.
Part 1
Buffy:
It’s funny, if you had asked me an hour ago if I was happy, I would have said yes. Now, I don’t know.
One brief sighting in a crowded mall made me doubt everything. I thought I was over him, I thought I had moved on.
I was wrong.
Just seeing him, even for a second, brought back everything. That’s why I have to look, see if I can find him.
I love him. I wish I didn’t, but I do.
Always.
That’s why even if I don’t find him, my marriage is over. It isn’t fair to anyone this way, I love someone else. I always have.
There he is, Angel.
I’ve found him after all these years. I glance down at the chain around my neck. Angel’s ring, Xander doesn’t know I still have it. But I do, I couldn’t bring myself to throw it out.
My wedding ring, I looked up it after he left me and found out that it was used as a wedding band. I was married to Angel, that’s why I couldn’t part with it, it was the realisation of my hopeless childhood dreams.
But I couldn’t wear it, not when I was Xander’s wife, that’s why it went around my neck.
I snap out of my thoughts, and I find my voice and call his name, hoping I’m not making a fool out of myself.
“Angel.”
Angel:
It’s not often I go to the mall, I don’t like being around people that much. Actually that’s not completely true, the reason I hate the mall is it reminds me of her.
She loved to shop, probably still does.
I wonder if she’s happy? I thought I saw her a few minutes ago, but I always think I do. It’s never her, it never will be.
I’m sure she’s moved on, I know I should too, but I can’t. I keep getting pulled back into the past, I just can’t forget the laughter and the smiles.
It’s been fifteen years since the day I walked off into the smoke, and I still think of her, and the life we shared. I know she’s not mine anymore, but I’ll always be hers.
That’s why I still wear the claudagh pointing inward. My wedding band. I never told her, I was going to. But after that night, I could never find the courage. I wonder if she ever knew?
Probably not, but I can hope, can’t I?
Suddenly I hear my name being called. “Angel.” I turn towards the voice, and I see her. Buffy.
Buffy:
He turns around, and looks at me in disbelief, and then he starts to walk towards me. I run to him, and oblivious to the crowd around us, I fly into his arms. He kisses me, it represents the last fifteen years.
I finally pull away, and look up at him.
“Angel.” I say, my voice filled with emotion.
“Buffy, it’s been.....”
“A long time.” I answer.
Then I say, what I felt. “I love you.”
He looked a little shocked, and then smiled. “I love you, but I thought you would have moved on.”
“I did.” I say bluntly, his face falls, but I know I have to tell him everything. “At least I thought I did, I got married, tried to convince myself I was happy, but something was missing. You.” I say, looking into his eyes. He looks a little happier.
“Who?” He asks hesitantly, I take a deep breath.
“Xander.” I see him look like he had been hit, and I wince.
Angel:
I turn around, and look at her in complete disbelief, and then I start to walk towards her, hoping this isn’t just a dream. She runs to me, and oblivious to the crowd around us, she flies into my arms. I kiss her with all the emotion that has been building in me for the last fifteen years.
She finally pulls away, and looks up at me. “Angel.” She say, my voice filled with emotion.
“Buffy, it’s been.....”
“A long time.” she answers, I nod.
Then she shocks me, saying what I’ve wanted to hear since the day I left her. “I love you.”
“I love you, but I thought you would have moved on.” I say, even though I don’t want to.
“I did.” She says bluntly, my face falls, of course she moved on. Then she starts to speak again. “At least I thought I did, I got married, tried to convince myself I was happy, but something was missing. You.” She says, looking into my eyes. I brighten a little.
“Who?” I ask hesitantly, even though I really didn’t want to know.
She takes a deep breath. “Xander.” I feel like I’ve been punched.
“Xander?” I ask, not wanting to believe it.
Buffy:
”Xander?”
I nod slowly, hating to see the pain in his eyes. “We kind of bonded over our misery, Cordy died about a month after you left. Remember?” I ask, even though I’m not even sure he knew.
“Yeah, Willow told me.”
I step back a little. “Willow knew where you were and never told me?”
“Yeah, I asked her not to. She agreed that it would only hurt you more.”
“Great, I’m so glad you know what’s best for me.” I say bitterly.
“Buffy, I’m sorry, but you’re mom told me that you needed to move on, and she was right.”
I feel like I’ve been slapped.
“That’s why you left me? My mom told you too?” I say incredulously, he nods slowly.
“Yeah, but Buffy it was for the best you know that.”
I nod grudgingly. “I guess you’re right, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.” I grab his hand. “Angel, promise me you won’t leave me again. I don’t care if we can’t make love, I just need you.” I say, looking at him pleadingly.
He smiles at me slightly. “We can, Buffy I’m human. I have been for a few months, the reason I never told you was I thought you had moved on by now.”
I nod, knowing he was right. “It’s okay, we have time now.”
“What about Xander?” He asks, I shrug, not knowing the answer.
Then I look over Angel’s shoulder and see my husband, a sad expression on his face.
Angel:
She nods slowly, obviously not wanting to hurt me. Too late. “We kind of bonded over our misery, Cordy died about a month after you left. Remember?” She asks, obviously trying to change the subject.
“Yeah, Willow told me.”
She steps back a little, a hurt and confused look on her face. “Willow knew where you were and never told me?”
“Yeah, I asked her not to. She agreed that it would only hurt you more.”
“Great, I’m so glad you know what’s best for me.” She says a tad bitterly. “Buffy, I’m sorry, but you’re mom told me that you needed to move on, and she was right.”
She looks like I slapped her.
“That’s why you left me? My mom told you too?” She asks accusingly, I nod slowly.
“Yeah, but Buffy it was for the best you know that.”
She nods. “I guess you’re right, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.” She grabs my hand. “Angel, promise me you won’t leave me again. I don’t care if we can’t make love, I just need you.” She asks, pleadingly.
I smile lovingly at her, I’ve dreamed of this day for so long. “We can, Buffy I’m human. I have been for a few months, the reason I never told you was I thought you had moved on by now.”
She nods, accepting that I was right. “It’s okay, we have time now.”
“What about Xander?” I ask although I don’t want to, she shrugs.
Then the look on her face changes, I turn around and see Xander looking at us sadly.